Random Oneshots

RPF) Out-of-Pocket (P.M.)

Out-of-Pocket (Joesep Maria "Pepe" Marti X Reader)

Fandom: RFP/Formula 2/3

Requested: Yee by @zeptosis (ily platonically)

Warnings: none

Summary: Out-of-pocket grid walks and podcasts

W.C. 869

~~

The first race of the season was one for the books. The energy was high, the excitement was through the roof, and all of the drivers were ready to get back to racing. As someone with a moto racing podcast, you were having a blast in the paddock. The plan was you were going to do a Martin Brundle-style grid walk, asking random questions to whatever drivers you could find.

"Jak!" You shouted, running up to your American friend who was walking with Ollie and Kimi. "Can I ask you guys questions for the pod?"

"Don't say tyre deg," Jak joked as the other two nodded.

"That's a tequila shot, Jak," You laughed. "Anyway, I don't have any on me so, Jak, hypothetically speaking, what would you do if you found a dead body in your hotel room?"

"That's so random, but I would call my team, I guess?" Jak responded, confused about where the question came from.

"Good to hear you trust your team, sounds like you guys will have a good year," You stated. "Does this mean you are getting along well with your new team?"

"Yeah, I love the team, and I think we're gonna do well this year," Jak beamed.

"Thank you, Jak. Now, Ollie," You moved the microphone over to Ollie, "You hit me as the type of guy who needs beauty sleep."

"Where is this going?" He laughed.

"Why is it called 'beauty sleep' if you wake up looking like a hot mess? I've seen the LAP videos, and you don't look very beautiful when you wake up," You teased him.

"Oh you're one to talk," He gasped in disbelief, "As if anyone in your opinion looks good waking up unless they're Pepe!"

"Hey, no need to call me out in my own podcast here!" You jokingly scolded. "I ask the questions. Now, why is it called 'beauty sleep' if you wake up looking like a hot mess? I need to know."

"Maybe it's not about physical beauty and more about mental beauty," Ollie quipped. "Ever think of that?"

"No, I did not Aristotle," You replied sarcastically. "Thank you for bestowing your great mind upon us, oh great one."

"With pleasure," Ollie jokingly bowed as he left to follow Jak.

"Kimi! The new man on the block! Tell me, how many pennies do you think would fit in your car?"

"At least five," Kimi answered immediately and seriously.

"Fair point, thank you," You replied just as seriously as you moved on to your next target, running after him. "Dennis, do fish drown?"

"NO!" He shouted, started by your sudden appearance. "No, I looked this up and drowning is inhaling water. Fish breathe water, so unless they stop moving and water blocks their gills, they can't drown, but they can suffocate on water."

"Damn, thanks Bill Nye the science guy," You said sarcastically as you moved on, beelining for one of your favorite F3 drivers to ask questions to. "Sebastian Montoya, I have a question for you."

"I love these," he said to himself before leaning into the microphone and shouting, "Hi Pod!"

"Don't! I'm the star here," You joked. "Anyway, if you punch yourself in the face and it hurts, are you weak or strong?"

"Neither, you're gullible," He answered.

"Oh, that's a dollar word, look at you go!" You chuckled as you moved on once again. This time you ran into a world champion. "Fernando! My favorite Spanish driver!" You shouted as you ran over to him but not before whispering into the mike, "Lies, Pepe is my favorite."

"We all know Pepe is you're favorite, no need to flatter me," He laughed.

"Well, at least we're all on the same page," You dismissed. "In your opinion, what is the worst mode of transportation?"

"Roller skates," He said after a moment. "The ones with the wheels in a line."

"What do you have against roller blades, Nando?" You chuckled, genuinely curious.

"I just never learned how to ride them," He laughed.

"Fair enough, thank you!" You said as you heard back to the Campos garage, knowing Pepe was probably finished with his interview by now. You saw him sitting on the couch in the driver's room that he shares with Isack, scrolling through his phone. "And here we find the friend of the show, Pepe, in his natural habitat; hiding from everyone."

"You do know I can hear you," He chuckled, not even looking up from his phone.

"Oh shit, I thought he was deaf," You whispered into the microphone, but still loud enough for him to hear. You moved into the room and sat beside him, leaning into his side. "I have a real question for you."

"Something tells me it's not a real question, but go on."

"How does it feel to be in a relationship with the most out-of-pocket moto racing podcaster on the planet?"

"Wouldn't change it for the world," He replied as he placed a small kiss on the top of your head. "You should talk to Clement to get on Screaming Meals. I bet that would be the most chaotic episode ever."

"Don't give me any more ideas," You groaned. "Also, I'm trying. James said no."

~~~~~

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