Chasing the Wild Waves (Student Series #1)

Kabanata 48

The next day, I was so damn exhausted, and I can feel my soreness down here. I recalled what happened last night, and I could say that it was so amazing!

He's really eager to satisfy me in bed! We did it five times in five different positions! Hindi ko aakalain na kakayanin ko pala 'yon! I couldn't move my body well when I tried to get up from bed. Napangiwi ako nang maramdaman ang matinding hapdi ng katawan ko. Lahat yata ng parte ng katawan ko ay masakit ngayon!
 
Ryder is not beside me anymore. I roamed my eyes around, looking for his presence, when the door suddenly opened. Ryder, in his white suit, entered the room. He's holding a tray. May juice at tubig din doon. Umupo ako sa kama at sumandal sa headboard nito nang nilagay niya ang tray sa bedside table.
 
"How are you feeling?" he gently asked. "Masakit ba?"
 
Kumunot ang noo ko. "Of course, what do you expect? Ano'ng gusto mong isagot ko riyan sa tanong mo? Makati, ganoon?"
 
He chuckled. "Ang aga-aga pero nagsusungit ka na."
 
He sat down in the space beside me. My naked body is covered by the blanket. Ang kanyang mainit na kamay ay pinatong niya sa aking hita at nilapit ang kanyang mukha sa akin. He stole a kiss from my lips. Kinuha niya ang tray at nilagay niya iyon sa pagitan naming dalawa. There's soup in there. May juice at may tubig. Mayroon din rice at saka Bicol Express. He took a spoon of soup. Inihipan niya iyon bago nilapit sa aking bibig ang kutsara para subuan ako.
 
"Ang sakit talaga ng katawan ko," sabi ko nang kainin iyong sinubo niya sa akin. "May pasok pa naman ako bukas."
 
"Mawawala rin iyan mayamaya, just wait for it," he assured. "Puwede ring imasahe kita kung gusto mo," he presented.
 
"What massage are you talking about?" Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mata. "I don't need that, baka kung ano'ng masahe na iyan, eh. Hindi pa puwede ngayon dahil masakit ang katawan ko."
 
"Kung ganoon.. bukas naman?" He laughed as he said that.
 
I glared at him. "Kung kailan mawawala, maghintay ka riyan."
 
"Paano kung mawala na iyan mamaya, puwede na?" he joked. "Just kidding," he said when I gave him another deathly glare. "Ang aga-aga, ang sungit mo. Baka iisipin ko tuloy na nabuntis ka na kaagad."
 
"Siraulo," I said. "Alam mo naman na ilang weeks pa matapos ang sexual intercourse 'di ba bago lumabas ang sintomas ng pagbubuntis? At isa pa, hindi naman ako mabubuntis, 'no."
 
"Of course, I will make sure of that," he assured. "Habang nag-aaral ka pa, hindi ko muna hahayaang mabuntis ka. Saka na kapag.. graduating ka na."
 
I playfully punched his arm. "Gago ka talaga!"
 
"Sinasabihan mo na gago ang magiging future teacher? You're bad," aniya.
 
"I'm bad naman talaga!" I hissed and rolled my eyes. "As if namang hindi mo 'yan alam! Don't act like you did not know that!"
 
After I eat my breakfast and am done with my shower, masakit pa rin ang pangangatawan ko lalo na iyong sa ibaba, pero kaya ko namang maglakad kaso paika-ika nga lang. Ryder just helped me with my shower kasi medyo nahirapan pa akong pumasok sa banyo kanina, pero nang matapos maligo ay medyo nakayanan ko naman. I wore my maxi skirt and paired it with my jacket. It's good that I used to wear scarves. Nagsuot ako niyon para takpan ang hickeys ko dahil nilagyan ako no'n ni Ryder kagabi. May dalawa ako no'n sa leeg at iyong isa naman ay malapit sa dibdib ko. Natakpan nga iyon, kaso iyong sa kanya naman ay kitang-kita. How can we cover that?
 
I prepared myself for my makeup. I decided to do smokey makeup because I had never done that in the past few years. Nasa likod ko si Ryder, pinapanood ako habang nagme-makeup ako. I can see him watching me through my vanity mirror. I just continued applying makeup to my face and brushed my hair, letting it down.
 
