Expression of My Love

Translations

*Hyunjin POV*

We are doing a video segment that I really enjoy today, 2 kids room. I always like hanging out with the other members when there is not a bunch going on. I tend to get overwhelmed by the regular chaos of group videos. I am first in the room of course, usually am. I wonder who it will be. I turn to look at the board for clues when I hear the door open.. "Ah yongbok" I say with the biggest smile on my face. I always tease Felix with his Korean name because he doesn't like it. He believes that it is just easier for me to say which is true, but I also just love saying it. Felix has the brightest smile. He really is just a ray of sunshine that can brighten up any darkest days for those he is close with.

*Felix POV*
I am scheduled to do this new segment that seems pretty chill. I really wonder who it may be, but whoever it is I think it will be fun, plus I am feeling pretty cute today if I do say so myself. I take a deep breath before I open the door. When I see who it is I can't help but smile. It is Hyunjin, looking handsome as always. Even in casual clothes his presence and visuals dress up any look. He greets me with "yongbok". Ugh that is my Korean name and I am not used to hearing it. In australia it was always Felix but I don't know.... when Hyunjin says it it makes me feel warm inside. He is usually playful when he uses Felix but Yongbok just sounds so warm and inviting with him.

I walk over to the couch and happily greet Hyunjin. We talked about the rings that I got from him. It was such a nice gift. We do have that in common, I always try to put a lot of thought into gifts, especially with it comes to Hyunjin. He is just such a special person and I feel differently about him than the others. Not sure in what way....

*Hyunjin POV*

I really enjoy hanging out with Felix. He really makes it easy for me to be myself and express my more personal side, I don't feel like I need to put on a show as much, he just gets me. He has been teaching me english. I am definitely much better at understanding it than speaking it but with Felix I want to speak english. When he first became a trainee he didn't know any korean and it must have felt so isolating. I want to give him a bit of home and I just like learning it, especially with that Aussie accent that is so adorable.

Another reason why I like engl8sh so much, especially with Felix, is because I don't struggle to find the words. Its really unexpected, you would think that expressing yourself in your own language would be easier but I am really able to remove my usual masking of vulnerability when I speak with Felix in english.

I reflected on the times we used to talk in english, it was a really hard time for me but talking to Felix just really helped me. He is a great listener. But also a very affectionate person which I really am not. Or used to be anyway. I feel so close to the band mates that it has helped me be a bit more comfortable, but with Felix he really is just so "soft and fluffy" that he is hard to resist.

*Felix POV*

Hyunjin just mentioned our english talks... man we haven't had those in a while. I really see a different side of Hyunjin when we speak in english. Almost like he opens up or thinks more deeply. And his english accent is really adorable so he is not bad to look at and listen to when he speaks english. I suggested that we have one of those talks here.

I don't know if it was because of the camera but he got very shy about it. Almost flustered. He asked if I could go first and I am happy to give some encouragement. I start to share my feelinge toward him, "I really do feel like against all odds we work well together. We are very different and have really had our struggles but what makes us so close is that we always try to understand and take care of eachother. That is something so special that I am so glad we have." I suddenly start to word vomit but it feels right "my feelings toward you are so deep that sometimes I have to take a pause and just breathe, because I can very quickly get too serious about you." Omg what am I doing...? Here I go, getting too serious again. "I feel like when I think about you I have another reason to live, because I would have become who I am now without you." The entire time I was speaking I just got lost in his face. Ugh I hope I did not freak him out, I tried to look for a reaction but knowing Hyunjin , even my slow talking would take him a bit to process and he was just faced forward with a grape to his mouth. Is he freaked out and that is why he is not reacting... oh.... *sigh*

*Hyunjin POV*

Wow... he really has a way with words. I know he is waiting for a response, thing about Felix, he is not great at hiding his feelings. Now to think of the words.... "I feel like I should have tried harder with you, knowing where we are now I wish I would have embraced your affection more. But you are the heart of this friendship and for that I am very thankful". Ugh that's all I can say. I feel so nervous and vulnerable. I am struggleing to snap out of the trans I was placed. He sure does have a way with words and that voice, with that accent, I feel very exposed with the cameras.. I really hope I did not look entrapped.

"That got deep" I find myself saying... out loud...