Expression of My Love

Explanations

*Felix POV*

Loosing my footing caused me to drop, stopping inches away from Hyunjin's face. I started to blush looking into his pretty brown eyes. Suddenly Hyunjin moved closer and kissed me. My heart actually stopped for a second. His lips felt so soft and so warm, I almost got lost in it, realizing what was happening I pulled away from him. Absolutely red in the face and eyes wide open. I was definitely not expecting that to happen.

"Uhm.." I said while touching my lip. Sounds super cliche I know but i could still feel it tingling. Hyunjin got up off of I.N's lap and started walking away.

"Wait .. where is he going.. what's up with him?" I.N asked, having missed the kiss too entranced by the game the others were playing.

"Oh no... Hyunjin..." i said, utterly defeated and feeling like an asshole. I got up off the ground and ran after him. Leaving I.N on the ground clueless.

Did that just happen..? Why didn't I say something like an idiot. This is Hyunjin, the person who I always just gravitate toward. I know I love him but that kiss... it felt like straight out of a movie. It felt so comfortable, so familiar. Does this mean he likes me? Does he see me as more than a friend or did he simply get caught up in a moment? A million things were running through my head but one thing above all, I have to find Hyunjin and talk about this.

*Hyunjin POV*

What did I just do! Ugh. I hate feeling this way. I am usually a confident person and I know that I am a huge flirt, I could have easily explained it away as a joke. But I couldn't have. I know I meant that kiss, even if it was not planned. To try to play it off as a joke when its real is not something I can do.

I reached the end of the park near a big tree to catch my breath.

"What an idiot!" I tell myself as I punch the tree with my fists, breaking the skin and causing it to bleed. I slide down to the ground and bury my head in my knees, hoping this is just a dream and that I did not just clearly ruin the relationship with the best person I have ever known. I can feel a tear fighting to come out.

"Hyunjin...?" I know that voice immediately. Its the one person I want to see right now but the last person I need to see me like this.

"Look Yongbokie, im sorry about what just happened... but please go" I said, my head still tucked into my knees.

I heard a sigh coming from Felix and suddenly felt a warm hand gently placed under my chin and lifting up my face to look at Felix.

"No, I'm not leaving you like this. Especially with cuts on your hand. We need to talk about this." He said gently stroking around the cuts on my hand and taking off his bandana to wipe off the blood.

I always loved that Felix did not let conflict linger. Although I need space when I am mad, with Felix its just different. Whenever I am mad I want to be near him. His presence always made me feel calm. Except for right now.

I took in a deep breath and looked at him, Felix took a seat in front of me and put his hands under mine on my knees.

I go to talk but I can't seem to find the words to say.

"You don't have to explain or give me an answer as to why, just tell me 2 things: 1. Was that just a joke.... or for real? 2. What do you need right now?" He says, in a soft voice and a concerned look on his face. He gave my hands a gentle squeeze, making sure not to disturb the cuts on my hand.

"...I just need for things to be ok between us. Like I did not fuck up our friendship." I respond, feeling my eyes water and trying to stop the tears.

"Ok that's an easy request. You know I love you, I would never let something come between us.... that was only one thing. What about the other?" He said, with a more persistant tone of voice. I can't believe he is going to make me say this. I start to clench my fist.

"Of course it was real Felix, if it was a joke I would have just laughed it off. But I can't pretend that it wasn't real. I like you okay..."
I look away from his face not wanting to see the look of rejection or pitty that could be awaiting me. I felt a tear escape my eyes.

Felix pulled his small hands from under mine. Oh great, he is about to give me the friendzone speech, if we can even go back to how we were in the first place. Felix moved away from me and I was sure he was leaving not knowing what to say. Felix sat down next to me and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me and placing his chin on my shoulders. I feel myself blushing with the proximity of his face to mine.