The Summer Of 1993

A Whirlwind Romance

Our first date was the day before my birthday. He took me to dinner at a Texas themed steakhouse and then we went back to his place for some sex. It was good. He was ALMOST as good as Johnny. I got safely home at ten and my parents "really liked" this one. Then he scheduled us off on a Saturday and we went to a local, nearby by city for a zoo day. He liked Maddie and Maddie liked him. He carried her on his shoulders through the zoo.  It was a happy time and  we could have drinks and talk at his house, but was really his ex wife's house,   He didn't tell her the house was his ex wife's, and he had three months to find a place.   It was a small house, but in the sixties, one of those national homes that newlyweds had.  He lived on Apple Blossom Lane in one of those one stories with the cheap siding.   It was a budding romance and little Maddie and I had a nice dinner every night, but they also drank a lot and soon I  was pregnant.  

          I still was kind of active in the sorority.    Steve had Sunday's off, so he took care of Maddie, who caught the heart of his family.  His mom Candy called her "fucking beautiful" and said, "If you guys need a night away, I will take this girl!  What a beaut!"  At a lake party on a cold, breezy day, his sister Mary said, "Oh my God!  This kid has a Johnny Depp face!"  I smiled uneasily,   However, the drinking and fun were over as soon as it began.   The facade began to crumble.    It happens as two lines came in the test.

    "You know we're going it have to get an abortion," he said flatly to me.
"I wasn't ready to have Maddie."
"Look, this house is not mine.  It is  my ex wife's and is going back to my ex wife in December.  Look, please don't leave me. Please."  He was crying for me not to leave but a voice in my head screamed to run.   However, who would love me.  I decided to ruin my life even more.  There would be evictions left and right, including the weekend I had Jackie.  It was the worst time in my life. 

    So, on Veteran's Day 1996, I was going down to Indy with Maddie and Steve to right this wrong.    He took Maddie and took her to the museum.   However, when they dropped me off, and the pro life women held up fetuses, Maddie called them babies.   I thought it would be a cut and dry thing,  but I was there for six hours being, poked, prodded, and asked off is as sure I wanted the abortion.  Then, as I left they had ultrasounds on the counter.  I wondered which was mine.   It was the worst day and Maddie got tired with Steve, so she was a sobbing mess.  I had to sit in the back of the car and comfort her, but she comforted me and I cried into her hair.   For the first time, I wanted Johnny.   I cried for Johnny.   I had to work the next day as well.   "You can work tomorrow quit your whining,   You will be okay,". He told me.  "Work will be good for you.  It will help you forget."  It did not.   I ended up crying in the walk in on Tuesday.   Greg told Steve I was crying and he said, "You need to get ahold of yourself."  He did not know what I went through.   I was supposed to carry a baby to term, not kill it. 

    He dropped us off at our parents.   Maddie talked about the museum.  She talked so well.   "I liked the funny house, but mom did not go.  She went to be building with babies," she said.   I told my parents it was a dream she had.   They nodded.  She did not know.   They really liked Steve.  Hey were snowed by his charms.   Mom told me, "I think he is the one.   Keep him.   It isn't there we didn't like Maddie, BUT she is your child and you need to raise her,  not us.  Basically they were giving me permission to move in with them. 

   A month later, he was signing to buy a trailer from the fifties that had seen better days.  It was our home until I bought a house in the ghetto in 2008.   However this trailer was always damp and cold.   There was mold.  I hated it.   I was so depressed.   My last college class was insignificant.   I went to work the next day and that Christmas was the worst ever.   I barely had money for Maddie's gifts.   I sat in the trailer and cried, as Steve gave me the day off.   Maddie and I played, but I cried to myself.   We went to dinner on New Year's Eve and the ugly side came out from him.  He heard about my escapades.  

    "Threesomes in a fucking office?  What in the hell are you thinking?"
"I-I didn't have you and I am so sorry."
" I wonder people stare at me.  They think I am a whore because I am with you!"
"I'm sorry."
"If I did not fucking love you so much, I would dump your ass."
"Please, don't,". I sobbed.  He kicked my feet.   I cried and cried....  

    When was it going to get better?