Malákas

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Problems are found throughout the world, whether in a populated and developed area or Central Africa, where the natives still practice Aztec blood rituals. These problems can be solved in many ways. Some decide that a nice, calm conversation with coffee and sleeping pills will help settle disputes, but others see violence as the best solution to resolve any conflict.

I am one of those people. Why bother explaining yourself to a stranger about the economic recession when I can just shove him aside and forcefully send him off? I used this method for as long as I remember, and I am now the most feared man in the underworld. Today I was unfortunately dragged into a problem. This problem evolved later, and suddenly I am now participating in a duel with church warriors.

Rias: I'm sure you all know the rules by now, so I won't waste your time, but remember, no killing.
Ready?

Irina: Ready!

Xenovia: I will teach respect to you.

Kiba: Go ahead and try.

Y/N: Let's get this over with.

Rias: Go!

Irina: I heard that you can-

Before she could finish her sentence, I threw some of my blunted throwables at her, which I always keep with me. She unsurprisingly dodged it, but she made the mistake of fixing her gaze onto the throwables instead of me, giving myself a nice big window to finish it here and win the bet I made with my imaginary friend.

Irina: Hey! We barely start- YUCK!

She was now covered in a sticky white substance that must not be seen as out of context because the liquid is glue, so there is no need for degenerate thinkers here. Anyway, the glue was not perceived by all, and some have in fact questioned the true origins of the substance, but like I said, it's glue; not everything white is sperm.

Irina: EWWWW!! What is this!?

Irina: Oh! No, please, God, I pray to you; don't tell me I have been defiled by a man who calls himself a hero!

*Laughter*

Koneko: Like daughter like father.

Issa: How did you get that much? Will you use it on me~

Y/N: What are you talking about? That's glue.

Issa: I knew it was too good to be true.

Irina: Glue!? You covered me in glue!? Why did you do that you meanie!?

Y/N: Weren't we dueling? It's your fault for getting hit; stop complaining.

Irina: I can't move! My hair! It's ruining my hair!Please get me out of this glue mess!

Y/N: Do you surrender?

Irina: Yes! Anything! Just get me out of this thing!

Y/N: Gladly, there's just one problem: the glue hardens on contact with air, and getting you out will hurt a lot.

Irina: Then why did you use it!? Do you enjoy making girls stuck!? Get me out!

Y/N: Don't say I didn't warn you.

I know of just one way to help her, and that is once again extreme violence. I approached her and then prepared myself. In the blink of an eye, my fists were now inside the glue, having broken its outside layer. Then, I grabbed the closest thing there was on Irina, and that was unfortunately her assets, after feeling my harsh touch she began to scream and so, not wanting to be stuck with her, I grabbed her assets with immense strength and dragged her out, breaking the glue and knocking her out cold for a short time due to shock or the pain she felt when I accidentally punched her in the face to make sure she didn't try anything.

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