Lost... (AOT Levi x Fem!Reader)

why...

⚠️Warning: Death and suicidal thoughts and numbness (also blood) ⚠️

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We got back and headed towards HQ. Everyone was traumatized about what happened... And you... You were traumatized too but felt numb.

You wanted to die...

When you got to your cabin, you laid on your bed thinking only one thing... Your best friends...

°flashback°

We were surrounded by Titans. Our Captain shot a purple flare but we only got the same purple flare from all sides.

"This is bad" you thought while you slid a Titans nape.

You looked over at your friends and saw that they had successfully killed some Titans. We all then heard a scream. It was our Captain. Two of his comrades tried to get there fast but were only met with their deaths.

Lilith then went towards the Titan and killed it. I yelled at my friends,"BE CAREFUL! WE ARE SURROUNDED! LET'S GO!"

Everyone nodded and got their horses. We rode away from the place our squad was killed and tried to not look back. The weather than changed. It was now staring to rain. The sky was only surrounded with dark clouds and light/soft rain.

Suddenly, a Titan arm grabbed (F/n). She yelled from the pain and (O/f/n) went towards the Titan but was also grabbed by another Titan.

"(F/N)!!! (O/F/N)!!!!!!" you yelled and took out your blades. You sliced the Titan's hands and grabbed (f/n). You then sliced the other Titan. You were going so fast that people would probably say that you were as fast as lightning.

You had (f/n) on your back and (o/f/n) in your hands ,holding her bridal style. Lilith took (o/f/n) on her horse and you were on your horse with (f/n).

You took out a purple flare and shot it but was only received with another purple flare. You and Lilith rode with your horses towards the other group but when you got there no one was in sight only Titans, yelling and blood.

"Fuck!" you yelled,"Let's get out of here!"

But just as you said that, your horse tripped over a dead body making you and (f/n) fall to the ground.

"(Y/n)! (F/n)!" Lilith yelled. She rode towards us but was suddenly grabbed by a Titan. The Titan had Lilith and (o/f/n) in one hand, squashing them dangerously tightly. Lilith yelling in pain but the Titan took its other hand and snapped them in half.

You frozen.

Tears streamed down your cheeks already. You tried to stand but your legs gave up on you. You tried again but was send with full on pain. You looked at your legs only seeing blood on one and the other with a twisted ankle.

"No... Please..." You whispered. You looked back at your friends only to see that the Titan was eating them.

You yelled and grabbed your blades. You flew with your 3DMG toward the Titan and slid its head right off. You looked back at (f/n) only to find she wasn't there.

"FUCK!" You yelled.

You looked around but couldn't find her but then saw her head... Her eyes were lifeless...

"No... No... NONONONONONO!!!" You took out new blades and slid every Titan in sight.

Every Titan was being slaughtered by only you and you alone. You yelled out from the pain, The emotional and physical pain.

Each Titan had cuts all over but each time you left the nape for last. Hoping to make them feel the pain you were going through right now.

After every Titan in sight was dead, your legs gave up on you while you were out of breath. You didn't even realize that you did all this while in heavy rain and now the rain was starting to clear up.

You were soaked in blood and rain.

You then heard a horse coming toward you. You didn't want to look up.

"Hey are you okay? Where is your squad?" A girl asked.

You didn't answer her but only started crying uncontrollable,"M-my s-squad i-is... dead t-they'r-re... g-gone..." After you said that your crying stopped. You felt numb...

You whistled for your horse and got on it while some tears were still going down, you wiped them away. The girl just stood there looking at your unexpressive face.

"Where the hell is your squad?" You asked.

"They're... they're gone too.." she said.

"... Come on, we have to go. Don't want to stay here any longer." You said, more liked order.

You and she rode your horses while silence passed by but then was met with another group. Two boys and one girl.

"Where's your squad?!" A boy with dirty blonde hair asked/yelled.

"Where is yours?" You asked with a unexpressive face.

"We lost our Captain and second in command.

You clicked your tongue," Come with us if you want to live."

"Huh?! Why should we follow you? You look like a rookie!" The same guy yelled.

"Do you have a better idea? The expedition isn't over. We have to go on. If you want to follow your own instincts, than fine by me. Don't forget I offered, It's your death wish." You said coldly.

"I'm following you!" The girl from earlier yelled.

The other girl and guy nodded their heads,"We too."

"Huh?! Ugh... Tsk, fine!"

After that they all rode their horses following you. The only sounds you all could hear was the running of the horses. The silence was then broke by a blue flare that was shot by the Commander.

"Look! A blue flare! We can retreat!" The other girl yelled.

"Okay let's get out of here then." You order.

Hours has passed, you and the other people were now almost at the gates, when 3 Titans came out of nowhere and grabbed the people that were with you. As fast as you could you sliced the hands of the Titans and then their nape.

They all got back on their horses and rode off with you in front. "Thank you" the girl that found you earlier said.

You nodded and kept on riding.
Eventually the scout were now all together and ready to finally get out of this hell.

°flashback end°

You started crying uncontrollable and held your pillow tightly. You wanted to hold it so tightly hoping you would fall asleep before you fall apart. You fell asleep forgetting the world and what Happened, not even caring if you missed dinner, before you vowed to yourself that you didn't want to feel anything anymore...

All you wanted was your best friends by your side...