Cat Got Your Tongue

25- The Beginning of the End

Your conversation with Jungkook earlier had been a relief. You didn't tell him what happened with Hoseok, but you could tell that he suspected something. But his voice was all you needed to hear. The longer Jungkook was gone, the more anxious and unnerved you felt. Everything about him was fading into a dreamlike state. You were still thinking about him hours later as you were lying in bed facing the wall with your back to the room.

Hoseok was moving around in the room, getting ready for bed, you assumed. He turned off the lights and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Can you take a shower before you come to bed?" You asked stiffly as Taehyung's scent filled your nose. Hoseok sighed behind you.

"Y/N, you're going to have to get used to it, he's going to keep scenting me." He proceeded to lay down on the bed next to you and tentatively rubbed your shoulder. You shot away from his touch like it was the epicenter of nerve crippling disease.

"I'll sleep on the couch then." You climbed over him and violently shook his hand from your wrist when he tried to pull you back.

"Y/N, come back to bed!" His tired frustration almost had you choking.

"I can't sleep with his scent right there!" You gestured to the bed with an irritated flick of your hands. Hoseok sat up, swinging his legs to face you, his face set in an angry scowl.

"How do you think I feel? You constantly smell like Yoongi!" He jabbed an accusing finger in your direction, "Every time I'm near you, it's practically oozing off you! He may not have scented you, but it's just as strong. Do I ever say anything? No! No, I don't because I know it makes you happy! Why can't you be happy for me Y/N?"

Your revealed hypocrisy made you physically sick. You felt dizzy and grabbed the door knob to keep you steady.

"So then," You swallowed against the desert tongue that was swelling in your mouth, "Sleeping separately will probably be preferable for both of us."

You opened the door and shut it quietly behind you. Your steps to the living room couch felt drunken and sloppy, Jungkook's photographs on the wall tilted haphazardly and blended into the shadows settling on the walls as tears gathered in your eyes. After what Hoseok said, pulling out one of the blankets you stashed with Jungkook's scent felt like stacking on the sins, so you laid down on the couch and let the weight of your guilt act as your blanket.

But you couldn't sleep, not when your past felt closer than ever. Every time you shut your eyes you were back in your first home, in that tiny white room that you grew up in. You remembered everything about that room, the linoleum floor that looked like wood, the generic bookshelf full of books that you were allowed, the holes in your quilt, the stains on your sheet, and the squeak of the door that always woke you up in a panic.

It was the memory of that sound that made you jolt awake over and over. You were beginning to feel like you were in that room again, just waiting for him to walk in at any moment.

"Y/N? Are you ok?" You looked away from the window to meet the concerned gaze of Yoongi. At some point during the early morning you had stopped trying to fall asleep. If he was up, it meant that it was time to get ready for the day, it meant two nights of no sleep. You felt like the slimy trails of slugs were filling up the cracks in your brain, making it sticky and slow. You closed your eyes and they painfully pulsed.

"Come here and I'll make you some tea." You got up from the couch and trudged your way over to the kitchen. You wanted to go over to Yoongi and wrap your arms around him, find comfort in his scent. But after what Hoseok said last night, you felt too guilty. Hoseok came in just as Yoongi was handing you your tea.