little love

76

Maya

I was sick over what i asked Carina to do. I know she was too. But we had to make this call in order to protect Maddie. We promised we would protect her, even if it was from herself.

I had Andy take Maddie up to the lounge, and i took refuge in my office. Carina was going to FaceTime me when she got to the apartment so we could search Maddie's room together.

I picked at my nails and bounced my leg up and down, my nerves getting the better of me. Vic poked her head into my office.

"Everything okay?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Carina is about to go through Maddie's room. I'm just waiting on her to call me." I responded bluntly.

Vic closed the door, and shut my blinds. She sat down next to me and rubbed my shoulder encouragingly. She didn't say anything, she didn't have to. She loved Maddie too. And we could all see she was struggling.

Vic sat with me in silence, and i was grateful for her presence. We were interrupted by my phone ringing. It was Carina on FaceTime.

"Hi bambina" she said solemnly. She didn't want to do this either. "Oh, hi Vic" Carina added seeing the other firefighter. She was glad Maya had company, but she wished Maya was here with her.

"Hi Carina, im sorry you have to do this" Vic said.

I couldn't find my voice, so i smiled sadly into my phone. Carina headed into Maddie's room, and nothing looked out of the ordinary at first glance. Carina ruffled the blankets on the bed, nothing fell out except for the tattered remains of a sweatshirt i recognized as one of mine from high school. She lifted the mattress and checked between it and the box spring, nothing. Under the bed was clear as well. Just some winter clothes in boxes they had stored there when the weather warmed up. The dresser was messy, but nothing concerning. Same with the closet and side table. Her room looked fine.

"Car, check the bathroom" i said

Carina nodded and made her way into Maddie's bathroom. The shower chair sat in the middle of the shower, but nothing else seemed too out of place. Carina fingered through the medicine cabinet but stopped when she got to Maddie's Sertraline.

"Maya...." Carina trailed off. I didn't understand what she meant by it. Of course Maddie's meds were in the bathroom. Carina saw my confusion so she elaborated "Maya, this bottle is practically full. She is due for a refill in a few days."

I started to put it together. "She stopped taking her meds." I breathed the words

"Si bambina" Carina said. "it could explain some of her behavior... side effects of withdrawal from a medication like this include nausea, mood changes, irritability, tremors, anxiety, lethargy, insomnia, so many."

"Could that explain the change in her behavior?" Vic asked

"Maybe. It certainly isn't helping." I said, moving to stand up. I wanted to go and confront Maddie.

"Maya-" Vic stood up

"Bambina take a breath" Carina said, Vic grabbed my arm and gently guided me into the bunk area. "Maya, breathe. If you go in there guns blazing, it wont go well." She was right, of course she was, she almost always was.

I felt the tears coming, and then i felt Vic rubbing my back.

"I'll be at the station in a few minutes Maya, breathe for me please. We will figure this out together, okay? Breathe bambina" carina urged me. I looked at the phone and saw Carina exiting the apartment and heading to her car.

Less than 15 minutes later, Carina came into my office and pulled me into her embrace. "Bambina this is okay, this is something we can fix. We can get her back on the meds, and we can make sure she takes them" she soothed me. "Thank you victoria" she said as hughes made her way out of the office with a smile.

After a few deep breaths, i knew carina was right. This could've been much worse. We could make Maddie take her meds in front of us, it would be okay.

"Let's go talk to our girl" I said, moving to get up.

"Maya, i agree we need to talk to her, but we need to come with a united front. And we need to do this at home. Not here." Carina said and i nodded. Per usual, she was right.

We sat in my office for a bit, making a plan. I called Andy down to my office and filled her in. I wanted to go home with Maddie and Carina so we could have our needed talk. She was more than happy to fill in as captain for the remainder of the shift.

"Hey hun- ready to go home?" I said poking my head into the lounge where Maddie sat reading

"You're coming? I thought you still had 12 hours left on shift?" She asked

"Andy is gonna cover, i want some time with my girls" i crossed the room and wheeled her out and over to the elevator. She remained silent, not even responding when Carina greeted her. We got in the car and headed for home.

"Mads- can i please just carry you up?" I tried to insist. Maddie looked like she wanted to refuse, but eventually conceded and let me scoop her into my arms. I was shocked at how light she was. She was definitely losing weight.

We got into the apartment and i got Maddie settled on the couch. I intentionally made sure her crutches and wheel chair were out of her reach so even if she wanted to, she couldn't storm off.

"Mads, little love? We need to talk baby" i said and watched her whole body tense up. It reminded me of how she was that first day i came to her soccer game. She was afraid and it broke my heart.