"Are we going to your place?" I broke the silence between us while I was applying my contour. I looked at him through the mirror.
 
"Yeah, you're going to meet my family," tipid niyang sabi. "Why? Aren't you ready to meet them?"
 
I shook my head. "Actually, I am so excited to meet your family. I can't wait to see them!" I exclaimed.
 
"Uhm." He cleared his throat. "May I ask? Uh.. about your friends, I mean.. ex friends? Miley?"
 
Natigilan ako nang bigla niyang isulpot iyon sa usapan. For years, I never heard anything from Miley. Matapos iyong pag-expell sa kanila sa school ay hindi na sila nagpakita pa sa akin. I never heard news about her or her whereabouts. I never talked about her anymore.. not until now. I moved my swiveling chair, pinaharap ko iyon sa gawi ni Ryder. Tumigil ako sa pagme-makeup upang harapin siya.
 
"Why did you ask about her?" malamig kong tanong.
 
He shifted in his seat and slowly shook his head. "W-Wala, wala.. naalala ko lang."
 
"Naalala mo siya?"
 
Umiling siya ulit. "Hindi, naitanong ko lang naman kasi.. uh." Saglit pa siyang napaisip. "Parang wala ka nang kaibigan."
 
"Wala naman talaga akong kaibigan," I said bitterly. "I don't want to be friends with anyone anymore."
 
"You have me," bigla niyang sinabi.
 
Kumunot ang noo ko. "You are not my friend, you are my husband, Ry."
 
"I can be your friend too, Scarlet. If you don't have friends, I can be your friend," aniya.
 
Napangiti ako sa kanya at napailing. "Aywan ko nga sa 'yo, Ry..."
 
When I'm finally done with my makeup, sakto ring kumatok ang katulong sa pinto kaya pinagbuksan ko siya. She handed me a paper bag and told me to give it to Ryder. Inabot ko nga iyon kay Ryder at tinanong siya kung ano iyon. It was a turtleneck. Pinabili niya raw kay manong, iyon daw ang susuotin niya para takpan din ang hickeys niya. Iyon nga ang sinuot niya at bagay lang din naman iyon sa kanya.
 
Pagkababa namin sa hagdanan ay wala na sina mommy at daddy dahil umalis na raw, ayon sa katulong. I have already prepared some of my clothes. I brought it with me. Three suitcases are enough, right? Kaunti pa lang ang dala ko kasi marami ang damit ko. Ryder helped me with it. Siya ang humila ng dalawang bagahe samantalang iyong isang katulong naman ang humila ng isa. They brought it to the car's trunk. Isa lang ang pinasok doon at ang dalawa naman ay sa backseat na lang nilagay. Ryder opened the door for me.
 
Excitement filled me knowing that I'm going to meet his family. Doon na rin ako titira sa kanila! I texted mom and dad that we're now going to Ryder's place. Dad called my number, and I immediately answered his call in the middle of the road. Ryder is currently driving the car while I was just comfortably sitting on the shotgun seat.
 
"Ingat kayo, ah?" ani dad matapos kong sabihin sa kanya na papunta na kami ngayon sa kanila ni Ryder. "Balitaan mo kaagad kami, hija, kapag makarating na kayo roon."
 
"Okay, po, daddy," I responded.
 
"Can I talk to your husband?"
 
I bit my lower lip when I heard the last word. Husband. Until now, I couldn't get over the fact that I'm married and Ryder is my husband. Gusto ko tuloy isigaw sa buong mundo na asawa ko na siya pero.. mas mabuting siguro kung saka na. It's better to keep our marriage for now, but if someone asks me about our status, I'll immediately tell the truth.
 
"Ryder is driving, dad."
 
"Okay," he said on the other line. "Mag-ingat kayo sa biyahe, ah? Punta rin kayo sa bahay paminsan-minsan, hija."
 
I chuckled. "Of course, daddy. Some of my clothes are still there. Syempre babalikan ko rin kayo, 'no."
 
