You wish for something you didn't know would actually come true but it did!
You and your two best friends find yourselves in the Attack On Titan show but what you didn't know was that you would regret your wish for the rest of your life...
Now you...
After a few minutes of admiring the comfy scarf and beautiful necklace, I got up and put the boxes underneath my bed. The teddy I sat on my bed.
I looked inside my heart locket once again and kissed the picture of my friends. I sat the necklace back down on my neck/collarbone/chest and walked out of my cabin with an unexpressive face.
The vow I made for myself last night will stand. I won't feel or express emotions to anyone. I've hid my pain away once I can do it again... Only this time it will be permanent.
I got to the cafeteria and saw a few cadets eating breakfast. There wasn't much ruckus only quiet talking or whispering. I got my breakfast which was soup and bread with a steamed potato on the side. The usual.
I sat down on an empty table which wasn't far from a window. "Guess I'm looking out the window today..." I thought.
I ate my breakfast in silence while only thinking one thing... My friends... The good times and the bad...
After breakfast I go up and made my way out the door. As I was walking to gosh knows where, someone called my name,"Cadet (y/n) (l/n), the Commander wants to see you."
I nodded and made my way towards the Commander's office. I knocked and in response I got a,"Name and Business"
"Cadet (y/n) (l/n) sir. You wanted to see me."
"Come in"
I walked in and saw Commander Keith Shardis writing something down on a piece of paper while drinking a cup of tea in his other hand.
"(Y/n), I've asked for you today to asked you a few questions..."
I sat down, nodded and waited for him to go on.
"One of the cadets came in there yesterday to report to me that their entire squad died but just in a flash of hope, as she said it, she found a cadet on the ground a few meters away from her destination with blood and rainwater on her face and saw that the one girl took out an entire group of Titans without anyone around. She never got the name of that girl but said she had (l/h) (c/h) hair and (c/e) eyes. Now, some of the cadets have that same description but none was all on their own. Most were in a squad or with at least one person. Is that cadet you?"
"Yes sir.... My entire squad was killed and in a fit of rage I killed them all without a second thought. The girl found me right after and asked where my squad was. I cried...uncontrollable before saying my squad is die... My comrades are gone..." I said without showing emotion but paused a few times on what I was saying.
The Commander nodded,"She then said you got up and got on your horse. You both rode for a few minutes before running into a half squad. They asked where your squad was and you said,"where is yours?" Afterwards you and a boy with dirty blonde hair fought for a while you said,"Do you have a better idea? The-"
"The expedition isn't over. We have to go on. If you want to follow your own instincts, then fine by me. Don't forget I offered, It's your death wish." I cut the Commander off.
"... Yes, afterwards they followed you until I shot the retreat flare. We almost got back but the people who were with you got caught and in a flash you killed the Titans."
"That is correct, sir."
"You led another cadet, a half squad and killed at least 17 Titans. Why?"
I was silent for a moment,"Honesty Commander.... I don't know. I gave them a choice to live or die and they choose to live. I lead them for gosh knows why but in that moment I only thought 3 things.... Get them out, kill every Titan and my squad..."
"Why's that, cadet?"
"I'd rather have people live than die unnecessarily for their dump stupidity; and I wanted to Kill every Titan for revenge."
"Why?"
"Because they killed 3 of my best friends plus my squad. I love my best friends and my squad, and in that moment I wanted revenge. Even if it got me killed. I would at least be with my family... Nothing matter anymore than save lives I could save and then get eaten by Titans than not save lives and get them killed too."
We sat in silence for a moment before then Commander nodded to himself,"Right... Cadet (Y/n) (L/n). I'm assigning you to the squad you saved plus that other girl that came into my office yesterday. I haven't seen your Titan kills but at least I know that you'd put your life on the line to save others."
My eyes widened,"B-but sir-"
"But nothing cadet. I know you came first in the top ten and I've seen your leadership skills. You're perfect for the job. If you think you can't then explain to me why and why you didn't just kill yourself instead of saving their lives."
I stayed quiet for a moment before I said,"Because I lost my best friends... I Couldn't protect them... How could I protect them if I can't even protect my family?"
"Mmm....how? Well... You could start by giving it a chance. Every leader tries to protect their comrades but only the moment; only life can decide their fate. You've done the best you could. You've tried to protect but ask yourself this,"Would you rather protect the people your family wanted you to protect or not protect people who might be the hope for Humanity."
If you begin to regret, you'll dull your future decisions and let others make your choices for you. All that's left for you then is to die. Nobody can foretell the outcome. Each decision you make holds meaning only by affecting your next decision. Only you can decide.
Great leaders don't set out to be a leader... They set out to make a difference. It's never about the role. Always about the goal.
A true leader has the confidence to stand alone, the courage to make tough decision, and the compassion to listen to needs of others. He does not set out to be a leader, but becomes one by equality of his actions and the integrity of his intent.
Do it for them..."
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And in that moment I felt it. The feeling of wanting to protect others, the feeling of doing it for them. My reason to stay alive. To protect. To lead. I've always had a reason to live, mostly it was for my family but now their gone... But now that I think about it, I'm still doing this for them. I'm always going to do it for them. Anything for them.
I made a promise after all,"I'll protect them, promise. No matter what I'll protect them with my life. Always and forever."
