Kingdom Of Cards chpt 4 N.S. story Bad Omens

Down a road

Eleanor's POV
"Hey, buddy look at me... Noah, look at me,it's ok alright." I came running in to see the guys kneeling in front of Noah as he sat on the couch Sally and I were in earlier. "No, I wanna go back out. I can still sing, come on" he says as Jolly makes him sit back down.
"No, Noah! You f*cking hide that from us and just expect us to go with it?" Jolly was right. "YOU F*CKING SEE HOW IT FEELS!" Noah yells at him, making Folio pull him back.
"Noah, it's ok. You need time to heal."
Nick says as Noah puts his face in his hands. "No! I don't want to wait.
Those are our fans! I can't let them down too" Folio furrows his brows.
"Who'd you let down? " he asked as Noah shakes his head. "Paddy, just died " Jolly throws his hands in the air in disbelief. "Again we go... why aren't you telling us this sh*t Noah?"
Noah stands up all to have Folio pull him back down. "Hey hey hey, don't do that, let me get your pills ok?" Folio always was the peacemaker in the group. I remember when he talked to me about my miscarriage.

"F*ck you, Jolly! " I literally was cringing watching this. "F* ck you too, Noah! " Jolly's was sarcastic just to get back at Noah a little. "Noah, take your pills. I know this is hard, but you need to be easier on yourself." Nick encouraged but Noah shook his head.
"I don't want to see anyone but Eleanor right now." That was so heartwarming to me. He doesn't even know I'm in here.

Folio looks up at me and smiles, before walking away with the boys.
I slowly walk towards Noah and kneel in front of him. I grab his chin and smile as our eyes lock. "Baby what's wrong with me?" He whispered as tears fell down his face. "Noah, it's not your fault." I then hug him tightly.
"I don't want to skip this show..
Eleanor it might be one of my last."
I resent hearing him say that.
"Don't you ever say that again."
I said full of anger and emotion.
"We both know what could-
"Noah, don't say it again. I know you're scared, but don't give it power over you." He looked devastated and had that same look in his eyes when he'd get depressed.

"Noah, what's going on?" I whispered while grabbing his hands. "If I can't perform today then I need to-
He started but tears fell down his face and prevent him from saying anything more, so he let's my hand go and shows me his wrists.

I could see all his scars and pain written deeply into his skin. "No noah, you can't keep doing this."
"It's either this or you. I'm open to both at this point " I really don't want to f*ck because he needs a distraction.
"Noah, I want you to want to be with me cause you care, not as a distraction." He nods but doesn't look at me. "Eleanor I can't be that person... I'm sorry babe." I pull him into another hug as my eyes start to water. "Let's get back to the hotel and talk. Everything's gonna be alright, Noah." I whispered before standing up and grabbing his hand.

"Could you grab my headphones? There in Jesse's truck." I nodded, "absolutely. Why don't you get in the car?" He nods and starts to head out.
I watch as he quickly walks to the car and searches for something in his pocket before I turned around to go find Jesse.

As I was walking to the parking lot, Folio comes running to me with a huge smile. "Come give me a hug sweetie!" He says wrapping his arms around me in the sweetest way.
"Folio, you're too adorable ya know that? " he giggles and nods. "I'm pretty aren't I? " I jokingly hit his arm before we walk together to the back.
"So whatcha doing back here? "
"Oh Noah asked me to get his headphones real quick. He said their in Jesse's truck." Folio nods and points left. "I'll show you, but it's that red truck to the left. " he says sweetly as we head down that way.

Noah's POV
The blood ran down my wrist and onto my cargo pants as I sat in our car wanting to die. Now I have a good reason to kill myself, I have cancer that will probably beat me to it.

I hold my sliced wrist against my chest as the burning pain flows down my entire arm. I didn't need my headphones, I needed to be alone and I knew how wrong I was to do that to Eleanor.

A few minutes later I see her walking down in the rearview mirror.

Eleanor's POV
Thanks to Folio I found Noah's headphones and was now reaching for the door handle on the driver's seat side. "Ok, Noah here's- I instantly stopped talking when I saw the blood leaking through his long fingers.
He looks at me with such sadness as I stood there in shock. "Why'd you do that! Noah I was gone for five minutes?" I almost yell as he whispered "I'm so sorry " I run to his side of the car and open the door.
"How deep is it? " I asked as he let's me look at his fresh cut. "Not deep enough " I literally wanted to slap him across the face, but I couldn't due to his new diagnosis. "Noah, this is insane " he won't look at me cause he knows I'm right. "Noah? Why are you doing this to yourself." A tear falls from his face and onto my hand. "I f*cking just lost Paddy, got diagnosed with esophageal cancer, lost my Grandmother to cancer... could you not see Why I'd feel this bad? " He was just a wreck. "Noah, think about Sebastian... he needs you." He looks at me in disbelief. "You two seemed like you couldn't have been happier the past five years." I instantly defend Sebastian. "I did that to him. He had no choice, Noah. Do you know he came crying to me one night cause how much he missed you? Yeah, he came in my room and asked me, "Mom what happened to Dad, I miss him so much." The pain in his eyes made me feel so guilty for taking that away from him.... My point is he loves you so much, and so do I " he shakes his head as more tears stream down his face. "I don't want to leave you guys, but I'm not letting cancer kill me first... I'd rather die with a bullet through my head than a sickness my Nana died from." The heartbreaking part was he meant it. I cup his face and kiss him. "Cancer and suicide won't kill you.... you need to start saying that to yourself every day and night." I hug him once again before closing his door and jogging to the back of the car. There were some hoodies back there, so I grabbed two and run to the front.

"Noah bring your wrist here" he listens as I wrap the black hoodie around his wrist and use the sleeves to tighten it. "F*ck!' He jumps but I need to help slow the bleeding.
Once the first one is tied, I do the same for the second one. "Hold on, Noah " I whispered while grabbing his hand and pulling out of the parking garage......