i'm right where you left me

42

it's the next year (april 2021) and the lockdown rules have been lifted.

henry is now 1 (22 months to be exact) and we're back to playing football. we've put him in a nursery but he doesn't really seem to like it.

leah's pov

i got henry out of his car seat and grabbed his bag and took him inside.

i put his bag on his peg that has his name on it and took him inside the play room.

"hiya debbie" i said as i walked in.

"hi leah, no izzy today?" she asked.

"no we have a day off so she's having a lie in" i said.

"ahh okay" she said.

"henry baby, mummy loves you. i'll be back to pick you up later. be a good boy" i said to him.

"give mummy kiss" i said and tapped my cheek.

he leaned his face forward and put his open mouth on my cheek.

not a proper kiss but at this stage i'll take it.

i put him down on the floor with some big blocks.

i stepped away and he began to cry.

i hate this part.

i hate leaving him.

"mummy" he cried while trying to crawl towards me.

"baby you know i hate leaving you" i said and picked him up again.

i gave him his dummy and waited for him to stop crying.

"hi leah" lizzy said.

"hi lizzy. hi miles buddy" i said.

me and iz have got to know lizzy. she's one of the mums that goes here and she's two years older than us, so 26. her son miles and henry are a month apart.

"look baby, it's miles. do you want to play" i said trying to put him down again.

he cried again.

for fucks sake.

he makes it so hard for me. when he cries like this it makes me want to just take him home and cuddle him in my arms. i hate when he's sad.

i sat down and put henry on the floor next to me, kissing his head.

i grabbed a big car and rolled it towards him.

miles crawled over to him and they started playing with some blocks together.

and that is my cue to leave.

i got up and crept away so henry wouldn't notice.

"i'll see you later debbie. i managed to get him settled for now" i said.

"thank you leah. i'll see you later" she said.

i walked out with lizzy.

"thank god for miles" i laughed.

"you know sometimes it's best to just leave them to cry. that's what i did with my first" she said.

"i cant. it breaks my heart to see him sad" she said.

"i get it. he's your first and your protective of him. it shows just how much you love him but sometimes it's best to let them figure it out on their own" she said. i nodded. i don't think i could do that.

i've grown so attached to him during the lockdown that i struggle being away from him for so long.

the first week we left him here, i rang up to check on him every 30 minutes.