The Sacrificial Lamb Looks Tasty (Alastor x Reader)

Chapter 32: So, what am I to you?

"You mean what got you sent to Hell?" I clarify.

Alastor nods, snaps his fingers, and we're in a different venue. It looks like a dimly lit bar. I don't see a band anywhere, but I can faintly hear jazz playing somewhere in the background. No matter where I look though, I can't tell where it's coming from. There's no one else here. "Where are we?" I ask.

"My own secluded refuge." Alastor explains. "I wanted a space I could go that no one would know about and where no one could find me." He walks over to the bar and takes a seat on one of the barstools.

"I can appreciate that." I'm still looking around at some of the details around the bar. It has a wood cabin feel but with nice leather seats and bar stools. I take a seat next to him. "Do you have a bartender?" I ask him.

Alastor lets out a small chuckle. "What do you want, my dear?" He looks at me as he rests his arm on the bar, holding his head up.

My dear? He doesn't call me that often. "Hm... vodka cranberry?" Alastor simply waves his arm, and the drink appears in front of me.

"Don't need a bartender here, complete seclusion." He clarifies as he holds his own drink, taking a sip. "I struggle to understand how I feel about you. I... haven't felt this way about someone before." He beings. This place must make him feel pretty safe if he's already started confessing. "You make me happy, worried, sometimes frustrated. The day I was able to take that engagement ring from you and burn it into nothing felt like such a victory. I've been in Hell for a very long time, longer than most. I've never felt like I've wanted something so badly." I don't want to interrupt him. He pauses for a second and takes a bigger swig of his drink. I can understand needing liquid courage to get through a tough conversation.

"It's not about your looks or your body, though I'm not complaining. It's..." He seems to be searching for the words. "Your willingness to give me control, allowing me to utilize the power you have, yet have boundaries with others that makes me feel..." Alastor twirls the ice in his drink, he's really struggling to find the word.

"Special? Appreciated? Seen?" I try to help.

"You..." Alastor moves his eyes back to me. "You would give me your hand so quickly and willingly before we ever had a deal. Why were you so trusting with me?" He questions as he manifests a second drink. "You never had to." He clarifies.

I shrug. "Free will, right? Just because I wasn't forced to do so doesn't mean I wouldn't." I take a sip of my drink. There's a moment of silence. I'm trying to figure out how to word this question. "Answer me this..." I begin, looking at him as I tilt my head, "...you have an air about you that made me want to trust you, but also be weary of you. Others in the hotel warned me about you. So, I can't be the first person who gave you their trust. Why am I different to you?"

Alastor seems to be thinking my question over, maybe he's not sure. As he thinks, I finish my drink. He takes notice and provides me a second, scotting it closer to me. "Let's talk about why I'm here..." He begins. He gets up, walks over to a framed newspaper article and brings it back to the bar. As I look this over, he starts his third drink.

"New Orleans equal opportunity killer confirmed to be charming radio host." I read the headline out loud. Equal opportunity killer? As I read through the article a bit more this starts to make sense. "After years of chase, unfortunate murders around Louisiana, and digging up partial and full bodied victims, we can confirm that not only have we been able to identify the mass murderer of these horrible crimes, but that he has also been killed in a hunting accident. It was through this confusion that we were able to confirm and connect the murderer to the crimes." It looks like a police report that was publicized.

"It was the very early hours of the morning. It took a little longer than I expected to bury him." Alastor began, not making eye contact with me. "The sun was beginning to rise, and I had my shovel at hand. A group of hunters mistook me for a deer from the distance. All they saw was movement. They sent their disgusting hounds after me. Once the dogs got at me I was quickly shot between the eyes by a hunters rifle." Alastor still won't look at me.

"So, you murdered people... a lot of people..." I figured he did something pretty insane, but to this scale is a little jarring. When I look away from the page and back at him, he's already finished with his third drink. "Jesus, slow down a little." I recommend.

"Well, I feel a bit exposed here." Alastor confesses, holding onto a new drink. "I care about how you feel given this information." He explains, taking a big sip of his new drink.

I gently put my hand over his and make him put his drink down. As fun as it might be to see drunk Alastor, let's hold it off a little. "I mean... if we lived in the same era and I learned that you were out doing this, I probably would have steered clear." Alastor looks away from me again. He looks ashamed, which is a bit surprising. He really does care about how I feel. The big bad Radio Demon who shows no remorse for his actions is concerned about what I think of him.

"But I like the relationship I've built with you here. That wouldn't have happened if you weren't who you are, right?" This seems to have surprised him. "Plus, I haven't been my best self since I've been here." I admit, looking at my drink. "I killed my dad... I killed Vox." I don't know how that is viewed here, but it's been sticking with me. "When I killed Vox I..." How do I say this out loud?

"You enjoyed it." Alastor interrupts me. I focus my attention back on him. He looks sincerely happy. "It's easy to not feel guilty about it when they've wronged you." He runs his finger along the rim of his glass. "Understand, demons know we're all here for one reason or another. Some more severe reasons than others. But I think because of that, Hell has become a society of deeper understanding. There's an entire town of cannibals, dungeons upon dungeons for every sexual desire that can be desired, vending machines of drugs on the streets, yet we somehow all coexists. Well, for the most part." I see what he's trying to get at.

He doesn't want me to feel guilty and he doesn't want to feel so alone.

"So... To answer your earlier question, you're different because you understand me. Sometimes, better than I seem to understand myself." Alastor answers. I'm surprised he even remembered my question.

I take another sip of my drink. "So, what am I to you?" He tilts his head, like he's searching for the word. "Am I just a tool to you? Something strong and something to indulge in your curiosities?" I clarify.

"No!" Alastor quickly answers the second question. I lean my arm on the bar and rest my head in my hand, waiting for the follow up explanation.

"I mean, I've heard many different terms for what I feel you are to me." Alastor mimics my motion, arm on the bar and head resting in his hand. "Partner, girlfriend, honey, darling, dear, apparently boo is a new term I discovered." He lists. I'm doing my best to hold back the laugh at his recent discovery of the word 'boo.' "What do you prefer?" He asks me.

I never actually thought about what exact term I'd prefer. I think about it for a little bit, taking another sip of my drink. "Honestly, as much as I didn't like it in the beginning, 'little lamb' has grown on me." This makes him chuckle.

"Well..." He looks at his drink, swirls it a little, and then looks back at me. "...my little lamb is free to call me whatever her heart desires."

As much as I appreciate this conversation and as important as it is, this seems so out of character for him. I laugh a little. "The liquid courage getting to you a little, boo?" I joke.

"Maybe a smidge, but I'm being sincere." Alastor clarifies. "I've told you about my past back when I was living and you're still sitting here with plans to stay. I truly appreciate that." He puts his drink back on the bar and pushes it away. It doesn't seem like he plans on drinking anymore.

"There's one more thing I want to talk to you about." Alastor begins.

"Okay?" I question as I take a final sip of my drink.

"I think with your help, I can get out of my deal. Will you hear me out?" Alastor asks.