The Summer Of 1993

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    Johnny took us to the airport where he kissed me goodbye as if we were never going to see each other again.  I felt bad for Maddie. I felt worse for Jackie. I looked at Maddie sternly and said, "Not a word.  Do you hear me?"  She said,"Well, that is yours and Dad's problem."  She could be a snot sometimes.  "You have to pick."  Personally, the way  Johnny treated me, I would have stayed forever....  I was exhausted.  I fell asleep and I didn't wake up until Maddie said, "Ae are home."  Waiting for us we're our husbands.   I rolled my eyes silently.  He said, "Hey, let's get something to eat."  I let Maddie snuggle Bobby and my husband suggested Applebee's. I rolled my eyes again.      

   I got in Maddie's car.   I got in the back seat with Steve.  He asked if I ate a lot,  Maddie said,"A lot of beef."    Steve was an asshole all through dinner because the steak sucked.  He then said, ""Well, the house is still  a mess, so it is just like you being hime."  I hated my husband.  I said, "Lord, please take him." We drove to Applebee's. I was worried for Maddie. She seemed sick. She was in the bathroom a lot. She seemed fine on the island. However it was a dinner full of Steve trying to act like head in control of the marriage. "She needs to quit that wig store," he said. "The. Only reason she is there is for the discount. Oh and eating dinner with gay men. They probably have threesomes." I was so humiliated, he said that. He mentioned Johnny and our sex almost three decades ago. If he only knew.... I tried to talk about other things but he kept saying what I said was "stupid" and I really wanted to stop and say what I did all weekend, I could not wait to get home and relax, but Steve had other ideas.

"So, whatever you did, I hope it is out of your system?" Shit. He knew.
"What do you mean about that?"
"All this travel with Maddie. Have you seen Johnny?"
"I have not. I have talked to him and we are going to a concert of his."
"But you don'tt have any contact with him."
"I did talk to him, but you know, he has a girlfriend."
"And you have a husband and like he would be interested in a fatass like you. Just being honest."
"Look, he has a girlfriend. He has t under wraps."
"Well good for him. You did mot see him this weekend."
"No. It was time with Maddie, I am going to Chicago with Jackie next week. My daughters have different interests."
"Maddie has her babies. She's pregnant."
"I think she is. Maybe another grandson for you."
"Maybe."
"How about we, um, you know..."
"Can I please take a shower?"
"Of course," he said. He reeked of vodka. Plus, Johnny and I had "one last time" before I we left.

   They drove us home and went in.,I tried to be polite that Steve had cleaned but it would be a whole week before I found everything he moved.  Bobby was cutting teeth so I gave Maddie a cold, wet washcloth for him to chew.  Then I was alone with him.  

I took a shower. I really looked at myself. Johnny seemed to enjoy my fleshier body. I washed up and a bit of what Johnny and I did went down my leg and washed down the drain. I walked out in a towel and there he was, hard and naked. I knew I had to give him a blowjob. I did. I was a "little rough". "It is because you are out of practice," he told me. "Once you hit menopause you have no excuse not to do this to me." I felt trapped.  

      He returned the favor and said, "You,are nine dry and stink like a fish."   I rolled my eyes.   "Sure you didn't do anything."  He said, looking at me."No. Not at all."   I was scared.