ꜰᴏᴏʟ'ꜱ ᴍᴀᴛᴇ || ᴛᴡᴅ

117: ꜱᴇɴᴛɪᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴍᴏᴏᴅ

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A storm raged that night, so Sami and the group heading to Meridian found shelter in a metro.

Maggie's people were here. Then Sami, Daryl, Dog, a few Hilltopers. Rachel had stayed behind to keep an eye on Judith and RJ. Grace and Negan were here, too, since they knew their way through the city. Sami refused to look at his mother.

As they made their way down the tracks, Sami couldn't stop thinking of Rosita. She hadn't spoken to him again before he left. He really hoped he wouldn't die on this trip. That he'd get the food and get home to her. Apologize with an apple or something. 

He reached his hand up to his shoulder, where his cuts were, and squeezed, making them sting. How dare he feel bad? He abandoned her when she begged him not to. And now she was going to be a widow, and have to raise Coco alone. 

He hoped that she'd tell her nice stories of him. 

"Thinking of the Mrs?"

He ignored Grace, as his hand fell to his side. His mother was enough torture. 

"I saw your baby." She said "Coco."

"Don't say her name."

Grace nodded. "Okay. She's very beautiful."

He stayed quiet. He knew she was. He didn't want Grace looking at her. 

"It's weird." She chuckled a little awkwardly, stepping over a track so she was walking beside him. "Being a grandma. Feel too young for it."

He continued looking at his feet, making sure he didn't get his foot stuck in the track, and following the people around him. 

"You know, I am proud. Of both of you, but I'm proud of you, Sami. You've done a lot of good."

How are she? How can she even stand herself? She's proud of him? She's proud of him? Oh, God, he hated how it affected him. How angry it made him. He thought she couldn't control him like that anymore. He thought she had no say over his emotions. 

"You're a good-"

He walked away, towards the front of the group, ignoring her, and falling into step beside Dog at the front. 

How old was he, now? Thirty something? Why was his mother still affecting him? Didn't most people not even have their mother's anymore? 

That made him think of his Papa.

No. No, he can't think of him. Not now. Not with everything he's feeling about leaving Rosita. He has to make it back. And if he thinks of his father, he'll throw himself at a walker, and then he'll never see his wife again. He can't. 

The subway tunnels were dark, wet and honestly stunk, but that was a pretty normal thing these days. Everywhere stunk thanks to walkers. He made a mental note to find a flower for Rosita. Maybe that would be a good apology.

Grace, walking behind him, felt like shit. She really thought he might look at her if she saved them. Or tried to. She though going to that cliffside would fix things.

Were problems like that really so deeply rooted? She'd grown up completely different to Sami. She had been with both her parents until the age of around ten, when he Dad took off because he couldn't handle her Mother anymore, Sami's Grandmother. 

She was horrible. But it was only to make Grace stronger. To make her work harder, show her that hard work alone wasn't enough. You had to be the best, or nothing at all. 

So, really, she didn't know what to do. How could she fix this? How could she make him care about her again? Make him know that she truly cared now?

As always, she found herself thinking of little Sami at the bus stop. She wasn't sure why he always came to mind. But he was just so different to this Sami. Of course, everyone changed with growing older, but she still found herself believing him to be that sweet, stupid boy. But now he was leaving his people to save them, not just putting his life on the line, but probably killing himself for some pears.