Not Important

Don't Leave Me Alone

A familiar car pulls up next to me and I put the duffel bag in the boot. Closing the boot, I get into the passenger seat and place my back pack on my knee.

"You shouldn't have left", Mark says.
"Well, I did", I say.
"Where're we going?", he asks me.
"Kerry's".

He starts driving. He sniffs the air.
"You've been smoking again?!", he asks me.
"It calms me down", I argue.
"You know, Kerry is going to be really annoyed at you for leaving the hospital", Mark says.
"Well, I'm just glad you aren't".
"I am annoyed. You still aren't well. You need to be back there", Mark says. I sigh.
"Please don't argue with me. I just wanted to get out of that horrible place".

"What's so bad about it? I thought you liked the hospital more than you liked your house".
I did. And now the idea of the hospital is ruined for me.
"I don't like it anymore".
"It's because of Jay, isn't it?", Mark asks me.
I don't say a thing. What could I say? 'Yes, I'm that stupid, needy and emotional right now'. Or 'No, why would you say that? Pfft'.

"Devon, I'm sorry. I really am. He seemed like such a great guy and I thought he seemed like an amazing brother with the way he was going. But, there's not much you can do about that. You just need to move on", Mark says.

I look out of the window, knowing I can never move on. He pushed me over the edge, Jay did. I was hurt and sad when mom left, but nowhere near as much as Jay and dad were. Then, when Jay left, there was a big hole. And I had many chances to ignore it, as I did so, with cleaning and working.

Then, dad left. I thought that was the last straw. It pushed me off the edge, and I couldn't stand it, I couldn't care less if I starved or ended up in a damn care home. But, Jay stopped me, pulled me back up. He gave me the idea that we could be a family again. And that, if Jay came back (which I thought he had), dad might come back as well.

When he left, I realised that the hole had only been covered and I fell through without even knowing it. I'll never be okay again. There's no going back.
.............

As soon as we enter Kerry's house and find Kerry, she's furious.
"Devon, I'm driving you back", Kerry says, putting her shoes on and grabbing her car keys.
"No. I'm not going back", I say.
"You have to. You're not well. You're not better yet", Kerry argues.

"I am. Look: my arms been stitched up. And I can't really feel my back anymore. And I bought cream for the marks", I tell her.

"Devon, you're going back", Kerry says.
"No, I'm not. Why does everyone want me back in there? I'm fine, alright? It's all over with and I just want to be away from that horrible place", I tell her.
"Fine. Fine", Kerry says, giving up and flying her white flag.

"You don't have to go back. But I'm going to get the rest of the clothes. I'll call Rachael", Kerry says, her thoughts all over the place. She calls Rachael.

Once Kerry has gone, Mark, Chris, Niamh and Georgia all go silent. I look to them, and they are all just looking around the room like they've never seen it before.
"Out with it", I say, annoyed at being treated like I'm fragile.

"You should have stayed at the hospital", Georgia says.
"What? Why does everyone keep saying that?", I ask, really annoyed with those damn words now.
"Because you were tortured, Devon. And we just want you to get better", Georgia adds.

"What she means is, we think it would benefit you if you stay in the hospital. It's what you need right now", Allison says.
"It's what I need right now? Are you serious?!", I scoff.
"What I need right now is my friends. Come on, my whole family has deserted me", I tell them.

"We know-", Allison starts.
"We know now", Chris interjects, stressing the 'now'.
"Wow, guys. I thought we were friends", I tell them.
"Well, we are your friends. But you haven't exactly been friend material lately. You've kept secrets from us, lied to us, and who knows what else!", Georgia says, throwing her words out at me.

"Listen here, you little prick", I say, staggering forwards and pointing my finger at her with a snarl on my face.
"I have picked up a lot of things over the years, including how to break someone's limbs and make it look like an accident without it leading back to me, so I wouldn't push it", I tell her.

"Hey!", Megan says, stepping in front of Georgia.
"Don't talk to her like that!", Megan tells me.
"You may have had a hard time growing up, but so has everyone else in the world. So don't take it out on Georgia. And stop thinking that you're the only one with problems", Megan says, glaring at me.

This bîtch has chosen the wrong moment to say that. I'm not in a good mood.
"You know, I've never really liked you, bîtch", I say, aiming for the stomach and punching her right there. She immediately caves in, leaning over, hands to her stomach.

"Megan, are you alright?", Georgia asks, walking over to her and making sure she's alright.
"What is wrong with you, Devon?", Georgia asks.
"She thinks she knows everything. She thinks she's so perfect and above everyone. Well, screw her!", I shout.

"Devon, you're being an absolute bîtch!", Georgia says.
"Okay. Then, screw you too! In fact, screw you all! You all act as if you're the best and the most bloody important people of all. You don't give a shît about those who are poor or have tried so much to be like you and get bullied for trying to put themselves out there!", I tell them all.

"Devon, can you just stop?", Mark asks me, sounding pissed off.
"Why? Why should I, Mark?", I ask him.
"Because you just hurt Megan!".
"Wow. Is it because she's so important? Ah, I guess her importance comes from being rich and not giving a shît about anything".
"That's it. If you don't stop this, apologise, and go back to the normal Devon, then...I think...I think we should break up", Mark says, and I don't blink an eye.

His lips turn down and thin into a straight line as he tries to keep a straight face.
"This isn't you, Devon. Can you snap out of it?", Mark says quietly, standing in front of me.

I lean in close to him.
"Not even if I wanted to", I whisper, before turning around and walking out of the door.