The Summer Of 1993

The Era Of Good Feeling

Johnny's girlfriend and he had a baby and I was happy for him. I was madly in love with Lance Moravec, who made every appointment seem like I was the only patient he saw. I fell for him. I imagined a life war him rather than with Steve, who was hanging in by a thread and because of me at Arby's. I also began to waitress part time at The Farmer's Table, a local family buffet on Sundays and Wednesday night. It was dated and old, but it was a good place to eat and I made a hundred a night. I liked working where I did because at Arby's Steve was always making sure a customer wasn't flirting with me or I him, but I got to go out with the girls and flirt with guys. The Farmer's Table would be my saving grace.

    
I loved the girls I worked with and we did things together as friends. Susan and Staci were twins who we hung out ALL of the time. The kids swam. Sarah and Julia were close on age to Maddie and Jackie. We went swimming, shopping, having candle parties, having home interior parties and going to the zoo. Life was good for us. However, I felt lost because my "love of my life" was nit my husband. It was still Johnny and I thought of him on many sunny afternoons, and he probably didn't think of me at all. He lived in France. Plus, I was having all these affairs. The fireman. His name was Bradley Jansen and he was so cute. He was in a band, played guitar and all the young girls,went wild for him, it we broke up in October of 2005 and I think that was when things went to shit.

The girls were pretty though. Maddie looked like a curvy, female Johnny Depp. She, sadly, had tits like mine and Jackie was an auburn haired beauty. Maddie was in fourth grade, Mr, Bromelsiek was a bit worried about her. She is painfully shy. She told me how the girls were rich and we were in the wearing side of the tracks. "Mom, it just hurts," she told me. I told her I knew. I wished I could have done more. However, sffeve got a new car. Steve got a new entertainment center, a computer, and I had to work harder. Now I worked Monday through Friday at Arbys's and a few evenings at The Farmer's table. I was tired, Then Steve popped the question. We were going in a date, as Maddie could stay home and watch Jackie. Maddie was beginning to ask, REALLY ASK about her dad.   "Some girl said I liked like Johnny Depp," she told me.  I blew it off.   It was around this time that Steve wanted his heir.  

"I am talking you out for a dinner. I think we need to talk about a a few things," he told me. A divorce?
"Sure." I told myself to "be okay with it."
"I can't wait."

He cheated. I cheated. We were here "for the kids". I took the kids to the Johnny "Pirate's" movies. I didn't want to tell him, "He and I had oral sex." I gave Maddie the proverbial sex book. It was from the seventies. It was yellow and had girls with pert breasts and feathered hair. She was never embarrassed about sex like I was at that she. However, I was very open. I walked around. Asked, which I probably shouldn't have done , but the trailer next doo had been vacant for years.  Rumor had it, the park was going to be sold.   However, my girls weee beginning to do what I did, like shaving their bushes, which I hated but it pleased Steve. I caught Maddie playing with herself, but I did the same thing. There was so much I wanted to say to her like "she stopped traffic wherever we went and she had a nice body. That was the reason girls did not like her."

That night, I went to dinner with Steve, I was at Figaro's, an Italian place, he got lasagna and I got baked spaghetti. He smiled and said, "This is nice,"
"Yes. This is nice," I said.
"It is. I want to discuss a few things."
"Like what?" I hoped that it was a new house, a newer car, or something good.
"I think we need to try for another baby." Panic hit. "We have two girls ands one of them isn't even mine.   I havre forgiven you but you know, she worries me there she will become loose like you were."
"She values herself."  She did.  
"But you are denying me a son. I need a son! Dammit, Susan, your are my WIFE! You cheat in' on me?"
"Never."

He changed the subject, but that might I obliged him and tried for another. It was day 22, so I went it doctor Moravec and got on the pill secretly so I did not have to go through the depths of postpartum depression as I did with Jackie.   I went off the deep end with her.   It was nit a good time to have a child with what was coming up.  The trailer park was in the process of being sold for a steakhouse.  Our living area was going to be a bar.  Bruce, a man who lived a few trailers down, and someone if Steve was to ever leave, was someone I would consider dating if he ever left.  He was in his forties, but by then I was 34.  He would always stop by and ask if he things Mr. Gregory would sell.  He would.   

   We were entering a dark period in our lives.