Cat Got Your Tongue

21- Ice Cracking

"Y/N?" You looked up from the book you were reading to Namjoon who was gazing at you curiously. You were sitting next to him, propped up against one of the mirrors in Jimin's classroom as you read a book from one of Yoongi's shelves. It was currently a break in between Jimin's classes.

Hoseok had insisted that you come with him up here. Yoongi had meetings and classes all day today. This was a day you would normally go with Jungkook to the day program and that was depressing. All you wanted to do was lay on the couch in Yoongi's office and sleep, but Hoseok had been persistent.

"Can I ask you a question? And you don't have to answer if you don't want to!" Namjoon gave you a dimpled smile. When someone said 'you don't have to answer' it usually meant that they shouldn't be asking the question in the first place. You didn't want to answer any questions, but you didn't want to be rude either. So you nodded your assent.

"I hope you don't take any offense at this, but how do you read so well? You have no trouble reading books like that and your vocabulary is surprisingly extensive. It wasn't something that I expected."

"My... old owner, he liked me to read to him," You said slowly. Talking about your past made you feel like you were walking out on a frozen lake in early spring, you were worried the ice might crack at any time and plunge you into the life stealing, glacial water.

"That's nice," Namjoon smiled, "Did you like him as an owner?"

"Yes..." You liked him well enough, it was his son that was a fucking monster!

"How long was he your owner?" You imagined hearing the loud, crunching crack of ice breaking.

"You told him didn't you? You remember what I told you would happen if you told him?"

You shut that memory down by snapping your book closed. Namjoon jumped slightly at the loud sound.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," You announced. Namjoon bobbed his head apologetically.

"Sorry, no more questions!" There was an awkward silence, well awkward for you, Namjoon was smiling as he watched Hoseok and Jimin dance. You didn't want that to be the end of your conversation though, you wanted Namjoon to talk with you more. Your opinion of him had changed quite quickly, he was smart but also humble and down to earth. You were beginning to value his company. You cleared your throat.

"When did Jimin adopt you?" You asked. Namjoon grinned and tugged at one of his long tufted ears.

"Ah, it's been seven or eight years now. Jimin's the best!" You were about to reply when your memory interrupted.

"I'm going to need to punish you, get on your knees and hold out your wrists."

You jumped to your feet. Namjoon was staring at you, but you had also drawn the attention of Jimin and Hoseok.

"Bunny ears, bunny ears, playing by a tree. Criss-crossed the tree, trying to catch me."

You could feel the rope burns of the past like they had been burned into your wrists permanently.

"I've got to go to the bathroom!" You shouted as you bolted from the room. You didn't go to the bathroom, you ran to Yoongi's office and locked yourself in. Maybe it was your cat hybrid genes that prompted you to curl up under his desk, but you liked the smaller space, it felt like a barrier against the memories that were threatening to come out.

Fuck him! Fuck him! He wasn't here! He didn't have power over you anymore! Fuck him!

You let the quiet settle in as the memory was stored away. You didn't feel good, you felt like shit actually. You felt used and grimy and you didn't like that feeling. When you got home you were going to take a really long shower. Did Yoongi have a tub in his room? Would he let you take a bath?