Expression of My Love

Project Parent Trap Part 2

*Hyunjin POV*

I woke up with a headache that was pounding. I don't even remember falling asleep last night. You would think you would feel better after sleeping but I guess not.

I begrudgingly grab some clothes and wash my face.
I grab what I need for dance in my bag and head to the kitchen for some breakfast.

I see Felix sitting at the table.. I want to go back in my room but I have been so miserable and hiding. Its time to man up and just face it. Avoiding is not going to make it any easier in the long run.

Felix turned and smiled at me. I still love that smile, it always warms up my heart. Even now I can't help but smile back and feel some comfort in it.

"Good morning" he says in a tiny voice. It's really cute.

"Morning" I respond but still groggy. I immediately make my way to my target, the coffee maker. I see that a pot is already made.

"I made some coffee, I know it's your favorite..." Felix's voice was soft and insecure of his actions.

"Thanks." I smile softly at him and make myself a cup. I rummage through the fridge finding an apple and a protein bar. It's not much but it's all I can stomach right now.

"That's all you're go-.." his voice trailed off. I looked at him confused.

"Nevermind. Have a good practice. There is a bowl of watermelon in the fridge. Take it with you as a snack." he gave me one last smile before getting up and walking back toward his room.

'What was that all about?' I shrug it off and make my way to the door.

'It was really sweet of him to make coffee, I know he doesn't drink it, and it was my favorite.' The small action made my heart happy.

'Maybe things will be ok eventually'.

*Felix POV*

I couldn't get the words Minho said out of my head. He was right. I don't want to aim to get back to how we were. My heart hurt so bad without
Hyunjin to call mine but I would not trade the memories of us laughing, of us cuddling, of being able to wake up to him, of making love to him. I wouldn't trade that experience of love for any pain that could be taken away. I do want him back in my life though. I miss him so much. Im ready to try to get to a friendship level again.

I was the first awake so I got up and went to the kitchen. Hyunjin's shoes were still by the door so he hadn't left for the studio yet. I walk to the counter and set the coffee maker to run with his favorite coffee.

I know he hasn't been eating much lately but he needs to eat enough for his body to go on like this. I cut up some watermelon, I remember that's his favorite snack when he dances. He says "it's the hydration sugar bomb". Provides some quick energy and much needed water. I pour myself an orange juice and sit at the table to drink it.

I hear a door closing behind me and turn around to see Hyunjin coming out of his room, ready for practice as always.

"Good morning" I smile. One of the first genuine ones I have been able to give in a long time.

"Morning" he smiled more softly, but it is more natural than ones he has been giving lately. Maybe we are finally getting somewhere.

"You made coffee..?" He asks surprised. Not turning to look in my direction.

"Yeah. It's your favorite" this time he did look back and gave me a smile again with a thanks.

He reaches for a protein bar and an apple. "That's all you're go-" I have to stop myself, reminding myself that it is not my business to comment on his eating habbits, even though I am concerned.

"Have a good practice" is all I was able to get out. "Oh there is some watermelon in the frigde, take it, I wont take no for an answer" he smiled at me and just nodded.

"Thanks" Hyunjin went to the door and left. I could take a deep breath finally and let myself process one of the first interactions we have had since the split. It was so familiar and so bittersweet. I miss him so much, I just know that I can't force him to forgive me.

*Over at the studios in Hyunjin POV*

This dance is truly something else. Super precise moments and a lot of quick controlled ones. Its almost 11:30 so I should pack up my things and get ready for Changbin to get me. He typically doesn't do singing projects but im kind of excited to see it. I am in a better mood today and felt like I was really getting somewhere with the choreo.

"Dude that is going to be so cool!" I heard a voice say. Changbin appeared from behind the corner of the room.

"You scared me man!" I clutch my chest. Still not myself to the point of my usual dramatic antics but there is hope.

"Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you. I'm serious though. Its so cool, and those precise hits are impressive." He gives me a smile and waits for me to grab my things.

"After you." He says gentlemanly while opening up the door for me. He laughs and it makes me smile some.

Changbin looked down at his phone and smiled.

"I need to stop by Chan's studio room. Is that ok?" I nod my head. As soon as we reach the room and the door opens I hear a voice. A voice that my body just knows, one that gives me butterflies no matter what its saying.

Changbin looks at me, seeing the hesitation I'm feeling and drags me into the room. "Just listen" he tells me before sitting down next to Chan. Felix was singing, his eyes were closed and you could see that he was in another world.

I am sinking in the deep end I,
Just try to cry myself to sleep,
Please stop this pain,
If you hadn't changed,
Then I'd still be by your side if I,
Give you one more chance,
Can we go back again.

Honestly, without you in my life,
Deep inside I never felt alive.

My mouth dropped at the words. Felix had a tear running down his face. I could not hold back a tear. The emotions were so raw, so present.

"H-hyunjin what are you doing here?!" I was snapped out if my head by Felix. His cheeks were tear stained and his eyes were red. He didn't look mad, he looked surprised mixed with sad and a little mad but not angry.

He opened the door and left. Giving Changbin and Chan a look of betrayal before slamming the door behind him.

I looked at them in disbelief. "What are you waiting for idiot, go after him!" Changbin yelled.

"He clearly did not want to see me! Why don't you go after him!" I yell back. Hurt by Felix's reaction to me hearing the song.

Chan got in between Changbin and I, holding both of our chests to stop a fight. "Hyunjin, you need to go to Felix. You are the only person that can help him right now. And you know he is the only person that can help you."

I stood silently for a minute. Chan was right, I can't go on like this. And that song, those words. I knew it was me the song was about. Normally I would be flattered but now I am just ashamed. The pain that I caused.

"Hyunjin.. GO!" Chan yelled one more time. I nod my head and run out the door. Desperately looking for the man I love and would do anything for. No more hiding.