The Unexpected (Lashton, Malum, Muke, Cake, Mashton and Cashton)

Chapter 33

Michael

I'm still not over what I walked into, and in all honesty, I'm not sure why I would be either. The fact that I heard everything and I wasn't told this to my face is what hurts the most. I'm tired of getting my heart broken over and over again, not only by Calum, but by Luke as well. They don't know half of the things that run through my mind. They don't understand how I feel or why I'm feeling it and it kills me inside.

I tried forgetting, I truly did. So, I stayed in my room most of the day and glanced out the window as I saw happy couples walking by. It hurt more to see people together, than it did before. I didn't know why, but my heart just kept aching as the time passed.

The words were playing through my head over and over again.

You think I want Michael? No, I've never wanted Michael and I never will. He's not my type and I don't like him that way. I don't want him.

I was surprised I could remember every single word he said, but it didn't matter. He said what he said and he obviously meant it and didn't regret it one bit. I wish I could make him feel the pain he made me feel but I'm not sure if that's possible. Today was just an upsetting day. Everyone around him seemed extremely happy but I was dying inside. I cradled my arms around my knees and rocked back and fourth like I used to when I was a kid to calm myself down. But it wasn't working, the words just kept echoing through my brain and the pang in my chest continued to grow.

I placed a pillow over my face in hope that maybe my brain would cool down, but again, it wasn't working. I have never been so heartbroken before. I've loved and lost, but I got over it. Calum is different though and he's someone I never wanted to lose feelings for. Because not only do I have hope, but I feel like there's some hidden connection growing between us. However, Calum obviously doesn't think the same since he said all of those things. I don't know what hurts worse, the fact that Calum doesn't realize how in love with him I am, or the fact that he said all of those things yet kissed me a couple of days ago like it was nothing.

He doesn't know that these past few nights, I've done nothing but think about that kiss and how much it affected me. I thought we had something going on, but we clearly don't. Ashton and Luke are getting along, and Luke still has those eyes filled with love and fondness whenever he looks at the boy. HI chuckled to myself when thinking about when we were together. His eyes were filled more with amusement whenever he looked at  me, rather than with love, but I never noticed it until I thought back on it. I'd hate to say it, but I miss our cuddles and I miss the time we were dancing out of the rain and he gave me his jacket. It's so cliche and it's what most couples do in movies, but that's what I loved the most about it.

I wish I could do those things with Calum but then again no. He hurt me so bad and doesn't deserve my love, but I still want to be with him. It's so stupid and complicated and probably doesn't make sense but in my head, it makes more sense than anything. He's an asshole who played with my emotions just to get closer to Luke, but I also felt like had some secret hidden feelings that night in the car. He looked so nervous with the way he was gulping every couple of seconds and fidgeting with his fingers. I may or may not have been watching him out of the corner of my eye.

I'm not sure if I understand him though. He makes me so happy and I love thinking about him and how cute he is. His eyes are really pretty to look at, even though Luke's remind me of the ocean. But Calum is so different, in a good way. He always knows how to warm my heart and make me laugh, and he always makes the funniest faces. He can be quiet sometimes, but that's what I love about him. There's this shy side of him that nobody really sees and I find it adorable.

I grumbled to myself as I realized I was fantasizing over the boy. It wasn't something I was proud of but I couldn't stop.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on my door, and I realized it was Calum. I tried the hardest I could to make it look like I wasn't crying before he walked in, but it was something I couldn't control. He must've noticed I wasn't in the best mood since he immediately gave me a look of pity. However, I decided to play it cool by acting like nothing ever happened between us.

"What are you looking at me like that for?"

He looked down at his hands and frowned. "Your - your eyes, they're red and puffy. W-Were you crying, Mikey?"

He didn't deserve to know what I was feeling, so I simply shrugged my shoulders and put my headphones in to ignore him. It was awfully rude of me to do that, but I didn't care. I no longer wanted to hear what he had to say. So, I turned my music up painfully loud in hope that it would make him go away but of course, it didn't.

"Look, Michael-"

"I'm sorry, what? I'm kind of busy," I replied, taking one of my earbuds out but I put it right back in after he stayed silent. This was clearly making him upset but once again, I didn't care. I just turned my music up a notch louder until it was hurting my ears. I kept them at that level so he would go away, but he just continued to sit there. Now, I was pissed.

"Dammit Calum, what do you want?!"

He flinched at my sudden anger, then frowned once again. "L-Look, I just wanted to apologize for everything, I didn't mean anything I said. You're a great guy Michael, I promise."

"Cool."

"That's all you have to say is cool?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't expect me to forgive you after you fooled with my emotions."

Calum looked angry and was trying not to yell at me but I could tell he was about to burst. However, he let out a huff and looked at me again with caring eyes. "I never played with your emotions."

"Yes you did! You led me the fuck on by making me think you were interested in me when all along it was Luke! Don't pretend that you didn't kiss me in the car the other night! And don't pretend you didn't feel sparks either." The boy bit down on his lip in guilt, and at this point, I was done.

"Just go fuck your boyfriend or something and leave me alone." I don't like to cuss a lot, but when I'm pissed, all of the bad language falls out of my mouth. He nodded in understanding and stood up, walking away in shame.

"That's what I thought," I mumbled, shoving my earbud back in. As he left my room, I thought for a while. I thought about how since the beginning, I've been trying to get him to notice me and how he didn't notice that I'd get jealous over the slightest things. It was a cute whenever he tried to cheer me up though. He was always being a good friend.

"Dammit," I mumbled to myself, "I need to forgive him." I know he didn't mean to say what he did, he was obviously guilty and looked on the verge of tears when he walked in, but I didn't want to admit it. He may not like me in that way but he will always be one of my best friends and I need to forgive him. After all, we're in a band and we can't let something stupid get in the way. The fans would be crushed, honestly.

I took my headphones out and set them on my bed next to my phone, then rushed out of my bedroom. Calum wasn't very far away, so I ran towards him and hugged him from the back tightly, shocking him. At first, he looked uncomfortable, but he let me hold onto him as I nuzzled my face in his neck and smiled softly. He was smiling as well, probably from knowing that I forgive him for making a mistake. Everyone makes a mistake.

"Does this mean you forgive me?"

"Yes."

"I love you so much, thank you, wait, not in that way though," he replied, biting down on his lip once again. "I know what you meant," I giggled, even though my heart broke at the sound of that.

I'm just glad we could be friends.

That's all we ever need to be anyway, is just friends.