Game Over: Life's Over

Epilogue

The TV played a Christmas movie, per my request. I wasn't ready to give up Christmas just yet so I made Eric and Theo put one on for the three of us to watch.

We'd moved the couch and the coffee table so we could be more comfortable. Blankets were strewn over the couch. The one Mom had gotten me was covering my small body. My bunny was tucked between Eric and me on my right. I was sucking on my thumb as I waited for Theo to come back so we could play the movie. What was once an anxiety tactic had turned into a habit I barely noticed. My body was graciously accepting all of the baby traits that I'd picked up over the past year without a fight and my brain was turning a blind eye to it all, letting it happen without a fuss.

It was nice, if I was honest. I liked not having to worry about what I did or how I acted. The mutation changed who I was but it didn't make me any less. I was still me, just a lot smaller and more infantile. But as Theo and Eric constantly reminded me, there was nothing wrong with that.

Theo walked around the couch, a bowl of popcorn in one hand, and a bottle in the other. He looked at the space where his seat once was, seeing that it was smaller than it was initially. And Theo wasn't a small guy.

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Are you trying to steal my seat?"

I giggled and wiggled myself closer to Eric, giving Theo back his seat. "I was keeping it warm."

"Mhm. I bet you were."

Eric rested his arm on the back of the couch and I leaned into his side, squishing my bunny even more.

He sat down, sandwiching me in between his large frame and Eric's muscular one, and handed me the bottle. "Don't drink it so fast or you'll get the hiccups."

I ignored Theo's comment, knowing full well I was going to gulp down the milk as quickly as I could suck it from the nipple. Ever since I'd breastfed for the first time, my body was hooked. I wanted it more and more often. The doctor at the hospital said it would happen but I didn't believe him. I wanted to think that I wouldn't like it and thus wouldn't have to drink it. But my body had entirely different plans for me.

I swapped out my thumb for the nipple of the bottle. When my head was cloudy and heading toward my baby self, social cues went out the door. I never realized how loud I was at times. Whether it was the volume of how I spoke or my laughing as I played with toys or how loudly I sucked on my bottles and sippy cups. My body wanted what it wanted and my brain didn't care to let it happen.

I knew that was how everyone wanted it from the start. They wanted me to 'try things out' and then just magically want to do it all the time. Maybe that was how it was supposed to happen for me but just didn't because I was stubborn. Or maybe it just took my body some time to adjust before I... let go.

Like Soleil said once, letting go made my life so much easier.

Theo and Eric took care of my every need. They changed me, bathed me, kept me fed, and gave me everything and anything I wanted. Mom was there for me whenever I needed to talk or get away. It was hard at first to go back to my old home and my old town and not feel like I stuck out. I wasn't the same Jacob anymore. But being around Mom made it easy for me to forget that. I was just glad to spend time with her and let her baby me like she so desperately wanted to do. Soleil and Will made my life more fun, whether we were at playgroup or at someone's house. Being around them made it easy to forget that I was supposed to be an eighteen-year-old and just be a kid. I wasn't afraid of how I looked or sounded when I was around them. I didn't try to hide the toys I carried with me or the fact that a binky was dangling from my shirt at all times. I barely even noticed that I wore diapers 24/7 and used them constantly. The anxiety and fear that had been bubbling inside since I got diagnosed was gone, and instead was filled with excitement and happiness.

It was something I couldn't put into words.

The life I had wasn't one I would have picked for myself nor was it one I expected to enjoy. But it was better than I expected and I felt more and more at peace as each day passed.

I couldn't wait to see how the upcoming year went and what being nineteen looked like for me.

It could only get better, right?

The End.

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I can't tell you the last time I wrote something so short. What is this, 2016? I'm appalled at myself for how short this chapter is BUT the last few chapters have been long so I feel like I've made up for it?

Thank you all for reading this story and stay tuned for the next story. The new book cover, cover photo, and summary will be posted in the next chapter of this story so keep watching your notifications!