I Will Follow You Into The Dark || Jegulus

5. .Tragician.

"Nobody thinks what I think."

That is a statement Remus fully and truly believes, every stupid thought he had, he felt truly stupid sharing with others, and thoughts like that plagued his mind. Small and big things alike bothered him constantly. Thoughts about him being a werewolf, a freak of nature since his childhood. Deep thoughts about life ran through his head constantly, the demons in his mind making him contemplate everything; It all terrified him. His own goddamn mind terrified him.

Another statement he stood by, "No one else is dealing with your Demons." It was him, and him alone that had to deal with everything in his head, it was not for him to burden his friends with, that wouldn't be fair to them. James was so caring and carefree, Sirius was in his own world, and Peter was... well, Peter. Remus would feel bad bothering them with the stupid ideas in his head that nobody else seemed to care about but him. They all seemed to care about him way too much for their own good. He knew he didn't deserve all that attention for anything, and not from such amazing people.

Remus sat by the lake, where he liked to hang out alone to get away from the world when he wasn't being bothered by his friends, but whenever he tried to be alone, it never lasted long because a Long-haired dog boy would always come running to annoy him. But he didn't come this time. The person who approached him was actually a much more tolerable red head. Lily Evans.

"Remus! hi!" She beamed at him and sat beside him.

"Hey Lily," Remus smiled at her. "What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Trying to escape that boy drama that has been going on. Seriously it's getting annoying." She groaned, obviously talking about James and Severus. They both fought over Lily since their first year, and Lily was starting to get annoyed.

"Hopefully James comes to his senses and stops being so petty. He's so whipped for you though." Remus replied with a small chuckle, leaning back to stare at the cloudy blue sky.

"Yeah. Speaking of petty boy drama, how's Sirius?" She asked, almost making Remus laugh, but instead he rolled his eyes.

"You mean the boy stalking us from the bushes pretending I don't notice?" Remus asked sarcastically. " I have an idea of how to mess with him and James." He smirked and pulled out a familiar piece of parchment, pointing his wand at it, but coincidentally two boys stumbled up to the group, pretending to not have just snuck out of a bush.

"Didn't want us to catch you spying on us? We're not dense you know." Lily said to the two boys.

"W-we weren't! I have no idea what you're talking about lady! Me and my good buddy James were just walking over here and saw you two - perfectly normal, right James?" Sirius laughed awkwardly, looking to his best friend for help.

"yup just walking, as best friends do. No bushes involved!" James said unconvincingly. Lily burst out into laughter, bending over at the hips. She laughed so much her face turned beet red.

"uh huh. And where's Peter?" Remus asked, knowing the meek boy was usually to be found around one of three marauders at almost all times.

"I dunno, I figured he would have been with you, but obviously that's not the case." James said, the two boys decided to sit down with the other pair, James awkwardly beside Lily, and Sirius beside Remus.

"Maybe he's actually found someone else to spend time with." Lily suggested, "I'm happy that bloke found someone better because you guys are no fun." She said.

"Excuse me!? Lily Evans first of all, how dare you, we are the most fun people in the entire school!" Sirius retorted, " right Remy?" he asked the hoy next to him, who was shocked at the involvement into their argument.

"uhm..." Remus looked between his two friends, "you both suck." he decided to say, not picking sides.

"thank you for being the sensible one out of your friends." Lily said and stood up, "now I have better things to be doing than arguing with you lot." she smiled at them and left the marauder boys sitting together by the lake.

"god isn't she wonderful." James nearly swooned.

"Shut up James." Remus punched his arm.

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Remus sat in the library, trying to get some studying done as usual. Nobody seemed to be in the library at this hour, and he thought he finally found peace. A lot of things have been worrying Remus, and recently he just wanted to be left alone. He loved his friends dearly, but he couldn't deal with it all. He knew they wouldn't fully understand, and what he needed was to not just be heard, but to be listened to.

He hears the library door open slowly with a creak and footsteps, but from where he sat, he couldn't see the door. He went back to focusing on his studying until he heard a quiet "oh." which distracted him enough to look up.

"Sorry I didn't mean to bother you, nobody else is usually here this late. I usually sit here." The voice belonged to none other than Regulus Black, the more tame brother of the bane of his existence, Sirius. Remus had heard a lot about Regulus from Sirius, but frankly, he didn't fully believe half of it. Remus loved Sirius, almost desperately, but he knew the boy was dramatic, dramatic and emotionally scarred. Remus had witnessed most of the recent fights between the brothers and they both separately had their points, neither seeing the other's side. So Remus had nothing against Regulus per se, maybe in another life, the two of them may had become friends, but not this one.

"I was just leaving." Remus closed his book and gathered his papers.

"No really please don't just leave because of me. I know you hate me, ill just... get out of your way." The boys tone made Remus feel slightly bad. regulus looked emotionally drained, like how Remus felt when he just needed to be alone, away from his friends. He knew that feeling, and he knew that's what regulus was feeling. Remus sighed and sat back down, beckoning Regulus to sit near him.

"What's bothering you?"

"Why would I tell you?" Regulus asked apprehensively.

"We may not like each other, but I know something is bothering you, something you don't want to tell your friends. Is it about your brother?" Remus asked.

Regulus sighed and sat down, nodding. "I hate him."

"I know. I feel like I do as well sometimes." Remus clasped his hands together, looking at Regulus who had his eyes shut tight, head leaned down toward his lap.

"I just feel so alone. Always, even with my friends, I'm just alone. Forced to be someone I don't want to be. Sirius will never understand, I know he went through hell at home, but its nothing compared to what they do to me, but I cant just walk out and leave, they will kill anyone they have to just to get to me." Regulus began to talk, "And I'm so jealous of Sirius because day one he got a whole group of amazing friends that helped him get out, and I cannot express how jealous I am, how much I hate you guys, but especially James fucking Potter, every time we make eye contact I want to punch him in the face, and he thinks he can save me like he did with Sirius, its absurd."

Remus nodded, "James has talked to you?"

Regulus appreciated that Remus didn't pry, make Regulus spill even more of his emotions than he already had, "I try to avoid him but he keeps finding me. He came up to me and started complimenting my quidditch skills as if he could just befriend me." Regulus sneered.

"James is too nice for his own good. I know he has good intentions for pursuing you, just don't hurt him. If Sirius doesn't kill you, I will."

"Merlin doesn't everyone just fucking love Potter?"

"Don't overstep your boundary Black." Remus glared.

"Yeah whatever. Thanks for listening to my pathetic feelings. Tell Potter to stay away from me, and not a word to Sirius." Regulus stood up, composing himself, posture straight as always, already looking as if nothing happened.

"This doesn't mean I like you Black."

"Likewise."

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I am really happy with how this story is turning out so far. I did have some troubles with a chapter later on but i managed to figure out what to do with it. I really hope you guys are enjoying this fic as much as I am.