Lost... (AOT Levi x Fem!Reader)

story before the beginning of the war

⚠️(A/N): ALL RIGHTS ARE TO "Running up that hill" by Kate Bush WHO IS A WONDERFUL SINGER ASWELL AS THE "Postmodern Jukebox" PEOPLE WHO MADE THIS COVER OF HER SONG!!!⚠️

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I lit the cigar Zeke gave me as I watched Eren and him speaking from afar but I didn't bother to listen in on their conversation since I know Eren will eventually rant about it later.

I then proceeded to tug at my uniform, The same uniform Zeke had me wear 3 years ago, while my cigar proceeded to kill me from the inside but I knew that it wouldn't actually kill me since I'm a titan shifter.

"Let's go." I heard Eren said as he walked with his crotches away from Zeke. I waved at the ape before tagging behind Eren with my cigarette still in my mouth.

"So, what did he say?" I asked.
"Nothing much, just normal stuff about the Rumbling." I frowned,"We're not seriously proceeding with the Rumbling, are we..?"

Eren stayed silent as we kept walking. I assumed that we had ran away so that we could find another way but... it seems we aren't. I knew the risks yet I still stayed with Eren, in hopes that the future could change.

"Since when do you smoke?" Eren's expression soured.

"Blame Zeke." I crushed the cigarette with the palm of my hand before lightly throwing it on the ground.

"For how long? Does Corporal Levi know?"

"Tch, hope not. I've been smoke back home behind closed doors and tried to keep it secret so..." I shrugged.

When we got home, I wanted to take a quick bath while Eren made us some dinner, so I grabbed my towel and Pajamas from my room before getting the bath ready. The room quickly steamed up while I undressed.

I slowly climbed into the bath while the bath filled up with warm water and I had started my bath routine. Eventually, finishing my bath I took it upon myself to just lay down in the bathtub for a bit. I looked up at the ceiling, thinking back at my time with Levi and how much I missed him.

Some time had passed and I didn't even notice I had fell asleep...

~Dream started~

The dark skinned boy behind Eren's back was slowly placed down,"Thanks!" I smiled at the kid but Eren's frowned deepened. The 19 year old grabbed the kid's shoulders and I heard crying,"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you crying?"

"To save the island... To save Eldia... But there's... more to this... The reality of the world outside the Walls was different from the world I dreamed of... It was different from the world I saw in Armin's book. When I learned humanity was alive outside the walls, I... was disappointed." My eyes widened as flashing memories that weren't mine, came into my view. The memories were that of war. Ugly, Ugly War,"I... wanted this... I wanted... to wipe everything away..." I fell to my knees and held my mouth, trying to keep my breathing steady but it was no use. I couldn't hold back my tears,"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"

The boy ran away without a second thought giving me the opportunity to grab Eren's shoulder,"Eren... no... We can still change this! This doesn't have to happen!"

"It has too! I can't change this!" Eren yelled back, still not facing me. Another memory of a baby in red flashed in my mind. I held my arms tightly as I started balling my eyes out,"This... this can't be real! We can't do this! I can't! They're innocent people..."