The Summer Of 1993

The Answers I Did Not Want To Get

My mood was dark for a few days and Jamie was sort of distant a few days after my little fit, but sometimes I got tired of being the fat friend, the ugly friend.   The weather was weird and one day it was foggy all day, until four. It was unseasonably warm. I enjoyed supper a few times out in my sunroom, but this day was oddly, oddly foggy and what I didn't want to happen was going to happen. The phone rang as I sat and looked at my phone. I looked at Facebook. All my friends with young kids were preparing for spring break and older moms like me were getting ready for time with grandkids. I loved seeing Bobby. He was so cute but he reminded me of Johnny. He had his eyes and smile, but he was a flirt. The phone rang. It was Maddie.

"Hey, Mads," I said.
"Mom, I thought we could go to dinner tomorrow.  You worked hard on Easter and I want to repay you."
"Sure. I am free. I could use a girls night out."
"Let's go to the Club Car,"
"Sounds like a plan, babe. Maybe a decent guy will be there."
"You not getting along with dad?"
"He's been an asshole lately."
"Awww.... Well look cute., maybe someone will buy our drinks."

I went to work that day so excited I got to spend time with my oldest daughter. I was getting ready and Steve was asking me "Why are you dressing up to eat with your daughter? I think you are getting horny again." Maybe I was. Inwas feeling mental. 85;must am have been menopause. 

"Maddie wants to go to dinner.  To thank me for Easter.."
"She cooks like you. Lousy."
"Sorry I didn't cook like your mom and grandma. Perfect women who both he back baby's after baby, keep a clean home, cook like a chef, and they are just perfect." I hated how he held them to his high esteem and my family was just a bunch of yutzes.
"I never said that Susan."
"You implied it."

    Soon there was a knock on the door and I composed myself.  Maddie walked in and she looked cute.  The had a red top on with this plaid skirt.  She looked like Johnny.  She still had a tummy and her boobs were like mine.  I felt bad for her.i called my boobs "tits of death".  She and I small talk about Sam and the baby having a good time and she told. Steve she would have me home early.  Steve whined and said, "Well when I want to eat she never wants to go with me."  I wanted to say, "You're fucking embarrassing and all you do is talk about yourself, your life, and how I should feel about things."   We get in the car and we drive off.   We make small talk which is about Steve.   I let loose on Steve,which I should nit but who am I to vent to.  Friends with no experience. Say, "leave him" but if I did, he would die.  M addie asked that question. 

   "Why do you stay?"   I have the excuse and it was true, most women like me get men who aren't as attractive wanting me.  I have David Jardins wanting to lick and taste "my goodness".  I have a friend who wants to set me up which a serial single guy who I am repulsed by but finds me "beautiful".  I should have NEVER asked who Olivia Easter wanted tos eat me yup with.  I had hopes it was a lawyer or a handsome doctor, but apparently i was home for creepers.  I guess I rocked creeper cock and I had to lose weight. 

    "Mom, you are beautiful. And I am not paying you lip service," she told me.  
"Tell Johnny Depp that," she said.   She looked at me. 
"About that, I know he is my dad.  I have a Depp woman with half my DNA."
"I don't want any part of this,". I said.  I wanted to bawl.
"Can't you tell me how you met.  Mom, I want to know.  Mom, I deserve to know."  She was crying.
"You're right.  You do," I sobbed.