The Summer Of 1993

Leaving On A Jet Air Plane

"Plane leaves at six,". Maddie told me. Our airport is podunk, like 1/1000th of O'Hare. "We can get there at five and be okay." I smiled. "I did break it to dad and he took it as an affront. ".  I told her, "Get used to it." I packed a few things. Steve came to my room. "Don't pack a bikini," he said. I told him, "I know. I am fat." He said, "Yeah. Save your feelings." I was only going to get fatter. Something was planted in me and I had no clue. I thought it was menopause. I was tired. I fell asleep on the couch during the news. That was a first. Of course, Steve made fun of me. That was the MO of his family. "Man, you sure were snoring, fix the fat and you won't snore," he told me. I wanted to say, "Fuck you." I wished he was ill.   He would guilt trip Maddie to take him home.  We got to the airport barely in time to Karen, Steve.  Reminds me of a party I had to leave because he was throwing up at work.  I hated to say it but he ruined my life. 

   It was an hour and a half and we were in Florida and there it was, the plane to take us to his island.   I felt hot in my sweater and we looked funny in our winter clothes.  Sean greeted us and we flew on this little place back to the island where Johnny was.   He looked different, older, heavier.  He had lost his best friend though.   He kissed me in the cheek.   He showed us around the island, the house, the shores....   The house was lovely.   We had a nice dinner and we just talked about events, his place in Somerset.   I would love to spend a week there.   Maddie mentioned being tired, so she went to sleep.   I think there was a baby cooking in her.  They did it enough. 

    "I think she's pregnant,". I said to Johnny.  "She has been trying.  She cried last month because it wasn't happening."
"Ah," he nodded.  "She is a good mama."
"She is."
"You are a good one too."
"I could have been better."
"I don't know about that.  You coped with what you had and that home in the hood broke my heart for you and the girls,  why do you stay with Steve?"
"He would be homeless or dead."
"You are a saint."
"Remember, I couldn't handle being married to you."
"I should have told that manager off.   I cried for days after That happened."  
"So did I.  I saw my 'replacement'."
"She was a fling, baby."
"Well you see that girl."   He kissed me.  It was too late anyway.   Something was  growing inside of me.  

      He kissed me again at the table, and we took a moonlight walk.   I was supposed to stay in a separate room,  but I ended up in his, where it was 1993, all over again.   He kissed so gently.  He spent time on my boobs, but I pulled away when he was paying attention to my belly.   "It's gross," I said starting to cry.  I covered it up.   "You had two babies,". He said.  He went a little lower, "Can I at least go here.  You still look the same, tiny."   "The tiniest thing about me,". I said.  He looked at me and said, "Susan, this has to stop.  You are ruining the moment."  He then when town on me.   He didn't stop until I was a moaning mess.   I repaid the favor.  He did not look the same.  He had a belly.  He had been eating a lot.,,.   However, when he got on me, I felt like a ride at the circus.  He then went to a chair, sat down, took me by the hand and we had sex like that and we came at the same time.   The damage was done though.  I rested my head in his shoulder.  

    We did it through the night, but we fell asleep.   However when the sun rose, Johnny wanted to "ring in the day right".   We had sex on a beach blanket all morning.  I would go in and check in on Maddie, who slept in, but we had lunch and just talked in the afternoon.   In wondered what it would have been like if it was the three of us from the beginning?   Being around a cute little toddler and having everyone in awe of her beauty.  As a single mom, it was different....    It was either pity or I was a 'ho. It was hard finding a man after having Maddie.

Johnny came one last time. He rested on me. He looked up. "Oh, fuck. She's up." He asked how she felt about Steve and I said, "it is a difficult relationship." He held my hand and said, "If things were different." I nodded. We are lunch and talked about general things. He was going back to England and did not know when he would be back. ,"I have some work to do,". He said. He talked of California and hoped to one day have us out there. It was a good day.then Johnny had a dinner prepared and it was wonderful. I felt so loved and adored, not like at home where I was ignored...

Again, we ended up,into each other's arms for the rest of the night. I wished I could have this forever.