Catch Me When I Fall

Two Guys, One Bed

At first, I don't really know what to say, probably because I'm smitten. I feel so happy that me of all people was the one who made this positive change in his life.

"I'm glad your less lonely." I say wholeheartedly.

Tyrone smiles and sits up, rubbing his shoulder.

"I know I was an asshole when we first met, and I'm  sorry. Never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad I met you, Khai."

"Me too. You know, I never would've imagined that you'd be in my room someday."

"Neither did I. Can't believe I'm actually trying to let my guard down. I've kept so many people out and it always worked up until now. You were the one person I thought wouldn't even try. You seemed so shy and anxious and self-conscious, I thought you'd just be sad and leave me alone when I was mean to you. But I'm so glad you didn't. I didn't realize how important having connections are. And I'm not very good at keeping friends or even understanding friendships, but hopefully that'll change. I'm confused half the time, but the only thing I know is that it's better than being alone."

"So you're kind of extroverted?"

"I don't know. Half the time I hate people. At the same time, I also hate being alone. I mean, I guess it depends on the person or the situation I'm in."

I nod.

"I like extroverts because they're good at keeping up both ends of the conversation. Sometimes it's hard for me to know what to say, or think of things to say."

"You're doing alright now."

"That's cause... I think I feel like I can be myself around you." I realize.

Tyrone smiles.

"That's good. I feel like you're always overthinking everything so much. I understand why, but sometimes you worry so much that I feel worried just from watching you."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for that, Khai. I know you have a low self-esteem and all, but you're a really nice person. And you told me why your self-esteem is like that, and I understand. But still, it'd be nice to see you gain some confidence."

"I think I have. Just a little, though." I reply, then chuckle.

It's nice talking to Tyrone. I like that he's opening up to me a little more and that it's getting easier for him to talk to me.

While it's clear that this is new to him and he doesn't really understand everything, I'm happy that I can be his friend. I feel honored to be the one who's going to show him what friendship means. 

I don't even mind if it means I can't date him.  His friendship is enough, and I think I can manage to think of him as a friend.

Maybe I already do. He's my best friend. 

Though that doesn't mean I can just turn my feelings off. You can be attracted to a friend, right?

"It's getting late, Tyrone. You should sleep." I say when he yawns. He looks a little better, but he's clearly fatigued.

"In your bed again?" He asks. "You're just gonna sleep on the floor?"

"Yeah. I really don't mind, Ty."

"Khai... I'm not used to putting myself first. It makes me feel guilty and uneasy and it still bothers me that I took your bed last time and you had to sleep on the floor. I don't care if you sleep in your bed, too. I have one side, you have the other."

I thought I'd never hear those words. 

So much for trying to be just friends. I might have to take everything back.