i'm right where you left me

28

the next day, i woke up in leah's arms.

"morning pretty" she said kissing my lips.

"morning babe" i said.

"last game before Christmas break. you sure your up to come down" leah asked.

"always baby" i said.

we both got up and got ready. we went down and had breakfast and sat.

"how are you feeling?" she asked.

"i'm not sure. i'm physically doing alright. no pain or anything but it's just i don't know. all this shit going on in my head" i said.

"i'm just a bit unsure if not getting the abortion was a right choice. maybe i'm not ready for a child. or it might be just the way he or she was conceived. i don't know" i said.

"baby, there's still time if you don't want to keep it. but just know, you would be an absolutely amazing mum. i've seen you with kids before and your incredible. i want to have kids with you. if you don't think your ready then we can wait for the future but i think we could do a pretty damn good job raising a kid now" she said.

"i'm just worried. what if i mess up?" i said.

"you won't. i'm here baby. every step of the way" she said.

"thanks leah. i love you" i said.

"i love you more" she said and kissed my head.

leah forced me to layer up a lot. tshirt, hoodie, big puffy coat, beanie and a scarf.

"leah im fucking sweating here" i said.

"it's winter. i don't want you and our baby to freeze" she said.

we left and leah drove us to the training centre. we got on the coach and drove there. it's an away game at everton.

beth came and sat with me and leah.

"so izzy, we can't wait for you to be back" beth said. "should be just after christmas right?"

"erm no" i said. "it's going to be a lot longer than that"

"why? has something happened with your rib?" she asked.

"not exactly" i said.

"i don't understand? am i just being slow?" she asked.

"no beth" i laughed.

"i just uhh. i don't know if i can tell anyone yet" i said.

"does leah know" she asked.

"yeah" i said. "but my mum doesn't so i need to tell her first"

"i understand" she said.

a little while into the trip i started getting really warm.

i took off the beanie, scarf and my coat.

"what are you doing" leah asked.

"i'm roasting le. you've got me burning up" i said.

beth laughed.

"sorry that i don't want you to get cold" she said.

"baby ill put it back on when we get off the coach. it's just really hot in here" i said.

i could tell beth was itching to know.

it was around an hour and a half into the 3 and a half hour journey.

"please tell me" beth blurted out.

me and leah burst out laughing.

"i would beth but you can't keep a secret to save your life" i teased.