Kingdom Of Cards chpt 4 N.S. story Bad Omens

Days incomplete

Noah's POV
KNOCK KNOCK
"Ellie? It's me" I said calmly as I rest my forehead against the white door.
"Baby, I'm so sorry. I need to talk to you. Ellie? Baby please just listen to m- that's when the door was yanked open, making me lose balance and almost falling face forward. When I recollect myself, my eyes meet Eleanor in complete shock. She had black hair again and looked just like her old self. Back when we reunited for the first time. She looked so beautiful and that almost made this so much harder.

I put my hands in my pockets as my legs couldn't seem to stand still. I was so nervous. My body is very slowly starting starting to crave more and the weird movements are making it so obvious, and she definitely noticed.
"Why the f*ck are you here?" She questions sternly as I step into our bedroom and shut the door before speaking.
"I had to see you. I made a horrible decision and I feel terrible about it. Eleanor I'm so sorry. It was an accident and I just... I couldn't control myself and my desire for-
"Really! That's your excuse? Why don't you just come out and say 'I'm a selfish peice of sh*t who doesn't give a f*ck about his beautiful kids, girlfriend, or morals. Instead you fell in love with fame. You fell in love with the devil and he made you his servant .' How about that, Noah? Sound familiar? " I swallow a lump in my throat and look down at the floor. "You can't even have the respect to look me in the face?" My mouth opens but nothing comes out.
My head is so foggy and my eyes see double as I stared down at my black army boots. I was going through withdrawals.

"You know what you are, Noah?
A self centered f*ck." I lean back against the nightstand from the awful feeling entering my entire body.
"Oh no, are you having withdrawals now, Noah? " I look up at her and reach my hand out for her hand as my vision started to blur. "Ellie? I need help." I almost whispered as I felt her slap my hand away, making me stumble and eventually sitting against the bathroom door. "Eleanor?
Baby please... I need your help. " I mumbled as I close my eyes, not from exhaustion, but from the awful feeling of desire. "Ellie?" I whispered as I feel her tilt my chin upward.
"You go and beg God for mercy.... Don't beg me. I don't forgive you. " and her hand was gone from underneath my chin not even a second later.

"Eleanor! I can't take it." I almost yell as I needed more, lots more. "Eleanor please help me!" My fist curl together as I stand up and make my way to our bed. "I remember those days too, the only difference is I never touched a drug since becoming sober. You on the other hand seem to be desperately wanting more. Am I wrong, Noah? " She questions while slowly walking towards me as I lie on my back against our bed. "You have no one to blame but yourself, Noah and you are the only one who can fix it... If you decide to do so." I lick my lips and put my hands over my face as the craving for more begs inside me. "Noah?" I barely hear Eleanor whisper as she stands with her arms crossed beside the bed. "Eleanor, I'm f*cked ." My teeth press down against each other as my withdrawals were getting much worse, minute by minute. "No, Noah!
You f*cked us all over. Don't talk to me ." She says with so many emotions.
Sadness was in her eyes, anger was in her voice, and love was in her soul, but her hatred was overruling the loving side of her.

Right after Ellie said that, she left our bedroom. God I need to fix all of this...
But how? Why would I do something like this again? Just why?
As each second rolls by, my body is starting to panic. I need more. I want more. I have to have more....

I get the strength to get out of bed and stand up to my feet. I nearly clasp but manage to stand up and try to help myself. God only knows, but what am I gonna do about everything?