I Will Follow You Into The Dark || Jegulus

82. Northern Downpour

Regulus had to return to school the next week. He was hopeful though, since there were only a few months left. He desperately hoped they would go by fast.

Of course, it did not.

His coursework was hell. He had to retake classes from last year that he missed too much of when he would disappear. Regulus sighed and laid his head on the table in front of him. He was in the library, suffocating in homework, but he couldn't focus on anything other than that stupid mark on his arm, Pandora and Dumbledore's prophesies, and Sirius. Everything ran through his mind, making him unable to focus on one thing.

James, The prophesy, Voldemort, homework.

He stood up and collected his papers, shoving them in his bag. He needed fresh air. Fresh air. He walked out of the library and around the corner. To the courtyard, but he kept walking. He didn't know where his feet were taking him. 

He didn't know where until he stopped in front of the lake.

Why was he here? Why was it always chasing him. In his dreams, his thoughts. Every time he closed his eyes all he saw were his arms reaching toward the light. He didn't know how to swim. Being dragged down. He could still feel the cold touch of the hands dragging him, pulling at him, ripping his clothes, his skin, anything they dug their nails into. He was suffocating. He couldn't breathe. 

Regulus couldn't swim, and Remus wasn't there to save him. 

"Reggie?" He heard Barty's voice, then felt a hand on his back.

Regulus shook his head back and forth for a moment and took a deep breath, "Sorry. I... I don't know what got over me." Regulus muttered, "I- I have something to tell you" He sighed shakily. 

"What is it?" Barty asked.

"I lied. I still have nightmares about... about drowning. They got better over the summer, but... James was there."

Barty pulled Regulus into a hug, "you don't have to pretend to be alright" He said.

"Every time I close my eyes, I'm back in that water."

Barty grabbed Regulus by the shoulders, holding him at arms length, "Well you're not. And you're here right now. You were pulled out, and you never have to go through that again." Barty said. He always seemed to know what Regulus needed to hear.

"Thanks. I'll be fine."

An owl swooped down and landed on the floor next to where Regulus sat. He grabbed the letter, and gave the owl a knut that he had on him.

"Who's it from?" Barty asked as Regulus unrolled the parchment.

"Narcissa." Regulus muttered. He would never admit it out loud, but he loved Narcissa. He hated that Lucius came and stole her, ruining her life when she might have been on the brink of leaving alongside her sister.

"What does she have to say?" Barty frowned.

The letter was among the longest he's ever gotten, spanning multiple pages, and it was an emotional roller-coaster to read.

She was pregnant. After years of trying, they were having a baby boy, who they were naming Draco, but that wasn't the main purpose of the letter. Regulus's mother was sick, and they didn't think she would make it much longer. Narcissa was begging Regulus to visit the family, but he couldn't.

"Mum is ill." Regulus frowned.

"Don't let them guilt you mate. You left. You know they will try anything to get you back."

Regulus nodded, "i've just hate that it's Narcissa. I love her, even if she married a devil"

𝄽

Regulus wrote to Sirius, telling him all the contents of Narcissa's letter. Narcissa was unlikely to send anything to Sirius, they never got along like she did with Regulus.

Regulus wanted to write back to her. Congratulate her for the baby, beg her to leave Lucius, anything, but he knew she couldn't. Or wouldn't. She was there as he did the most vile things, and all she did was watch. If anything, she was just as bad as her husband, even if she never got the mark herself.

The last few months of school consisted of a lot of studying, and exam prep, and desperately missing James. Unable to sleep in a cold bed, constant nightmares being soothed by Barty and Evan.

He kept an eye on Pandora, but she never had any more prophesies.

Regulus and James still wrote each other often, attempting to brainstorm names for their son to no avail. James was still caught up on the name "Alfie"

Dear James,
I have read the name Alfie so often that it has started to make me physically ill. If you don't want to become a single parent, and a widow, you will grow a brain.

What was that name Lily suggested? Harry? I like that name, it has a good ring to it. Harry Potter.

I'm not sure what his middle name should be though. Get back to me when you can. I've heard order business is getting busy.

I hate that I can't he there for you and Remus' birthdays. Can you do me a favor? Me and Monty have been working on a potion for Remus. It should be finished by his birthday. You and Monty should surprise him with it.

All my love,
Regulus.

And he was right, order business was getting busy. Way too busy for Regulus' comfort. Dumbledore was gone so often that students began to take notice. And the war was escalating. The professors had to stop explicitly trying to hide it from the students. Parents were no longer in denial, and Hogwarts was the one safe place away from the war. At certain times, Hogsmeade trips had to be put on pause. Death eaters roamed the streets sometimes. They killed muggles, they killed muggleborns, and they did not hesitate to kill children.

𝄽

James had to spend his birthday alone. Or at least the most alone he had been alone since his 11th birthday. Regulus was still at Hogwarts. Remus was on another mission with the order. The only people who came were Lily, Mary, Sirius, and Peter.

The wolfsbane Regulus and Monty made worked wonders. Remus had to drink it everyday for a week approaching the full moon, and it tasted disgusting, but during the full moon, he was able to keep his mind, and rather than hurt anyone or himself, he was able to curl up and fall asleep.

Immediately after the full moon, when Dumbledore saw that Remus was in good condition, he was sent on a mission.

James's birthday wasn't lonely, per-se. He was still surrounded by a lot of his best friends but it just felt wrong. He missed Regulus, and he missed Remus. Two of the most important people in his life were gone.

𝄽

Guys I'm so sorry I've been uploading less recently. I haven't had too much time to write, with my job and midterms, but after Halloween (omg every marauders biggest fear) I will try to upload more often

Is it bad that I wish I would have written faster the last few months to make the Halloween chapter ON Halloween? its still over a year away though, but that time will unfortunately go really fast from here on.