ShawnMendes entered Wattpad.

73

<<pretty lies, pretty eyes>>
~ or: ~
<<How to speak your mind. >>

First, I think he means Aaliyah, but then I recognize that everyone is looking at me.

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"You gave up your studies?" My mum looks at me very surprised, very concerned, and kinda hurt. I mean, I didn't tell her until now, and I wanted to wait till tomorrow. Thank you Shawn. So, instead I nod and take another sip of the hot punch. "It tastes amazing, Karen. Thank you."
Well, she knew about it. So, she's the only one acting kinda normal when she says: "That's nice from you, Mandy." She looks at her son, and I have the feeling, that she isn't very happy about his behaviour this evening. She seems to think for a moment, then she says: "I think it's not our business, and nor is it yours, Shawn, what Mandy does or doesn't."

"Oh, I'm persuaded what she does does affect our lives," Shawn says with a little smile. "At least it did the last weeks for me."

I can feel the tension growing at the table, again – and again I wish to be somewhere else. Maybe at my piano, but much rather I would like to be back in Toronto. Even though it's not the home I wish it would be, I would be far away from this boy.
I look at Aaliyah.

She gives me a little unsure smile.

I know, it's not often that she and her brother fight, and it's not often either, that he downgrades her right to speak in the way he did at this dinner before. I don't want to ruin this amazing relationship they have, and I don't want to stand out this evening the way I did before either. A difficult thing and a much more difficult balance to find. I take a deep breath and gaze at my mum. "Mum, I wanted to talk with you about it soon, okay? I didn't mean to hurt you by not telling. I will explain it to you later."

"It's okay, sweetie. You're old enough to make your own decisions." My mum smiles at me. Luckily, it's a real smile. We'll be fine.

I turn to Shawn. "And, Shawn, you really want to pick a fight, don't you?"

Shawn looks at his parents and at Aaliyah, knowing that his answer is observed by multiple frowns. He hesitates. "I don't want to pick a fight. I only asked a question that probably wasn't that kind as I wanted it to sound. I'm sorry."

Oh. Okay. That was nearly nice. Almost a real apology. "It's alright." I  pause for a moment. "I mean: You really shouldn't have shared my personal life without my permission, but it was correct. It is a fact that I gave up my studies. But Shawn," I lean a bit towards him to look him straight in the eyes. "You shouldn't talk about things you don't know. I don't have a boyfriend right now. My last boyfriend is the past for quite a while now, and I'm very happy with that. I don't know which bird told you what exactly, but – it's wrong – like most of the information you got from that bird. Just to let you know. Could be embarrassing." I catch and hold his gaze for a moment to make sure that my words reached him.

He looks still unbelieving – as always, but there's a spark in his eyes, that's almost impressed.

His eyes are really pretty.
Wonderful caramel eyes.
Shit.
Hastily, I lean back.

His next words prove to me that he's still in fight-mode.

"Mandy, you know there's this big problem you cause: You ask me for permission when talking about your personal life, but you didn't ask me when you found all these many, many things – about my whole family – the family you're now dining with – and about myself and my love life and everything. So you expect me to trust you in any way? No." He laughs. "I don't trust you as far as the door right there."

"You found things about us? About our family?" Karen looks at me, distracted and irritated. I can feel that every word from Shawn is making her more and more suspicious. She was friendly and nice to me when we first met, but now she's changing into a protective mum – the protective mum of a worldwide-known superstar. In the past, she surely had to be that mum a lot. Who would resent her for that?

"Yeah, she did. – Mandy, maybe you should ask your dad what the term honesty means," Shawn proposes with a half smile.

Suddenly, something inside of me is turning to stone.

The temperature at the table is falling around twenty degrees. Aaliyah puts her head in her hands. "Shawn."
My mum frowns, but apparently she's decided to let us deal with it at least for the moment.

I grit my teeth. "Don't ever speak about my dad."

"Why not?" Shawn laughs. "As if you would care speaking about other people. So I stay with what I said: Someone should have taught you how to be honest."

I barely manage to answer: "Maybe you should have asked your dad to teach you how to be nice. – No offense, Manu."

Manu just shakes his head, staring unusual frostily at Shawn. "Actually, I was thinking the same."

Shawn shrugs. "What?! She did lie. A lot. Her parents did something wrong. – No offense, Jillian."

"I have no idea what is going on here." Mum says. She stares at the both of us, clearly not understanding anything that is going on between us.

"You found things about us? About our family?" Karen repeats her question from earlier, still frowning.

This evening could never have gone well with Shawn nearby. I knew it.
For a second, I still struggle then I stand up. "It was so nice from you to invite me to this dinner, too, even though we know each other only since Friday. Nevertheless, right now, I don't feel very welcomed anymore. I see it was a mistake to come." I gaze at Shawn. He's crossed his arms and looks at the wall behind me. Okay, fine by me. I smile as well, as I can. "I told you yesterday already: I am not here to spy on anyone from your family neither from you. And I am not here to be accused again and again that I am a liar and a bad person, if you have no intention to listen to what I'm saying. Especially, I am not here to be your dummy for all the lies someone else told you."

His jaw muscle twitches but he stays silent.

I go to the door. "Please excuse me y'all. I'm going home now. Thank you, Karen, again for the dinner. I liked the baked potatoes with the beans very much, and the dessert was amazing." Now, I can't prevent my voice from breaking a bit. "It was quite nice, until I was suspected to be a spy." I look at my mum. "Mum, you should stay, of course – I will only go back to the house. Please don't be angry, we'll talk later."

Mum looks like she couldn't follow the whole back and forth, and now she seems caught off guard by my statement. She looks at Karen, Karen looks at Manu and then they all look at Shawn.
Aaliyah looks at me, apparently trying to find the right words to defuse the situation. "I am sorry," she mouths. "I didn't want that to escalate so much."

I nod. I know. But what happened wasn't her fault. Without looking anymore at anyone, especially at Shawn, I walk into the corridor. I take a little look outside the small window in the corridor and can't believe what I can see: – Or more clearly: To not see. It is absolutely dark outside –  the power of the street lanterns has gone out. Somewhere in Ontario has to be an power outage, apparently and luckily at the moment only of the street lanterns, but this makes the way home to my mum's house not less difficult and uncomfortable.

"You can't go now," someone says when I've already put on my jacket and my shoes.