RUDRADAMINI

Heart to Heart Conversations

Saudamini POV

Ji...Suniye....? I called her softly. She stopped in her tracks and turned to look back at me.

Ji...kuch kehna tha aapko...Rajkumariji? she asked me, concerned.

I walked to her, my jhanjar tinkling loudly in the empty corridor and stood infront of her. She looked down at me in confusion. I looked into her eyes....deeply...she held my gaze unwavering, allowing me to talk. My hands had gripped each other infront of my midriff out of nervousness. Her gaze was intense...making me nervous.

Ji.....I wanted to....to...thank you...for your concern..... I smiled at her. Relief washed over her face instantly and she smiled. 

There is nothing to thank me for, Princess. You got hurt because of me and I can't stand that. Moreover, it is the least I can do. She said.

I can't stand people important to me getting hurt, Rajkumari. She added, looking at me intensely. My eyes widened a bit. My heart picking up it's pace. I asked softly, my voice barely above a whisper. 

I'm important to you, Kunwarisa?

For a split second, she looked hurt...I didn't know why. She masked the expression with her intense gaze, though it softened a bit and replied, Ji Rajkumari. You are my Bhabhisa's sister. You are family. Of course you are important to me. I smiled at her...though half heartedly...that was not what I wanted to hear...I didn't know what I wanted to hear either, it was a strange and confusing moment. I had averted my eyes, lost in thought.

Can I ask you a question Kunawarisa? It is completely ok if you don't want to answer it. I asked her, hesitantly. I could see confusion on her face and nervousness in her eyes. 

Poochiye Raajkumari.

Have you talked to anyone about the incident with Bhadra since the past 10 years Kunwarisa? Except those 8 months.....have you spoken to anyone about it? I asked her softly. It was her turn to avert her gaze. she looked at the floor nervously and looked back at me...her expressions pained and sad.

No Rajkumari, I haven't, she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes were looking into mine, pain and fear evident in them and averted her gaze.

Why did you tell me then? Kunwarisa? I asked her tenderly. It was not an accusation...nor was I conflicted with the fact that she opened up to me...even if it was just a little surprised. I was content that I could be of some help to her. I just wanted to know...why? She looked at me. I couldn't read her face. Her cheeks were turning light red. Her eyes had a different glow at the moment. They looked...determined.

Because for the first time, I felt I could open up to someone, Rajkumari. The moment I told you Bhadra got hurt because of me...I didn't see the usual accusatory stare I normally get. You definitely were shocked, but you did not judge me based on it, your presence allowed me...for the first time...to overcome my inhibitions and talk my heart...even if it was for a little time. I felt I could open up to you, because I saw pain in your eyes...princess...for me...and I rarely see that. That is the reason I told you the story. she finished, her cheeks had flushed...her eyes bore into my very soul. I was still digesting her words, when she continued....softly this time, 

But princess if you feel it was too much of me to tell you that, please speak up now, I will keep that in mind. She said. She looked hurt. For some reason, my heart pained looking at the painful expression on her face. She looked down.

Don't even, Kunwarisa....even for a second think it was too much. everyone commits mistakes, but only a few have the courage to accept it, work on it to not repeat it. She looked at me...surprised...I felt butterflies in my stomach...still I continued looking at her.