The Summer Of 1993

Part II. As It Should Have Been

     "He'll think of you on a sunny afternoon," played in my head.  I mopped his floors and didn't't peer in his things like si did when we  were fucking.  That was what we were doing. A new phone number rested on the fridge.  It was a name with a heart around it.  It was done.  "Fuck you, Johnny," I said to myself. She was doing what she should have done. I  was going to hang out with Sam,River, Jamie, and Joaquin.  However, Marsha wanted to do something special for me on my birthday.   "Fuck you, Johnny," I said that final Monday and throughout my last week. Jamie's aunt was going to take us shopping, to the beach and to,love like Cali girls that last week.

     "You seem angry today," Marsha said.  "And next week before you leave, I want to take you to dinner for your birthday."
"I'd like that.  I don't think Johnny wants to take me."
"I am taking you to the Formosa. You'll love it."
"I appreciate it."
"You are a pretty girl. Some man will love you to death."
"Thank you. You feeling okay?"
"Tired today."
"You will be tired. Are you keeping her?"
"Her?"
"You are too girly to have a boy. Send pictures. Call me."

Marsha gave me a hug that day and it was tight. It almost made me cry. I got in the van and blinked away tears as we rode home. Back at home, I got some lunch meat and bread and had supper. My mom called. "Are you excited about coming home. Well, babe, this is it, then law school!!!!" I told her I had not been feeling well. She said, "probably need good food, so are you done living like a maid and ready for the new life waiting for you." I told her I was.

"Hey, the gang wants to go on a drive. Come with us," she said.
"Okay."

I got in the car. To be honest, I wished I would have gone with them the first night and turned Johnny down. It has been a weird summer. No cicadas screaming summer will soon be over or humidity, just sweaty sex with a man who is loved by millions.... Joaquin was nice. He held my hand and even let me cry. "I know, baby, it hurts. You'll meet someone," he told me. "Johnny is a nice guy. Johnny has demons though and maybe it's best," he told me. Back at home, Barbara was getting back. "I am tired, sweets," she told me, but lunch on Thursday. She went into her room and went I sleep. It as only Monday.

He was there on Tuesday, but the door was locked and he stayed in all day. I wanted to knock. I wanted to ask him what I did wrong, but I just mopped. There was a note for me. "I am having a party Thursday. There may be a lot to clean up. Here's 1000. Good luck with law school." I knocked on the door and thanked him, but he said nothing. I left crying. I guess he met another starlet with blonde hair, blue eyes and a perfect body.   I swore I saw them on one of our drives.   Me meeting someone would be harder.

"What in the world is the matter, Susan?" Valerie asked.
"I don't matter."
"Sure you do, and you were just a fling for him.  We all knew you were fucking him.  Now you have stories to tell your grandchildren.  You will be okay.  You are too nice to marry someone like Johnny."
"But he is the sweetest thing," I protested.
"He wanted in your pants.  That's life."

     Marsha was just as harsh.  

     "Quit your blubbering?  Does he care?  No.  He has anew starlet he is hooking up with.  Indiana is so passé.  Get over it and move on."
"I wanted him to take me and rescue me from law school."
"You silly fool."

    I cleaned her house and she told me she really looked forward to Saturday and she "loved me" and I went out with the gang again.  I really had fun with them driving around seeing the sights.  I wished I never had gotten into bed with Johnny.  All I saw was his donkey dick and perfect body on mine or in mine.   Friday morning would solidify that.  

     I had a great time with Barbara and she told me, "You are a gorgeous girl.  Hell, I would sign you up to work for me and you'd meet stars better than Johnny, but Johnny is a red blooded male, and he knows you are going back home.  He is young and reeling from his breakup from Winona.  Keep this in your memories.  I started  to cry. 

     "He thinks in ugly and just felt sorry for me," I sobbed in her room. 
"Look, I am tired of this."  She pulled up my top and said, "You have nice tits."  She took off my bra.  "Fucking LOOK at them!"
"They are too big," I sobbed.  "The frat guys say so."
"Well, they are assholes."  She pulled down my shorts that showed my belly.  "A little chubby, but you are cute.  You have such a pretty face.  I only do pretty girls and I want to do you."

    So, I spent the evening in her room having sex with her.  She told me as she got dressed for the night, "Johnny really enjoyed you.  You are tight, you get wetter than a river, and you really are receptive to any stimulation.  Go home, be a wife and remember this summer."  We got dressed and that was the lat I saw her.  No phone number or anything. I had her last name and knew she was born in 1953.  I would look her up years later.
I was having lots of "lasts".   I went back to my room and cried again.  Johnny was having his party and I wasn't invited.  The words I was told the whole week ruminated in my mind.  "Get married and forget all of this.  Quit being a baby."   I sat in my room.  I should have stayed in that room the whole summer.