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.•* Book 5 - Chapter 145*•.

<<It's party-time.>>

"Are you excited?"

"Yeah, of course. I didn't go to a lot of musician's partys recently", I say, putting on my coat. It's still fucking cold. We have March and the snow's still all over the city and the landscape, and it doesn't seem like it will disappear the next weeks – at least according to my weather-app and the little snowflake-ikon on every single of the upcoming days. I reach for my hat. It's quite a nice hat. Red-woolen with gold glitter on it.
"I like that hat", Shawn leans forward and kisses my forehead. I'm leaning onto him, breathing in his smell and feeling his warmth. "I like it too. Someone gifted it to me."

"Oh yeah? Someone ... special?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"How special?"

"Very special", I hug Shawn and he touches my back softly. I'd never feel so comforted with anyone. We're now a couple for two and a half months, and I'm still getting used to it. – Who am I fooling?! I am already used to it.

"Look, before we go I really need to talk with you about something", Shawn says, and he crosses our hands. I look up, just to see him running his hand nervous through his hair.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Well. I think so." Shawn hems. "It's just that Andrew's been putting a lot of pressure on me and the new album's now ready and it wouldn't be where it is without you and your inspiration, and..." "And the album's gonna be great." I smile at him but he still stumbles. "Shawn, what's going on?" I frown.
His eyes are shifting a bit strange as he's really nervous. He lifts his hand and touches my chin, just to leave a trace of flames on my face. He lowers his hand and replies my view for several breaths. "I just ..." For a second he still hesitates, then he cups my head in his hands. "I just want to tell you how I feel about us."

"Uh-uh?"

I'm not gonna lie: Now, I am nervous.

"I know, I've already asked you to be my girl-friend, but I didn't tell you what I feel at all. I hope I showed it but - yeah I didn't tell with actual words. - I know you probably have been irritated because of that cause we kinda live together and we spent our breakfeast together – and I fucking love spending my breakfast with you – and..." He stops himself from stumbling over his own sentences. "I guess, what I'm trying to say is: I - I love you, Mandy. I love you. I love every inch of you. I love the way you smile and the way you make me smile, I love how you can get grumpy if you get woken up too early and I love how you get lost in music - as much as me - maybe even more as I do. You're so kind and sweet and funny - and sexy - man even when we fight I just wanna kiss you so badly. I love that. And I love the way our souls have connected from the day we've met on this crazy platform. – My gosh, that sounds so cliché! But it's true. I'm just speaking the truth. I love you Mandy Riverdale."

My hearts making bumps as I've been on a marathon, not standing in the entrance of the apartment. It is jumping and stumbling with every word Shawn says, and the fire in my chest is rising up to something I can't explain. I mean, I knew it. I already knew that I had fallen in love with Shawn weeks ago. But hearing him say he loves me and me feeling this response, that is incredible.

I look him in the eyes, making sure he pays me full attention. Then I pull us closer together.

I can't but smile because of us being so excited and nervous. My head feels like a light-bulb. But who cares. And who cares what the future brings, all the media-stuff and the album and everything.

All that cares is right now.

I can't but smile.

"I've to tell you something very important, Shawn." My smile gets brighter. "I love you too Shawn Mendes."