The Summer Of 1993

A Period Of Good Feeling

Jamie came home and we went shopping for Founder's Day. We found some really cute size twelve dresses for me. I did cry for a bit at what my mom said and Jamie said, "She just doesn't want you to get your hopes up."   The next night, they taught the girls etiquette of Founder's Day.  However, Susan remembered a time she was so hung over at Founder's day, the smell of the food made her vomit and she spent the day in the country club bathroom.  Seth showed up.   She had little Maddie.  He held her while she ate.  She looked beautiful that night and that baby looked like Johnny.   After Founder's Day, he helped her to the car and he kissed her with such passion. 

    "When can you?"
"Technically when I stop bleeding."
"Soon?"
"Soon.  It has only been two weeks."
"Well. I can't wait."
"I can do things to you."
"I am sure next week we will."  He kissed me again.  "I am tired and gotta get home." 

     Founder's Day was lovely and I brought Maddie and the women were in awe.  Maddie never cried.  Never.  The girls were in awe with Maddie.  They all wanted babies but if they knew how I felt.  If they knew that I threw clots the first day back at school and I had to wear a diaper.   If they knew how depressed I felt.   If they knew how ugly I felt.   If they knew how my body looked.  If they knew how much it hurt to have her.   If they only knew....   I did have Seth and I was hoping Maddie would call him "Daddy". 

   Founder's Day for the men was nice and Seth was a gentleman.  He wanted his blow job.  On Friday night, I got a bit honest with him. 

      "I am sure you have a nice dress," he said.
"The underwear will suck though."
"What do you mean?"
"Seth, I have been wearing adult diapers."
"You just had a baby.  I don't care."
"I still have a tummy."
"I don't care,   You are gorgeous."

    Many of the girls carols me I looked beautiful.  I was tired.  Seth was, too,  he was practicing  at six am daily so we left early, and we went to an empty cul de sac in the new neighborhood next to ours  and I pleasured Seth,  Seth and Johnny were big boys.  I wondered about Johnny.   He was probably having fun with Kate.  She looked like a fun gal,  but I had Seth and that was the way of the world.  He took me home and I kissed him good night.   "I will see you tomorrow at the meeting," he kissed me.  I smiled.   "I am glad you weee nice about leaving early."  He drove off.  I went in the house and snuggled wire Maddie.  

   The next day, it was all about Olivia, who was now dating "Ogre".  She was so in love and I was so happy for her. 

    "Hey, Flounder is turning 21.  Thought we could go out Thursday."
"I'll ask my parents."
"Do."

   Seth and I were going strong.   I saw our future.  

     School was getting easier.   People noticed my belly was smaller.  A few people asked about the baby.  I brought some pictures like any good mom.   The bathroom did not look like a crime scene and walking class to class got easier.   Jamie was going to watch Maddie and I was going to crash at her place Thursday.   Mom trusted Jamie and Jamie was her "aunt".  Her aunt asked me if I wanted to be a maid this summer.  If I were single, I would.  Childcare was a bitch to pay for out there.   However, Maddie was the best thing to happen to me and her aunt admitted that.  "It's too bad Johnny  is dating Kate."  I blinked away a few tears.     I would find a good dad for Maddie.  It was Seth!  I knew it in my heart.  He would take us to wherever he was going.  Either to Oregon or Florida.  I would take Oregon.  

   On Thursday, Seth and I went out for Flounder's 21st birthday.  He was such a dork and I was sure if I had never gotten pregnant,  Flounder and I would be a couple.  It was weird ther Johnny hooked up with me and it was weird Seth was doing whatever with me.  He didn't want to commit to me,  but he said, "Hockey is my career, so let's not get too serious."  I think the kid scared him.   That night, Seth and I made out at his place.   I wanted to have sex, but it was too soon.  He, however, got another blowjob.   He seemed to like them a lot.  It would be revealed to me.  

   I had no clue what was coming....