ꜰᴏᴏʟ'ꜱ ᴍᴀᴛᴇ || ᴛᴡᴅ

065: ᴀ ᴋᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ

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When the gates of Hilltop opened for Rick, Sami was surprised to be the first he came to, wrapping Sami in a hug.

He was to tired to cry, now, which he was thankful for, as Rick pulled away.

"He . . ." He took a breath, steadying himself. "He called you Dad, in the end. Said . .. .to tell you he'd . . . he'd miss you."

Sami looked at him for a moment. He'd never been very good at talking to people through looks, but Rick seemed to know how he was feeling, or what he was saying or something, because he nodded.

"I know. I know." He put a hand on his shoulder.

Sami glanced at Judith as Barbra brought her over, handing her to Sami, who handed her to Rick.

"I'm thinking of doing a run or something." Sami sniffed. "Getting her some fresh clothes or something."

Rick nodded, kissing the side of her head as they began walking to the graves, though Sami wasn't sure which of them decided they were. 

Sami hadn't been to Glenn and Abraham's graves. He didn't like being here. He never liked graves. He felt bodies weren't really people. Just vessels, if anything. One of the main reasons why he never cared much for the walkers. 

They stood there, with Judith, for a while. Sami wasn't sure how long, though Rick passed him Judith at some point, and she was now trying to squish Sami's face.

"Maggie's got lookouts?" Rick stood from the grave, looking at Sami, who pulled his face free from her grasp so he could talk.

"Every half mile, yeah. They're signal each other when something happens."

"I'm going, too."

Sami glanced at him. "Alone?"

"We should split up. Cover more ground that way." Rick looked at him for a minute. "I'm okay."

Sami knew he wasn't, but didn't bother saying that. Of course he wasn't okay. Carl was dead.

Sami looked away, at the ground, as he felt another wave of emotions in his chest. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before focusing on Judith again.

"Thank you." Rick said. "For getting her here."

"We both know she got me here, Rick."

Rick took off not long after, and Sami put Judith down for a nap. Which left him alone.

He wasn't sure what to do. So, he climbed the lookout by the gate, hearing Rosita and Maggie as he reached the top.

"It'll be harder after we finish this. When it's quiet." Rosita was saying. "For Sami, especially. You've seen him when it gets quite."

"He'll be closer to okay if Negan's dead. Same for me." Maggie answered.

"Me, too."

Sami reached the top, squinting in the cold sun. "Hello."

The pair looked at him, jumping slightly.

"Thought you'd be with Judith." Maggie said. "Or Gracie."

"Aaron's got Gracie, and Judith is napping." He leaned on the wall, looking out at the sun rising. It was quite nice. 

There were many unasked questions in the air. He felt like they were always around him. Like everyone thought the second they took their eyes off him, he'd do something. Something that'd end with him dead.

He wished he could be invisible again. He hated how it felt, but at least he could just vanish into the shadows when he was around people. He wasn't even sure why he came up here. Yet now he wanted to jump off, feeling the glances that Maggie and Rosita shared behind his back.