The Agreement •MXM• (Book 1)

I'll take care of you if I have to

Aaron

"Cyrus,wake up."I say to the slumbering lump of blanket curled up on the messy bed. I don't wait for him to get up as I go to tie my tie in the mirror before going to finish making him breakfast.
That's fifteen minutes and he still hasn't gotten up. I don't know about him but he better not let these waffles cool. I angrily stomp into my room to scold him about how I'm ALREADY dressed and ready for work while he's sleeping his butt off. But when I get there he's not in bed.
The bathroom door is open and realise he's probably getting ready. Not getting him  out of my lecture though. Taking off my apron and throwing it onto the unspread bed I lean on the bathrooms door,"Mr Mclain this better not be you waking at nine forty five- why are you on the floor?"he groans in response and edges closer to the toilet where he throws up. I'm on the ground with him asking more questions,"How many times has that happened?"my voice has a tremor in it that I've never heard I'm panicking because in all honesty I've never seen him look so weak before.
Sluggishly,he shakes his head that's still bent over the toilet seat,"I've lost count."his voice is so small compared to the loud and fast tone I'm used to. I watch as he shuts his eyes and opens them again.
"I'm going to get you water do you think you can drink that?"he shakes his head again,"I'm getting you to a hospital. Now."I'm pulling out my phone when he grabs my wrist stopping me,
"It's just food poisoning,I don't have to go."
"It's just food poisoning? Do you have any idea how many people die of that in year? This country alone?"my voice is barbed and angry,how could he even stomach down playing this. I'm caught on the very uncomfortable fence of wanting to yell at him and hold him in my arms and cradle him,"What could've given you this?"
"Well,we kind of ate somewhere."he sits up a little straighter giving full view of his pale complexion that makes me want to carry him to a hospital whether he wants it or not,
"My god Cyrus don't you dare tell me you ate gas station food."I put my hand over my head there's a head ache coming on. He purses his lips and says,
"... I was hungry."
"We need to go the hospital."
"No."A pause in which he looks at me unmoving expression,"Please? Aaron we can't go."he pleads shaking my arm as hard as his weak muscles can which instills further fear for how bad he is,
"Why not?"I ask rolling up my sleeves and loosening my tie. My hand finds its way to rubbing his back in careful,repeated circles,
"Because- we just can't. I've had this before I'll be fine."I look at his fibble figure and conclude that I don't give two dead rats that he had it before he need professional attention. It's taking everything in my right now to hear him out and not throw him in my car.
"You're scared of hospitals,aren't you?"I say,monotonous. I watch his face twist into three different,exaggerated expressions all proving the suspect guilty.
"I'm not,I'm just- their not a nice place to be and also needles are the devil reincarnate. Believe me."
"Oh and being on the floor of your bathroom pucking is better? Alright thanks for the information."I put my hand over his waist and I'm happy he's not punching me in my eye again,I doubt he has the strength to do that though,
"See your making it sound bad with all your fancy words."he says as I help him walk to the bed,
"Whatever sit here."I put his down and he lies down flat on his back like a dying fish that's just been plucked from the ocean. After I make sure he's not leaving me I go to the kitchen and make him a glass of warm honey water so he gets his life back. I give it to him with much difficulty because Cyrus looks at me like I'm giving him poison.
After he finally take one sip of the drink he looks up at me with weary eyes. I sit down on the bed and wait for whatever it is he has to say,
"You can go to work now."I furrow my brows and suck in a breath,
"I'm not going to work."
"I'm fine right now so you can leave I'll be alright"
"Exactly,your fine now but what about later when I'm not around and you have another episode? What then?"I'm angry that he'd even suggest that I leave him here in this state I wait for the moment he tells me he was joking but it doesn't come. I turn away from his eyes that tell me he thinks I would do something like that and change from my work clothes to more comfortable ones. I walk to the door ready to make something else for him when I hear him again,
"You don't need to take care of me."like a bat straight to my heart it hits. And it knocks the air out my lungs,it beats me until it knows there's nothing left but a straining ache. I takes everything for me not to just turn around and act irrational. All the will power I have to just leave and hide from the fact that he ever said it.
"It is my duty and responsibility to take care of you if something like this ever happens to you,Cyrus. I'm obligated to do this. Whether you like it or not."
"But no one is holding a knife over your head to do it. It's not like a crime or something. We're just two people who got married by we don't have to treat each other like its real."this hurts so bad. I hate how badly this hurts. It's like thinking I was at one place with you and turns out I was further than I thought. I was miles away from where I thought I was. Where I thought we were.
"Precisely,because we are married. Because you are my husband and I am yours is why I have to stand here and be with you until I can confirm that you are okay to be alone."My voices raises and I desperately just want to leave. To be alone. But this has to be over and I don't know what will be left of me when it is,
"You don't have to stay here. You don't have to force yourself."you are cable of choosing work over me is what he's saying to me. I would not. I AM not.
"You,Cyrus are my responsibility and I do not care-"
"I don't want to be anyone's burden,Aaron."there it is and I simply cannot and will not take anymore from him. I don't think I can take anymore without breaking right infront of him.
"I'm staying here until further notice. End of story."
"But I-"I shut the door and whatever he has to say is drown out and my bartered heart is barely beating. I look down at it and tell it I told you so. Who the hell told you to beat for him. To respond when he never spoke to you. Why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to us?
I don't want to do this anymore. Never do this again.
I walk to the kitchen counter and cry into my hands. Tears that I don't want to fall because I haven't cried since I first felt home sick all those years ago. Pain like that is pain from the soul. Pain like that is pain that digs as deep as it can go. Cyrus what the hell gives you the right to compare to that?
Who gave you permission to live in my mind like this?
When did I allow it? When did I say you could cast me as the fool in your play and say I am nothing when all I wanted was to be something? How could you? Why did you?
... why did I stand as you did?

____________________

For the next seven hours I take care of Cyrus. Like I said I would.
Thankfully for the most of that time he's either silent or asleep.
It takes time for his fever to go down. It takes time for his appetite to come back. It takes time for the life to fill the complexion of his skin again. Time I gave. Time I'm giving.
For the fifth time I half to go over his face and neck with a cold towel. This time he's asleep. I wring the towel hard to make sure it's nothing but damp but not dripping. I wipe him a couple times and watch as he stirs in his sleep,fluttering lashes. What I always noticed.
"Never,ever make me worry like this ever again Cyrus."I wring and go again as words that are meant to leave get stuck in my throat,"Just stay healthy and don't do stupid things,just run around like you always do. I'll let you call me a burnt pasta pot all you want no repercussions. Do whatever you want but don't get sick,don't cry. And definitely don't sob. Just be Cyrus. That's all,is it too much to ask you to be safe for me?"I pause and look over the face that's not even awake to watch me shudder,"For the love of god never do it again. Never do this again. Never make me worry ever again,Cyrus,I can't take it. Just- don't. And if this ever happens again I want you to know you are not a burden to me,Cyrus."I hold his warm hand,"Please?"he doesn't answer me obviously. Because he's asleep,dead as a log and that's fine by me.