Eleanor's POV
I sat on Noah's bed and slowly opened the tiny box. As the small lid opens, I see a beautiful red diamond ring. This ring was definitely very expensive.
I slowly pick it up with my shaky hands and put it on my right middle finger. A tear falls as the blood red diamond sits perfectly on my finger. It was so generous. I was about to set the tiny box down, until I see a folded piece of paper inside. I gently pull it out and carefully unfold it. I knew by the hand writing that it was written by Noah.Hey beautiful,
When you get this I want you to read it very carefully.Nick will give this to you when I'm gone, but don't be sad about it Angel.
I want you to smile and remember our best times together as you read through this. When I do go home, know that I'll still be with you. I can see you from above and I'll be smiling down at you and our kids, I love you all so much.Take care of yourself. You're a beautiful woman, Eleanor and I've had the best times of my life with you. Even through our hardest times, I still loved you. I would do anything just to see that beautiful smile again. You really are so beautiful, Eleanor.
Folio and I as you know, talked about everything. He'll be there for you. I want you to be happy again, even without me. Fall in love again, make stupid decisions, have fun, learn from our past mistakes, and be the incredible mother you always were. I know you're strong, but you've gotten so much tougher since I last saw you and it's amazing. You're a rockstar babe!
If Sebastian or our future child is interested in music? Take them to Matt, he'll help them. If you need money there's a room inside our "personal room" you know what I'm talking lol but there's money left for you and the kids.
Amanda is taking care of the house and will as long as you'd like and Spencer is your guardian, take care of our little boy.
The guys are there to help whenever you need them, but Folio promised me he'd be right there for you. We both know how loyal he is, great guy.
Last but definitely not least
You beautiful angel
Your absolutely amazing baby girl!
I seriously can't tell you how much I cherish you. You eyes are so cute, even when you're angry their just too beautiful. Your lips are absolutely stunning, they always take the pain away even when it's physical. You're absolutely perfect, Ellie. You'll always be the one that got away, in the best way possible. My other half is safe with you and it's yours to keep.I know this sounds cheesy, but I want you to know how much I appreciate you Eleanor.
I won't forget you, us, or the kids.
I love you guys so much!Whenever you want to talk, please know I'm here. I know I physically can't hug, kiss, or even hold you anymore, but this letter is just for us.
You and IDon't do what I did when you left, you're too special for death. Suicide is an ugly subject, I should know all about it, but please promise me, Ellie that you won't give it up for me? I love you so much and I know I'm gonna miss you like crazy, but you have so much more to look forward to in the future. Sebastian is a great kid, stay for him and the baby. You'll know I'm there, you can't see me but I'll be there with you, just look at the sky.
I have so much more to say but this page won't allow me to, please know that there will never be enough words to describe how much I love you baby girl.
This isn't goodbye, it's till we meet again.....
Love you, beautiful queen forever!
-Noah
I didn't relize I was crying until I looked at the wood floors of Noah's bedroom. This letter was so beautiful and heartbreaking, but so powerful.
He must've written this a few months ago. I lie down in his bed, taking in his scent as tears stain my cheeks.
I look around at all his posters and music equipment on his desk. His passion was so strong and he really made the best of it. His talents became know to the world and he had a very loving family of fans worldwide. He's accomplished a lot for having such a sad life.Noah's past was the hardest part of his life, but he used it to make masterpieces and really touch many people with the same struggles. He was an amazing man, he always will be.
I finally find the strength to collect myself and slowly open the envelope.
As I slide my still shaking hands in, I feel photos, paper, and a tape. I first pull out are the papers and see it's for the house in Italy.You don't have to read all this, just wanted you to have proof.
The house is paid off. I was able to get the check. It's all yours babe, enjoy it.
A huge smile appears on my face.
He bought us the house in Italy. More tears fall from my face as I then pull out the photos.The pictures were from our first wedding. Noah and I smiling like two teenagers in love while holding hands. The second picture was taken by Nick, it was Noah, Sebastian, and I the day I got sober. They looked like twins, it was so sweet. Another smile and tears as I set the photo down.
Lastly was the tape. A piece of paper was taped to the tape reading
It's under my bed. Thought you might want this.
I slowly sit up and pull out the tape recorder underneath his bed, just like he instructed.I set it down in front of me on his bed and gently slide the tape inside. It loads as I cross my legs and try to remove the tears from my face.
The video starts playing and the first thing I see is Noah. He's standing in front of the camera smiling.
"Hey Ellie,
I hope you can get the chance to watch this someday. The reason I'm recording this is so we have something to remember. If you press the skip button, you'll see what I'm talking about.I get if you can't watch it yet, but when you do, I hope it makes you happy.
Anyhow it's here for you babe.Well, I love you and like you've heard before, it's not goodbye, it's till we meet again.
I love you, Eleanor..." he smiles before ending the recording. He looked so handsome in that clip. His chocolate curls sitting on the sides of his head as his beautiful tattoos show and his sweet eyes with an untold story, looking directly into the camera as if he were looking at you.
God I miss him so much.
I can't watch the rest of the recording.
My heart can't take anymore today.
I slowly sit up as there was a knock on Noah's door. "Yes?" I questioned sounding so emotional like my personal state right now. The door opens revealing Sebastian.We don't say anything, he just walks up to me and wraps his arms around me comfortingly. We just climb into Noah's bed and eventually fall asleep.
We both needed to suffer together in order to push forward together.
Everytime I look at my son, I see Noah. They look so much alike, it's so sad.I'm glad this tragic day is coming to an end....
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