The Summer Of 1993

July 4th

The boys were in Italy and I watched social media religiously for them and Johnny. They had a day off. I have to admit I seethed a little anytime a pretty girl was ad Johnny. I'm would have been a horrible rock n' roll wife. He had some beauties around him. They had gorgeous hair, gorgeous bodies, and pretty faces. I had nine of these. I was sort of hyperpigminted from the pool. I went to the pool on Saturdays. I was working out and eating right and that belly. IT WAS HUGER! It hurt when I laid on my side and my organs seemed to be loose. Maybe I did have cancer or a "tooommooorrr". I just did not want to know. The slim fast and bars were not working....

I had a lot of my list that day. One was taking Steve to work, getting some alone time and then going to to lunch with Jamie.

The drive in was full of, "I fucking hate holidays. We are short staffed and everyone downtown comes in to ear and these fucking kids have no work ethic." I thought to myself, "Are there any poles I can drive him into?" I dropped him off. I drove back home, locked the doors and got out pink Johnny for a morning session. I got off twice. I could not wait for the real thing. I got in the shower and got ready for lunch. My belly tightened  a little. Must have been breakfast. I got ready, wearing the curly wig that made me look like Vanessa. I could not wait to see Johnny!

I drove to the "cute little bbq place" Jamie talked about. There she was. She was GORGEOUS!!! She would have de any man proud. She looked at me funny. She smiled.  "You look gorgeous," she said.   "Those red cheeks."  I smiled.  "Can I ask you something, though?"  I nodded.  "Do you think you could be pregnant?"   I laughed.  "I am going through menopause.  No baby.  Those are done and I would know full well if I were pregnant," I told her.   I changed the subject.

    "I am so excited to meet my grandbaby,". I said.  "I hope it's a girl!"
"Susan, I don't think you could have a boy.  So, what have you been doing?"
"Living through others watching the Hollywood Vampires travel through Europe.  I feel like a groupie or something."
"You are.  You have slept with someone from the band.  Will you?"
"If he asks.  I cannot resist."
"I hate to say it,  but he is your one."
"I feel it too, but when I see a model all up on him, I get a little jealous."
"Awww..."
"This gut.  It is disgusting."
"Please, go see a doctor.  My take is you're pregnant." 

    I reminisced about that summer. 

     "I wish I were more assertive," I said.  "I could have kept him."
"Perhaps.   Maybe you would have gotten bored with him, too."
"When I am with him, I feel things I never felt with other guys." 
"Awww...". 

    We talked about other things.   The talked until Steve called me to get him.   I rolled my eyes.   Jamie saw.  She looked at me.   "Maybe you need to drop him before getting with Johnny?"
"Yeah,but he would die without me."
"I know.   Johnny see,s to have demons, too.   I guess it is pick your battle."
"Yeah.  He is high a lot."

    He for high in the room with me at the island a lot and In Maddie's room.  

    I picked Steve up.  He was bitching about the day.  It was nice to. It have him home.   However, the night ws spent with him talking at me and not to me.   He asked about the trip.   "We are going outlet shopping and I have to get my specialty bras."   He asked, "How much will that set us back?  Also, how about a girdle?"   I had to do more crunches.   God, I was getting  fat.  I went to my room.  Johnny texted and said he would see us in a couple of weeks and the room was under C. Stench.  I smiled.   In wouldn't wait to see him.   I got up and got a drink.  My intestines ripped again.  Maybe I had cancer.   I went for a walk.  That right side felt liek something was there.   Maybe I had cancer.   What would I do?   I was going to have two grandbabies and my two girls....