ShawnMendes entered Wattpad.

82

<<the best friend>>

[A few weeks ago, in a Café in Toronto]
Just some notes before: Connor and I hadn't been really dating. We were still more in a get-to-know-phase – a phase where I began to like him but meanwhile I was not knowing if I would be able to ever like him as much as I liked Shawn.
I mean, I really wanted to forget Shawn, but that is never as easy as it sounds.
To be honest, at the moment I was more than happy to have Connor as a friend – someone who didn't know about Shawn and me and everything that happened. Someone who listened to me in a good manner and who just wanted to support me. Someone who didn't judge me. Someone I could rely on. As I mentioned before: I would be more than happy to fall in love with Connor, but I didn't see myself being able to do that at the moment – something that I told Connor already.
Moreover, I would move to England, soon.
So therefore, we've decided to stay with casual dating and being friends at the right now.

Today, we went to the café where I met Connor for the first time – right after being dumped by Amy (and Shawn). We're sitting at the table, coffee in front of us (cocoaccino!) and each of us got a piece of cake that is looking incredibly good.
Connor told me he wanted to talk with me about something important, and I am kinda excited and kinda afraid he's gonna ask me to be his girlfriend again. – But no. That wouldn't be Connor. He's accepting my wish for time and he wouldn't make me feel pressured.

I hesitate. "So."

"So," Connor grins at me, apparently nervous.

"What's going on, Connor?" I scan him. Now I see more signs of nervousity: He's running with his fingers through his hair, and he's playing around with his phone. His smile is a bit crumbling. "Hey," I lay my hand on his arm to calm him down. "Is everything okay?"

He looks up. "Well, yeah. I guess so. Or no. Well. I'm not sure. I think I need your advice."

"Okay. I'm up to it. – How can I help?"

"So, I met this girl. She's pretty and smart and very funny."

"Oh, yeah, well, that sounds really like a problem."

"No, well, that isn't the problem," Connor grins a bit whimsically. Then, he hesitates again. "It's more about my best friend."

"Your best friend?" I frown. "What's with him? Didn't you want that girl to meet him? Don't you want her to meet him anymore?"

"No, no! I of course want you to meet him still! But there's just the problem that..." Connor pauses shortly, seeming to not know how to express himself. Then he says hastily: "Everygirlfallsinlovewithhim."

"What?!" I stare at him.

"Every girl falls in love with him," he repeats a little  bit slower.

"I'm afraid I still don't understand." I frown.

He hesitates again. "Look. My best friend is a guy who's living the cliché – he's good-looking, super-funny, friendly and very kind."

"So are you. What's the point?"

"Charisma."

"Huh?"

"On top of all of this, he has charisma on his side. You know, the thing people get when they've kinda reach a position in life, and they are, more or less honestly, adored by everyone, while not being able anymore able to really look through all of that because sometimes it's a crazy world."

I need some seconds to understand what Connor's trying to say. Then I answer: "So he's a business-man?"

Connor's keeping silent for a moment. Then he looks at me with a hit of realization. "Yes, I think, he is. ... And he's not. – Actually, he would hate someone calling him that."

"Connor, I think you need to be a little bit more precisely, because I get only half of what you're saying." I raise my eyebrow. "But maybe, I should just meet him in person and then I can tell you if I wanna fall in love with him immediately."

I said it with a striking tone, but Connor's face is darkening. "Look Mandy, I know that you are different than all the other girls – I am just worried that ... Maybe he'll like you – how couldn't he – and..."

I can see that he hates to admit it. So after a moment of silence, I speak it out loudly: "You're worried that he's gonna fall in love with me? And he's gonna try make me fall in love with him?" I shake my head and grin to show Connor how ridiculous this imagination is. "I promise you I'm not the type for a guy who can have every girl like you described."

"You're wrong. – You're a girl every intelligent guy with eyes would fall for." Connor reaches over the table for my hand.

I allow him to take it, and he squeezes it softly. I Again, my thoughts travel automatically somewhere else, and I think about how a special young man made me feel several months ago. I breath in and I breath out. Then I smile and reply the pressure of Connor's hand. "I can only assure you: There is absolutely no chance for someone like him to find his way into my heart. But tell me more about him. How was all of this in the past a problem?"

Connor breaths in and out either. He clears his throat. "The problem is that each and every one of the girls I've met until Angelina just wanted me because it got her closer to him."

Being in the situation where a friend takes all the attention and where you're always the second place is quite familiar to me.
Nevertheless not everybody is like Amy – every time Connor talks about his best friend, he praises his characteristics, and besides the girlfriend problem, they seem to get along very well. I hesitate, then I say: "Does he know about all of these issues?"

Connor bites his lip. "I don't think so. I mean he has already enough problems, so he doesn't need to be burdened with such a ... dumb ... thing."

"I don't think that this is dumb. It's how you felt and how you feel right now – it's about your friendship." I look at him seriously. "This is important. Very important. Cause you know how it went with Amy and me, right? Communication is the keyword." I pause a little. "And that's the reason why we're talking about it, isn't it? –Nevertheless, I really think you need to talk with your friend about it too. – I'm sorry to ask this that late, but what's the name of your best friend again? You didn't tell me yet, right? I would feel very uncomfortable if so forgot."

"Uhm. No. You're right. – I didn't tell you his name yet." Connor hesitates for a long second – honestly, it's more a good short minute. Then he says: "It's ... Peter."

I stare at him. "Peter? Really?"

It sounds like he just invented that name.

Connor seems to realize that too, cause he suddenly says: "Fuck, okay. I don't want to lie to you. I wanna be totally honest with you. ... It's not Peter. It's-" He lifts the pressure on my hand. "It's Shawn. Shawn Mendes. Mandy, my best friend is Shawn Mendes."

— — —

🗒️✍🏻 Mandy's songbook

...

Remembers me of how he held me in the dark
How he held me, when the light was fading out. (Uh, hm. Uh, hm.)

Your face's everywhere
(His face's everywhere, his face's everywhere)

🎶

It's so hard to get over you
(get over him, get over him)
TV
Radio

My mother's phone calls
And her asking if I'm fine
Me laughing over the fact that I'm still feeling
all this crazy stuff
Me crying, crying me to sleep,
thinking 'bout the way you held me
(he held me),
held me in the dark

Hm, hm, Oh. Oh.

...

🎶