Kingdom Of Cards chpt 4 N.S. story Bad Omens

Lithium

*SAD CHAPTER*
WE'LL HAVE A STEAMY CHAPTER SOON
PART 1
Eleanor's POV

Noah climbs above me and kisses me slowly. His lips were so soft as his tongue gently runs across my lower lip. My hands come to rest on his shoulders as he deepens the kiss.
"I'm so sorry " he whispers while pulling away. "Sorry for what? " I asked sitting up on my elbows.
"I'm just- I'm sorry, Eleanor " he says quickly getting out of bed. "Noah? " I watch as he puts some boxers on and goes to the closet to get a shirt. "Noah, what the hell just happened?" I get out of bed and put a gray robe on to confront Noah.

"Noah?" I call but he's racing around the room and has wide eyes. "Noah?" He doesn't say anything, he just walks back and forth at a quick pace.
"NOAH?" I yell loudly making him look at me and stopping. "What is going on? " I walk up to him and cup his face. "I'm hiding it with sex and I'm f*cking having withdrawals. Baby I'm so sorry. " he says as I gently rubbed his cheek. His face was burning up and he looked scared.
"Do we need to go to the hospital? "
He shakes his head. "If I pass out, don't freak out cause I feel like I'm about to" he says sitting down on the floor. "Noah, I'm calling, Will."
"Eleanor, please come here" he mumbles while lying all the way down on the floor. "Noah, I need to-
"Eleanor! Please " he raises his voice unintentionally. I know what he's going through and it's horrible. Nodding I crawl beside him as he pulls me into his chest and kisses my forehead. "I'm so sorry for everything, Eleanor." I cup his head and nod. "I know you are, Noah... Just fix this." I kiss his nose before we just lie there in silence and eventually fall asleep....

Noah's POV
I wake up probably two hours after Eleanor and I fell asleep on the bathroom floor. She was sound asleep still, so I carried her back to bed while I grabbed my hoodie along with my razor and a gift from my buddy Brian... a gun. I then head down to the basement. I needed to get some fresh air.

I sit down in the middle of the floor. My mind is racing with so many thoughts, memories, pain, doubts, and heartache. I'm here but I'm so broken. I'm lost and don't have a light to guide my way... I'm drowning and no one even sees it.

I feel horrible about myself. I feel filthy everytime I'm with Eleanor. It's not her at all, it's me. When we have sex now, I feel so wrong and disgusting. Why did I ever do this with the drugs? I hate myself for it. I've ruined everything and don't think I can fix it... at least not the way I want to. This all just really sucks.

I look down at the gun before wrapping my fingers around it. I just want some kind of relief, whether I'm dead or I'm alive. It really doesn't matter to me anymore.

I slowly raise the gun up and hold it to the center of my forehead. I didn't realize I was crying until my tears hit my lap. Slowly the water absorbs up. My hands are shaky but I think this is my time, I wanna be done. I put my finger on the trigger and take a deep breath in. This is it for me.

I pull the trigger but nothing shoots out from inside the barrel. Did I not pull it hard enough? I remove it from my forehead and look inside the barrel, what's the issue with this gun?
I don't think much of it and put it back up against my forehead. Once again, I pull and nothing comes out. Angrily I throw the gun, making it side across the concrete floor and just pull my legs up to my chest and cry.
I just want to die.

Lying on the cold floor letting my tears run down my face, I hear the basement door open up. I don't bother to look, instead I just lie motionless. "Dad? Dad are you ok?" I hear Sebastian call from a distance. I close my eyes and brings my hands up to my face. I'm such a horrible father to this sweet boy I'm blessed to have as my own. "Dad?" My eyes open again and I see Sebastian's slippers heading towards me with concern.
"Dad?" He was now kneeling beside me. "Buddy, I'm so sorry " whispered as he gently touches my shoulder.
"Dad, it's Okay. I'm not mad at you "
"It's not ok, Sebastian... you don't deserve this or me as a father. You deserve so much more. " I said quietly as he sits down next to me. "Well, I feel pretty lucky. My dad's a rockstar" he says with a smile. "Buddy" I whispered as a smile creeps up on my face. "Dad, I don't care about the other stuff, I just want you and mom happy. I don't know what's going on with you and her, but I really want you in my life. I love ya, Dad" I would like to say I'm not an emotional person, but this kid had me crying... Not from heartbreak but pure happiness.