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51

"It's all just your fault that I'm in this situation now!" She's crying now. "If you'd never written with him about all that songwriting stuff, then he wouldn't be asking me things like that now!"

There's no need to mention that if I hadn't written with Shawn, none of us would've done it. He had never been interested in Amy's fanfiction; he was interested in my stuff. My 'songwriting stuff'.
I grit my teeth.
There's also no need to tell Amy that she would never had the chance to be an imposter and go on dates with him if I hadn't written with him. Shawn would've never even have the slightest wish to talk to her.

So hell yeah, Amy's in a bad situation, but it is not my fault.

"I swear, I swear to all that's holy, that I will tell him that everything was a big misunderstanding, and that you were the one he was writing with. I really will tell him that you didn't write this misguided fanfiction-stuff and that you're a great friend." Amy sniffs. "But please, please help me."

"I'm not gonna help you," I cross my arms. "Never."

"Mandy, I'm so sorry, I... I just love him so much."

"If he has the same feelings, then it won't matter whether you can write songs or not."

Amy looks at me as if I've told her that she was ill to death. "I can only imagine what happens when he finds out."

"You mean that you are not me?"

"No. No. When he finds out that I'm not the girl he wants." Tears roll down Amy's cheeks.

I don't know what to say. I am really speechless. "Amy, if he doesn't want you, then it's his fault, not yours."

Well, to a certain extend, at last.

My former protective-best-friend-gene steps in, and I don't know if I should hate it or think it's remarkable that it's still there after all, marking me as a really good friend. Really good or really dumb, the bad inner voice tells me. I'm ignoring it. "Look, I have zero intentions helping you. In this case, it's your fault that you are in this situation. You put yourself in this situation. I, for myself, am getting better. But you hurt me by breaking off our friendship that way and all that shit."

"I know," Amy sniffs again. "But please?"

"No." I shake my head. "Just tell him that you don't have the energy to write songs at the moment. Girl, just say you have writer's block. He's a singer-songwriter. He's gonna understand. Just tell him anything. But let me live in peace."

"I can't."

"Why?!"

Amy looks so devastated that I can't stop myself from asking: "Amy, what the hell did you tell him?!"

She looks down at the ground. I have trouble understanding her answer. "I told him, I've had lot's of songs in store, and that he would be crazy about them."

Holy shit. "Have you gone mad?!" I stare at her.

"What else was I supposed to say?! He looked at me with these unbelievable eyes, and we had nothing more to talk about, cause we don't talk most of the time. It just happened."

If they don't talk, what the heck are they then doing all the time?! I guess I really don't want to know.

"What did you expect me to say?! That I can't write songs? That I'm a stupid girl that fell for someone, who's apparently only searching for girls who can write songs either?!"

I take some deep breaths to calm down. "The truth, Amy. You should've told him the truth."