Our conversation lasted that way. Binaba ko kaagad ang tawag matapos makipag-usap kay daddy. Ryder silently drove his car. Minsan ay sinusulyapan niya naman ako. He placed his hand on my thigh. Naka maxi skirt ako, pero nilagay niya pa rin ang kanyang palad doon. He's now driving with one hand. I don't know that he can do that. I actually don't know how to drive. I never went to driving school, and my dad did not teach me how to drive. Kaya hanggang ngayon ay 'di pa rin ako marunong no'n. Palagi kasi akong nagpapahatid-sundo kay manong o 'di kaya'y sa mga pinsan ko.
 
"Anyway, I'm curious," I said when something came up to my head.
 
Ryder took another glance at me. "Yeah, what is it?"
 
"Sabay kayong umalis nina Astride at Seth noon, hindi ba? Where are they? Kasama mo ba sila?" I planted him questions.
 
"Kasama ko silang umalis noon, pero nauna silang pumuntang U.S. Astride is still there. She decided to stay there for the better. Kasabay ko naman umuwi si Seth last week, sumabay siya sa amin."
 
Napatuwid ako ng upo nang marinig ang pangalan ni Seth. Nagkita pa kami no'n, kaso hindi nga lang nagtagal ang usapan namin. Naisip ko tuloy kung binanggit ba ni Seth kay Ryder iyong aksidente naming pagkikita?
 
Tumango ako. "About your family, how did you find them?"
 
He smiled. "You wanted to know a lot about me, huh?"
 
"Of course, mag-asawa kaya tayo," mahinang sabi ko. "I wanted to know my husband even more."
 
He sighed. "The dean was the one who helped me to look for my family. Siya ang nagsabi sa akin kung nasaan ang pamilya ko noon. I was about to tell you about it, but..." He shook his head. "I heard you talking to your friends, so I went near you."
 
Umiwas ako ng tingin. "I am sorry about it. I was such an immature bitch."
 
Mapakla siyang tumawa. "Sana nga nagsinungaling ka na lang noon dahil.. mas paniniwalaan pa kita."
 
"They were right, Ry," I started. "Totoo iyong sinabi nila na.. nilapitan kita para makuha ang tiwala ng mga magulang ko, para sa kalayaan ko, at para sa cards ko. That's my plan, that's my goal. I wanted to dump you before so that it would be easy for you to be out of my life. I tried everything to make you fall, Ry.. but.."
 
"But?" tanong niya at hininaan ang pagpapatakbo ng sasakyan.
 
"But.. I fall into my own trap," I whispered.
 
He stopped the car on the side road to look at me. His eyes are very careful. Humarap siya sa akin na puno ng pagsusumamo ang kanyang mga mata. He looks like he couldn't believe what he just heard. Yumuko ako at umiling.
 
"I fall in love with you.." I cleared out.
 
"Scarlet..."
 
"T-Totoo iyon..." My voice cracked. "I-Iyong mga pinaparamdam ko sa 'yo, iyong pinapakita ko sa 'yo, at.. iyong mga sayang nararamdaman ko tuwing kasama ka.. totoo lahat ng iyon. I found the real me when I started to fall in love with you. Noong una.. hindi ko matanggap, ayaw kong tanggapin kasi.. ayaw na ayaw ko sa 'yo, eh. You're a nerd, you're a pest in my life.. that's why I wanted to get away from you but.. it really did not come up in my mind that.. I might fall for you."
 
My tears rolled down my cheeks. I couldn't look at him straight in the eyes now because guilt crept in. Until now, what I did to him kept hunting me. I wanted to confess everything to him because.. he deserves to know the truth.
 
"A-Alam mo ba kung gaano kasakit noong umalis ka nang walang paalam?" Pumiyok na ang boses ko. "Ry.. gabi-gabi, iniisip ko.. iniisip ko ang lahat. I keep telling myself na.. kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit mo 'ko iniwan, kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit ka umalis. I wanted to explain to you everything, but you didn't give me a chance."
 
"I'm sorry" is the only thing he can say.
 
"Ry.. ikaw lang ang lalaking minahal ko. I've been with a lot of boys, but none of them made me feel the way you make me feel. Iniisip ko palagi, Ry.. na sana.. hindi ko na lang ginawa iyon. I've been blaming myself for years because.. I couldn't forgive myself for what I have done to you. I hate myself. I really, really hate myself, Ry."
 
