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"I had NO idea that Connor was gonna be there", Shawn says on our way back home, repeating what I've already heard while we we've been talking to Connor. We didn't stay long, but when we went my mind was still struggling with all of this. Shawn's struggling with that, too. I can literally see how his mind's working.

"The main question is: why has he been there?!" I'm asking the same thing I wanted to ask Connor, but neither Shawn nor I did ask that. We were both too confused how our date did turn out. "It's a strange coincidence."

"It really is." Shawn says. "And I already wrote him to ask him about that."

"Do you think he's mad?" I bite my lip.

Shawn's smiling calming but he seems a bit anxious too. A short pause, then he answers. "I didn't have the feeling there's bad blood or something between Connor and I. And I think I'd feel that if there was something because we're like brothers."

"That's good. That's really good. Actually, I was really worried if this would get in between the two of you." I breath in and I breath out. The air smells like spring. I'm not sure if I'm knowing at the moment anything about Connor - I thought he was gonna be angry and surely sad about those revelations, but the whole April-thing put another light on his feelings.

Shawn seems to feel that I'm still not being okay with all of this and he stops from walking a moment to grab my arm softly. "Hey. Talk to me."

"I don't know what to say."

"Look, I didn't want you to feel bad, and I wanted to lift that pressure of all of us a long time. I don't know why Connor was there, but I'm glad that this is now not a secret anymore."

I nod. "I'm glad about that too." I give him a little smile. "I wanted to clarify this since so long, and it got heavier and heavier - someone of us had to do something. I guess it'll turn out all good for us, won't it?"

Shawn smiles back. "You're right. It went surprisingly good. Connor seems to be okay now."

We continue walking, Shawn's arm's laying casually on my back.

"So, what do you think about April? You didn't mention her before", I ask and look at Shawn. He shrugs. "I didn't mention her because I didn't meet her before. But she seems to be nice."

"Yeah, she didn't flip out when Connor introduced you."

The whole introduction thing is in ninety-nine percent not necessary for the people when they meet Shawn, but I think it's a question of politeness to do so either way.
Surprisingly, April reacted very cool-headed - she'd smile, laugh and then focused back on Connor. It was remarkable how her focus's didn't change at any point to superstar Shawn Mendes sitting at the table.
Also: it's surprising that Shawn didn't know about her. I would have thought that he and Connor would speak about such stuff, but it looks like Shawn's not been the only one having secrets and not speaking his mind.

We're reaching the corner of a street that is a few minutes of Shawn's apartment away. Honestly, sometimes I observe myself calling it "our apartment". Crazy huh?
Shawn stops again, looks around - no people, no smartphones pointing at us, no paparazzi-cars - then he leans forward to kiss me.

It's a soft kiss turning into an intense one.
It's a kiss that shows how relieved both of us are that this whole Connor-topic is off the table.
Shawn's hands are touching my back, slipping under my sweatshirt; his fingers are running over the bare skin of my stomach and my hips, and it sends chills down my spine.
I ruffle through his hair - making it look more messy - and we both giggle.
Before we can get to caught up in making out, Shawn says: "There's something I wanted to talk about with you."

I lean at him, breathing in his smell. It's so good. I wonder wether I'm smelling that good for Shawn too. Is that weird? Anyways.

"I can't but admit that I want this - us- to stay a secret even after the announcement of the album", Shawn crosses his hand with mine. The electricity I feel is really distracting. Just like the featherlight kisses he is giving me. I need to get a little distance between us to stay serious, at least for a moment. "Why? Why would you want this to be a secret like forever? Because of the media? Of the fans? - Or because it's still all fresh and new, and we're maybe not-" "No, it's not that", Shawn interrupts me. He touches my chin and pushes back a curl behind my ear. "I assure you it has nothing to do with us being not long a couple. But you're although right. – It's just, that I love that this is only between us. You know that I hate oversharing, and it's just so annoying and ... destroying, to be followed around – when you're taking a walk, when you go shopping, even when you're on your first date – they spot you, and they even ask you for an autograph when you're standing crying in the rain when you just broke up. They follow you all around, and they never leave you alone, and all of this pressure, all of this judging – all of this misjudging gets to you – at least after a while. And I know that this isn't possible – with us being officially a couple, with social-media and with our collaboration on the album. But I'd just have this feeling right now to stay – like forever."

I look at Shawn, realizing again what a luck I have, to have this amazing person by my side. "True words Mendes, true words", I mumble.

"It's just, that I ... don't want to lose you", he says, almost sounding helpless.

I close up to him.

"You won't lose me."