ShawnMendes entered Wattpad.

128

[Still New Years Eve]
I agreed to Shawn posting that we were together now but I asked him, to not post things about me or my personal life. I didn't want things to be on the internet yet, and I guess part of me knew, that the second my face was on the internet, there was no going back.

[🔔 You call Mum ⤵️]
🔈
🔉
🔊

"Hey honey, how're you?!"

"I'm fine thank's."

"You don't sound fine. Is everything alright? Something with Shawn? – I have to say I read a lot the news these days and therefore a lot about your now officially boyfriend."

"Yeah official but not really official."

"Is that bothering you?"

[silence]

I hem. "I don't know.
Honestly: Is all of this bothering you?"

"Oh honey, I understand. But it's now been nearly ten years since we've left England. And surely I'm very worried where this could lead to. But I thought you knew that when we've moved to Canada – when we made this step – we did this mainly for you. It was to assure that you have a normal childhood. A good childhood."

I'm having very ambivalent feelings about the whole moving-to-Canada-thing and about my parents wanting to 'give me a normal childhood' but all in all I appreciate them doing this and me being in Canada now, so I just say: "I know."

"You know that it never was meant to be forever. I mean: You're an adult now." My mum sounds a bit melancholic. "I knew from the first time I heard you playing the piano – when I heard you singing – I knew that you'd have this great musician talent. I'd never take that from you. And I'd never take that from the world – if you decided to share that talent."

"But what about you? I mean it surely would affect you to suddenly be in the focus of paparazzi and everything. What about Gerald?
I don't want you to be unhappy and to feel like the whole world is suddenly watching you. And it's not like I'm doing this by making a great hit or something. It's just me being Shawn Mendes girl-friend."

"Not just. Please don't say 'just'.
You're never 'just' Shawn Mendes' girl-friend Mandy."

"I guess I struggle with the whole 'being related in any kind to a famous person'. I'm worried that people will always see me only like this. That it's gonna be like back then."

My mum keeps quiet for a moment, then she says: "I totally understand. Although: Aren't you worried doing hide and seek for years? Don't you want a kinda normal relation-ship with your boyfriend? Go out and have fun, living the moment?"

"It's not like I'm not used to it."
I bite my lip. "It's just no easy decision. You can't take it just back once you've made it. But yeah. You're right. I feel like I want to hold his hand when we're walking down the street – damn, I really want to hold his hand. Honestly, at the moment, Shawn and I don't even leave the house together. It's way to risky. Now that he announced our relationship (while me staying anonymous) the paparazzi and the fans are SO on the run to get a photo from me. It's crazy. Even when Shawn just  brings home his groceries - they aren't even hiding, they're parking in front of the building. I'm using a back-back-door to get in, wearing a hoodie and sunglasses."