The Summer Of 1993

Happy Birthday

"Happy Birthday! Since you are going to dinner with the Hollywood elite, thought I would take you to lunch,". Jaime said. We went to a quaint little diner and Jamie got me a "Cry Baby" tee shirt. She said, "Let me help you get ready for tonight." She curled my hair, put on my makeup and told her, "you are so pretty. Why do you say you are not?" I told her how I was fake asked out, the charity auction where I went for $3 to clean up puke. "I knew Johnny was too good to be true." Everyone said I was pretty because it was just lip service.  I wasn't.  Johnny had me to have sex every day,   I was used.  I did look better than ever and I hoped Johnny was out on the town. He was probably with blondie.

"I didn't recognize you," Marsha said. "Now beautiful girl, let's go to dinner." In thanked her and hoped Johnny was there and he would beg me to stay, but like the phone in the rooming house, it never rang wishing me a happy birthday. It was over. Well, until a pushy twenty eight year decided to old open up old wounds.   On the way there she talked about how it was forty years ago.   "I was twenty.  I knew James Dean.  I was a real dish," she told me.   I smiled.  "As are you.  You had the attention of a very famous man and that is something you can look at with pride.   Don't feel sad it happened.  Johnny chose you," she told me.   I didn't say much.   She said, "Cat got your tongue?"  I told her, "I am taking this all in.  This is all so new to me and I wished I would have done this sooner."  She laughed and said, "Oh no you don't."  

   The driver let us off and we walked in.  They all knew her and all eyes were on her.  "Good Evening, Marsha.  Who is this lovely?"
"My adopted daughter.  No drinks but feed her well."
"Thank you," I said. 
"I always get the steak.  It's the best.  Also, it will help baby.  I know you don't eat right. Those diners  aren't good for your waistline.  Also, breastfeed.  The pounds pop right off.   Also, get yourself to a good gynecologist."
"I will."

   I had a laundry list of things to do.  Marsha was fun, but she made me miss Johnny, as after her first two vodka gimlets she asked about sex, which turned me on, but then made me miss him. 

    "So, tell me, darling, they call him Donkey Dick.  Is that true?"
"Why did you think I wanted it so much?"
"That is too much for me, but I love it!"
"What position did you do it in the most?"
"Me on top actually.  He liked that."
"Pretty face and body to look at."
"Not really."
"Susan, no negativity here.  You are beautiful.  Why I will ask our waiter.  Rico!"  She clapped her hands.
"Yes, Madam?  Is everything all right?" He asked.
"It is not."
"How can I fix it?"
"Give this girl a lobotomy.  She thinks she is ugly."
"Mademoiselle, you are far from ugly."
"See.   Now stop!"

   After that embarrassing moment, she talked of her love of her life, which was not her director husband.  It was a well known star.   "I loved him, as you love Johnny and maybe some year you will meet again.  I meet him for dinner for  time to time.  That is how I know you have been hanging out with Johnny."
"Marlon?"
"Yes.  Marlon.  You have to keep your mouth shut.  When you go back, you will be tempted to tell your friends and your sisters.  Don't.  Do you think her darling girl I met tonight will?"
"Never.  She is my best friend.  She knows I am pregnant."
"Hope so.  You have a lot at stake."

    She talked of her upbringing in Ohio.  "See, just a girl like you.  One day, you may be me,  it get yourself a banker.  Get yourself someone who will,love you and your doll baby."  She handed me an envelope.  "I want you to mail me and call me, and maybe even come out with the kid.  Hell, I may even fly you both out.  I mean this, Susan."  Marsha would be a,true friend for life.   Almost thirty years.  

    "Did you ever cheat on your husband with Marlon?"
"I did." 

   She changed the subject.  She told me to go back home and study hard.  

   At the end of the night she hugged me hard, gave me a bottle of Dune, took my address down, and said, "ALWAYS stay in touch.  ALWAYS."  I would remain true to my word.   The driver dropped me off and I went up to my room.  Jaime was out partying and all I heard weee bedsprings of the women working, men getting lucky, and I went for a walk.   I ended up at his house.   He lived three miles away.  I stood looking at it.  I saw a light in the upper bedroom and a baby blue convertible, the same one I saw on the street the day he kissed her.  The was fucking per perfect body.  Part of me wanted to go knock on his door and show him how pretty I looked.  However, I wouldn't want miss perfect to lose any moment of pleasure. 

    I got home at three.  Jamie hugged me. 

    "I was so worried.  Where did you go?"
"I walked up to johnny's.  I wanted to show him how pretty I looked.   The girl he was seeing out to her car was there,". I sobbed.  "It's over."
"It is sweetheart,  but you have me, and from what I saw in your room, Marsha adores you.  Let's just chalk this up and worry about the baby."
"I am eight weeks."
"When we go to Knott's Berry Farms, I will say rides make you sick."

     I spent the rest of the early Sunday morning crying with Jamie as she held me.  Her aunt picked us up. She lived on Havenhurst, near Johnny. I would go on a few "one last" walk.  Her aunt was fun and bubbly. I was feeling sort of sick. I think a lot of it was heartbreak, but I was sick a lot of the mornings. I was going to enjoy California like a tourist, as I should.