The Summer Of 1993

They Are Being Antisocial

         "I don't want to fucking do this,". I told Jamie as I got in the car. 
"Did you make a gyno appointment?"
"I am on my parents insurance and I went in March.  You know how they are."
"You can go to the Women's Clinic. They have a sliding scale."
"They deliver babies?"
"Yes. You can got here if you don't want your parents to know."
"I thought they only did abortions."
"They deliver babies, too.  Look I will go with you."
"So, have they called you?"
"Actually Samantha did.  So did Joaquin,   You two were cute."
"I wish I would have met him over Johnny."
"You don't mean that."
"Joaquin wasn't in my panties, like ever."
"You will take that back."

    Lokagon State Park was a lush forest and a big lake.  People had their weddings on the lake all summer long.   We were camping at Brinley.  Carrie said she saved a tent for us as we walked along the road.  I felt really sick.   I fought it though,  it was hot, sweaty, and bugs were everywhere.  We hadn't seen each other all summer.   Susan Chandler, who was kind of a bitch said, "You are doing what we do in the winter.  Be pale and get fat."  I told her I worked all summer.  "Yeah, cleaner to the stars.  Did you meet anyone?"   I told her River Phoenix's brother.  "I am sure that was fun."  I didn't want to tell her I rode Johnny Depp for almost two months.  It would have started too much.  

    As the girls piled in, all they talked about was their summers and what they did and where they went and all the cool,clothes they got.   Cool clothes would be something I would soon give up.   Melissa Yandall came up.  She was in our group and she FINALLY found a boyfriend without the sorority's help.  I was so happy for her.   She's looked at me funny.  A few girls did.   I wondered if they were thinking I was THAT SISTER who got fat over the summer.  Amy Quinn, who set up the camping arrived.  She told us, "grab some sandwiches and sit down.  We have a busy few days."  She looked at me, too. 

   "Is it that noticeable?"  I asked. 
"To be honest, yes.   Your boobs have gotten bigger since we got home.  Has your mom said anything?"
"She ordered me a salad when I went to eat with one of her friends."
"Sounds like your mom."

   Her sisters whispered about her as she sat eating with her tank top.  She was "bustin' out".    I said to myself, "It seems my sisters would rather talk about me than to me." 

    "Now girls, let's go have fun at the beach and the work begins tomorrow!"  

      We went to our tent.  I put on my bikini.  I put a tee shirt over it.   I walked down to the beach with Melissa and a few of the older girls.  We watched the newer girls all excited about the next dance and what guy they were dating.  It seemed so long ago. Kelli Simms walked up to us.

    "Hey, is everything okay?"  She asked me. "You guys are being antisocial."
"Fine.  I just have had a busy summer."
"Looks like you packed on the pounds.  I know these herbs and take them.  They  are safe and they will help you."
"We'll see."  

   We walked down to the beach where we all sat in our groups and talked.  I looked at my legs most of the time.   Johnny spent a lot of time between them.   I did tall Carrie, as she was one of us. 

     "So, how was cleaning?"
"It was a blast."
"Did you meet anyone famous?"
"Kind of."
"Oh my God! You did!  Who?"
"You can't say a thing to anyone."
"You know I won't.  Like you kept your promise that I slept with Susan Chandler's boyfriend."
"You won't believe it."
"Who?"
"Johnny Depp."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?"
"Yes."
"You lucky duck."
"He blew me off."
"I am sorry,  but you have to finish school.  Then go find him.  Hey, the girls are talking.  They say you are getting fat.  Are you okay?"
"Let's just say a little bit of Johnny came back home with me."
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!!?????"
"Please, don't tell."
"Why isn't that fucker wifing you?"
"He's a star."
"Look,I am here for ya."  She hugged me. 

    There was a buzz around the campsite and everywhere we went "what is up with her?  Is she pregnant?"  I heard Susan say, "Probably some geekazoid."  That sort of hurt,  but that would be my secret.  "I don't know why they don't talk to anyone."  I just didn't have the energy.  I just wanted to be home in my own bed, where I spent  most of my time.   I listened to music, laid around enjoying the quiet, for this time next year, I would have a crying baby. 

     We grilled out for supper and that was pretty good.  My shoulders were burnt,  then we took a walk I the fields as the sun loomed low.  I picked a sunflower.   "You look so pretty," Jamie said.  She always told me I was the best looking girl in the sorority.  I just laughed.  Then we had a bonfire type of ritual and I began to cry.  They talked about sisters and I was really going to need them.   We went to bed and I fell right to sleep.  Tomorrow was going to be a long day.