Catch Me When I Fall

Gay Panic

"Khai, there was one more question you were gonna ask. The last one, you cut yourself off. What were you gonna say?"

"Hey, you're the one who's curious now!" Khai laughs, amused. 

He's so adorable.

Then his face flushes.

"No, I meant to not finish that. It was an odd question that came out of nowhere. I can't tell you, it's weird." He says, which oddly frustrates me.

"C'mon, we're neurodivergent, we can do weird."

"I don't know... Khai hesitates.

"Hey, you can't leave me hanging. You need to finish what you started." I encourage.

"Wait, let me get a blanket to hide underneath after I tell you." He says, jumping to his feet. 

Like usual, he wavers for a second. Then he tries to clamber on his bed, but he steps a little too soon. 

In a series of events that escalates quickly, he face plants his bed, the impact bouncing him back again, and before I know it, he falls on top of me because I'm still sitting by the foot of his bed.

"I'm so sorry!" He apologizes in a panicked voice while scrambling to de-escalate the situation by finding his blanket and removing himself from on top of me.

For some reason, I start laughing really hard and I can't stop. Khai starts laughing too, slowing sliding out of his bed, stomach down, his blanket trailing behind him. 

He rolls himself up, then just lays there, laughing with me. 

I can't even see him anymore, I only hear him. He's just a roll of blankets that's shaking from his laughter.

When we manage to compose ourselves somewhat, Khai emerges from his cocoon of comfort. 

The blanket rests over his head like a hoodie, some disheveled hair sticking out from underneath it.

"Okay, focus. You probably forgot what you were gonna ask me." I joke. 

Khai smiles.

"Impossible. It's too nerve wrecking to forget." He pauses. "Actually, I'm not sure that's true. I'm really talented at forgetting."

I wait patiently. 

No, I'm not patient. I'm really fucking curious.

"Well hurry up and remember."

"Okay, so..." Khai takes a deep breath, then hides his face in his blanket. "Nooo Tyrone I don't dare..." His voice is muffled.

"Hey, the only thing you shouldn't dare is to back out now." I threaten playfully. 

Khai takes a few deep breaths.

"Don't judge me... please..?" He asks, his voice somewhat high-pitched.

"Nope. Not gonna judge." 

Am I lying? 

Maybe. 

But if he thinks I'm going to judge me, he won't tell me, and I'm not sure how much longer I handle not knowing. Khai knows how to build up suspense. 

"Okay... I was going to ask... well, not that I intended to, it was just a thought that raced through my head, but umm... is it true that people with bi-polar have an increased... sex... drive?" 

Khai disappears under his blanket in an astonishing speed.

I chuckle softly.

"I don't know, I heard that somewhere." He defends himself, probably worried about what I'm thinking. "You don't have to answer that." He adds softly.