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58

Still Pickering
I'm looking around curiously. We're in the suburb of Pickering, many same-looking houses with white painted wood verandas and little gardens in front of the entrance. Everything is powdered with a layer of glittering ice. My mums new house is one of those.

"See you two," Karen says with a friendly wave and a warm smile, and then, she drives down the hill, passes a few houses, and stops by a similiar white-painted-wooden house.

We watch her exciting the car and going to the entrance. She leaves inside and then it's just my mum and me. My mum smiles at me. "You wanna go inside?"

"Yeah, of course." I follow her to the entrance, and she opens the door with strumming keys and a theatrically move. "Step in!"

The first thing I recognize, is how friendly the atmosphere of the house is. We walk through a short hall with wooden floor and some painted pictures. Then we get into the living room. It is a simple partiated room with a sofa that looks quite cozy, a big bookshelf and a sideboard, that is eventually full with parlur-games. (At least, it was, when we lived in our old house. My mum always keeps saying, that you can't have a home without some parlor-games, because whenever you have guests, and they are annoying, you can propose to play something. Besides, my mum and I love to play some games in the evening even if it's most of the time only the two of us.)
We make a little roomtour through the rest of the house, and I really love the little kitchen and the fluffy carped in the dining room, that is connected to the kitchen through a wide open door.

"I like it," I say to my mum. "Surprisingly, I have to say, I really like it. It looks like you made a real home for yourself."

My mum smiles. "Yes, I did. It's great, that you like it, too." She clears her throat. "It's just that I didn't made it only for myself."

I frown. "Huh?" For a not so ridiculously second, I think, she's gonna ask me to move back in again.

But then she says: "I've met someone."

.
.
.

I have hardly problems to understand what my mum is saying. Is there something with my ears? My mum didn't meet anyone after the divorce from my dad. She's always been saying: "I don't need another man to serve."

"His name's Garry. He's working at my office, too, he's very nice and-"

"Mum," I interrupt her. "It's okay, you don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Explain me why you like him. Explain me why you two will move in together. It's your life."

"Yes, it is, but I really want you to like him, too, I mean..."

"It's not, like I need a new father, mum," I say. "I am twenty-two, ya know?"

"Oh darling, I know. And I totally understand. I never wanted to suggest something like that."

I laugh. "I mean, it isn't like you would marry him right now away from the spot."

My mum keeps silent.

"Mum?"

"He prpsd t me lst wk," my mother mumbles.

"Mum, what?" I didn't understand anything except the word "weak". But this can't be, what she said.

"He proposed to me last week," my mother repeats, and then looks at me very careful.

"Holy shit!" I can't hold myself back. For a second or two, I only hear the blood rushing in my ears.

My mother would be married again. She'd marry someone I don't know. She'd start a new live – move on. A new chapter. That is the message. I breath in and out. Then, I say: "Okay, that's cool. Great. Really great for you." I try to smile, but it hurts a bit, and my cheeks feel a bit weird when doing it. "Do you mind, if I go on a walk? It's such a nice sunny winterday outside, and I really would like to take a look around as long as it's still lightened."

"Mandy," my mum tries to reach my hand, but I wave. "It's okay mum. It's really okay. I just need some time for myself, okay? I'm gonna be back in the evening for dinner." I stop. "Will G be here, too?"

"No, he's on a business-trip, for the next few days. He won't be back until monday. He was very disappointed that he wouldn't get to meet you, but I told him, that this will be soon enough, and to be honest, I was happy to have some quality-time just with you, too."

I smile again, and this time, it's a way more real smile. "Okay, great. Mum, please don't be hurt, that I go now, it's just..."

"You need some time. I totally understand." My mum smiles back at me, and again, I feel the deep connection between us. We both went through so much together, and we understand each other without much words.
I go to the door, and I am halfway down to the hall, when my mother appears in the hallway of the second floor.

"Don't you maybe wanna see your room first before you go?"

"Thank you Mum, but I will have a look at it, when I'm back."

"Okay, love you, darling."

"Love you, too, Mum." I close the door behind me and take a deep breath. I wipe an away the tears, that suddenly appeared in my eyes and decide to walk down the street.