I couldn't stop myself. A sob came out of my mouth. Mabilis na kinalas ni Ryder ang kanyang seatbelt at lumapit sa puwesto ko. Kinabig niya ako at niyakap nang mahigpit. I cried on his shoulders as I hugged him back.
 
"Natatakot ako no'n, Ry, takot na takot ako kasi.. akala ko hindi ka na babalik pa. For years, I keep on thinking of you. I couldn't even look back to other guys. I tried to like other guys.. but I am still into you." Humikbi ako at hinigpitan ang yakap ko sa kanya. "I have loved you, and I still love you, Ry."
 
"Hush," he hushed me up. "Please, don't cry like this. It hurts to see you crying like this, Scar."
 
"Hindi ko lang talaga mapigilan," I said. "Mahal pa rin talaga kasi kita, eh."
 
He let go of the hug and cupped my face. "Mas mahal kita. Now.. stop crying. The past doesn't matter to me. What you did in the past stays in the past. Wala na 'yon, tapos na 'yon kaya kalimutan mo na."
 
"I'm still guilty—"
 
"You shouldn't be," he said, cutting me out. "If I knew earlier that you've been blaming yourself, sana pinaaga ko na lang ang uwi ko ng Pilipinas."
 
Napapikit ako nang haplusin niya ang aking mukha. He kissed my eyes and my forehead. I sniffed and tried to hold my tears, but they kept falling down. Si Ryder na rin mismo ang nagpahid ng luha ko sa aking pisngi.
 
"Your makeup was ruined," aniya.
 
"Oh my God!"
 
I immediately got back to my senses when I heard what he said. Natatarantang kinuha ko ang aking purse at nilabas doon ang aking salamin. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like a mess now! Ryder was right! My makeup was ruined! Mabilis kong pinaypayan ang sarili ko gamit ang aking kamay. May aircon naman at hindi naman ako naiinitan pero kailangan ko pa ring paypayan ang sarili ko.
 
Ryder chuckled. "Hayan tuloy.."
 
"Gosh, ikaw kasi, eh!" I said.
 
"What? Why me?" he asked innocently. "You were the one who brought it up. I did not even ask you about it."
 
"Kahit na! Kasalanan mo pa rin!" I hissed and took my wipes out of my purse. "Gosh, my makeup!"
 
"You're still beautiful without it." I heard him, but I just ignored him.
 
"Hindi dapat ako umiyak, eh! Ito tuloy! I can't face your family with this face!" I said.
 
"What?" Tiningnan niya ako. "Maganda ka pa rin naman, ah? What face are you talking about?"
 
I shook my head. "We need to get back home."
 
"What?"
 
"Uuwi tayo, Ry! Kailangan kong magpaganda ngayon! Dapat maganda ako kapag makita ako ng pamilya mo! Nakakahiya naman na ganito ang mukha ko ngayon!" I ranted. "We should get back home. Mabilis lang talaga! I'll just do my makeup!"
 
"Malapit na tayo, Scar," he said in a lower voice.
 
"Sige na, please?" I pleaded. "Mabilis lang talaga. Uuwi lang tayo saglit at babalik din tayo kaagad. We'll also buy something for your family! Nakakahiya kasing wala akong maibigay sa kanila..."
 
He sighed, surrendering. "Alright, if that's what you wanted."
 
Ngumuso ako. "I should schedule my emotions next time. Nakakahiya ba naman na katatapos ko lang umiyak at haharap ako sa pamilya mo."
 
"Maganda ka pa rin naman."
 
"Kahit na, Ry!" I cut him out. "Balik na nga tayo! Ikaw kasi, eh!"
 
"Okay, okay. I will drive now." He immediately started the engine and did a u-turn. "Wala naman akong laban sa 'yo."
 
"May sinasabi ka?" I arched a brow at him. "Nagrereklamo ka ba, Ry?"
 
Marahan siyang umiling. "Hindi, ang sabi ko.. magandang asawa ang mayroon ako kaya dapat sundin ang gusto."