Jealousy

Craving You

"Come on Katie, you can do better than that." Grace laughed "shut ye mouth, Moloney" I laugh back and try to put her off I press + on my treadmill, making it go faster, I wink at Grace as I also up the incline quite a lot. "Jaysus, Mary and Joseph!" Grace gasps and slightly tripped before balancing on the side parts for the treadmill to watch me. "Well now you've failed haven't you?" I say, cheekiness in my tone. "But Katie, look at you. You're like some kind of power house." I continued on running the sweat running down my skin. Grace and now a few others were watching me, I wondered what Lili would do if she was here. I wondered if she'd join them all watching or would it drive her wild? I look on in front of me, I picture Lili in my mind. If only I was running towards her.

I stop the treadmill when it's time to swap equipment. I sit on the exercise bike alongside Grace and Anna we work hard, sharing the occasional joke and bantering between ourselves. The tv above the bikes goes from morning news to an ad break, the Lionesses come on screen "kick off starts at 12:15 today." It says. I look around and frown, that's the time we're due to go for a team walk. I don't wanna go, I need to see the game. I try not to make it obvious that I'm interested in the game, I continue on with my routine. Luckily my thoughts went unnoticed. We somewhat go off , doing our own things after a bit. I focus on weights and do some workouts with the resistance bands. "Look at you." Ruesha snickers. "Why do I recognise this routine... you're trying to impress someone." Ruesha gasps as I don't acknowledge her, I continue to weight lift, opting to do some dead lifts. "Oh you are!" She sing songs. "Who is she, you dirty girl?" Ruesha grins. "Dunno what you're talking about Rue." I shrug. "You used to do this for me." She replied, our eyes meeting for a bare second. I look away. "We have moved on." I reminded her. "Katie, we were together for years... we were engaged. I know you." Ruesha stated lowly so it was only the two of us hearing each other. "Gee really? Because I recall getting slagged off regularly on your podcast. You're bitter, not interested. Learn the difference." I turn away from Ruesha and continue to work out. I hate that she knows me so well, it makes me more aware that whatever step I take next I need to be tactful. Ruesha has a big mouth and would take delight in being the first to say or do something that involves me, or even Lili if she cottoned on quick enough.

We took some time to freshen up and get ready to go on the walk. I was determined not to go. Instead I showered from the morning in the gym and sent the Arsenal group chat a text.

Arsenal women
KM: "Good luck guys, you've got this. @BM @LWM @LW @AR and @LB"

BM: "Thanks Katie 🥰"
LWM: "👍🏻"
LW: "🤨 let's go!"
AR: "Macca❤️"
LB: "👍🏻"

I open my chat with Viv, Vic and Jill.

"Good luck guys. Go show them what you're made of! 🫶🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 sterk meisjes"

The girls reply with similar replies to the England girls. They all must have their game faces on, I know how it is. "Katie are you ready?" Louise Quinn knocked on my door knocking me out my thoughts. I went over to the door and cracked it open slightly. "Hey, Lou. Can you let Elieen know I'm not feeling so well." I wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. "Damn. Are you ok? What happened you were alright this morning..." Louise looks concerned. "I dunno I've come over clammy, like. I frown. "Go and get comfy I'll let her know. Do you need anything?" Louise asked. "No, I'm just gonna lie down. I'll be grand." I sigh dramatically. Louise goes and I lay in bed for 10 minutes. I'm glad I had because Elieen came up to my room and knocked on. I put on my act again. "Elieen..." I start with my faked up poorly look and voice. "Listen, Katie. You look rough. Get yourself whatever you need on room service and get yourself better. I've asked they still make your lunch since the girls will be out for lunch after the walk. Oh and here." Elieen passed me a packet of paracetamol. "Get them down ye, it'll help." She smiles. "Thanks Elieen." I nod. I felt slightly guilty for lying but at the same time I didn't care.