Basking Brooks

Mirroring

“I feel like a mirror reflecting back
everyone’s perception of me.”
– M.I.A.

Being lovable, caring for the loved ones, putting them in front of our own self, the genuine bonding… these are slowly becoming obsolete and outdated traits of being a human.

Everyone in this modern world runs behind something or someone.

Everyone is preoccupied. Well, the question is, ‘Why are we running so fast away from our own identity?’
Being true to others and maintaining a sincere relationship are being ridiculed by the society (which is nothing but ourselves in whole), and
worse, even by the people we love too.

The pain that arrives when we realize that we give so much, yet, the person whom we care for, fail to reciprocate it, and eventually calls us ‘emotional’, ‘over-bonding’ and ‘over-reacting’, knows no bounds. “What
happened to sanctity of a friendship?” Is it lost?

The hard fact comes to hit us right in our throats, which is, yes, the people have become so self-involved, and because of certain disturbing incidents in their personal world (which doesn’t involve us), tend to not
trust anyone anymore, and distance themselves.

Ego is a serious drug capable of jeopardizing any form of intimate relationship. It just takes the relationship and shreds it down to bits. It really hurts to find out that people do not care anymore about being close to someone and losing someone.

Every single person uses every other person for some form of a benefit, ranging from escaping from loneliness to straight up use for personal gratification/improvements. When I asked my close friend why it is wrong to be like a friend from old classics, his answer startled me. He said, ‘Even though that is the actual way to love and express ourselves, it is not the case for this newly developed world, where for being true and sincere, you’d be called an idiot.’ A sudden scary feeling hovered over my mind like a dark cloud. When I thought that what he said might be actually true in a
practical sense, that thought bruised my heart in all possible ways.

If everyone has to act every single day in a friendship, in a relationship, where are we heading to? Family comes as an exception to all these chaotic mental confusions because, we all are bonded to our family. So, giving our
complete love, being a caring person, trusting them, everything is and will always get reciprocated… since our lives revolve around them (there could be exceptions in cases of families with difficult and strained relationships).

Being a genuine giver of unadulterated love is so rare these days that even the thought of changing yourself not to be one may also disturb the world’s emotional balance. So, do not change to a sick, fake, mobile flesh-bone thing. Instead, monitor and control the flow of your love.

Let us tackle the hindrance in people who are not related by blood.

Friendships, relationships, colleagues, etc. Never turn yourself into something you are not. You cannot become a stone-hearted carefree person by reprogramming wires in your head. True love should never be hidden.

Here comes into play, the mirroring tact. Mirror your love. Yes! If it is your best of all friends, treat him/her by giving your true love and care as always.

But, for the part of not getting hurt by them, when they fail to give back… it is always better to try to mirror the love and behavior, but, still holding onto your self-identity. Don’t let yourself go weak on your knees because of them.

If it is case wherein they do reciprocate your love and you can feel the strength of bond developing, then don’t let anything get in the middle of it and ruin. Treasure it. Realize that even though they are close to you, they
have a personal life. They can be what they choose to be.

Please do not make the stupid mistake of doubting yourself or the other person. A single drop of doubt is more than enough to wreak havoc in your personal world and will definitely play destruction-soccer in your haven of
peace. Letting go is one important task that always proves to be extremely difficult with respect to the closeness of the person concerned. Sometimes, we must realize that certain relations, however close you maybe, weigh you down more often and if you sit and wonder… there would be more hurting times than joyful moments.

Step away for some time; give yourself a break; realize that you have a life too, and people to care for too! There’s no use in toxic friendships that suck the positive energy off you.

Try to put yourself in front, occasionally and slowly, take the path that serves you with peace of mind. Constantly wondering and questioning about the relation won’t be of any help. Open conversations are immensely
useful in knowing the truth.

Be lovable, yet, do not become a play toy. Be sincere, do not get very much attached that it starts parading on your personal space. And never stop loving… the world needs more of it, now more than ever.