Home; I Found With You // Ryeji FF

never.

Never had she thought that she would be burying her parents this young.

Never had she imagined that she would be the one digging shallow graves in the backyard of the house she grew up in.

The week since leaving behind the remnants of what once was felt like the longest of her life. She wanted to escape, to get as far away as possible, knowing that clinging to the past would only bring more pain. Yet, the image of her parents lying on the cold, hard wooden floor of her living room haunted her in the back of her mind.

She turned the car around.

She put her house key in the door.

Her parents were there on the floor, exactly as she remembered, the image etched into her mind like a tattoo that would never heal.

The shovel was heavy. She hated physical activities, but she had no choice. She had to lay to rest the people who had given her the world.

She took one last look at her parents, lying side by side in the ground beneath the earth, before turning to leave.

With a heavy sigh, she vowed to herself she would never dig a grave again.

So she thought.

The day after her base was reduced to ashes, she returned knowing they wouldn't stay to stand in ceremony after the massacre they committed.

Of course they wouldn't; they only wanted her.

Walking the familiar route through the campsite that she once called home, she struggled to grasp the reality before her. It felt as though she were a specter, floating outside her body—an empty husk of flesh and bones. Each breath hurt like smoke still lingered in the air, every heartbeat pumped shards of glass through her veins.

Yet, it didn't hurt. Everything was numb.

Her eyes scanned the desolate landscape, the once vibrant green trees and grasslands now blanketed in a flood of grey and black.

She remembered the night before the end. They had just celebrated Vicky's engagement to her longtime boyfriend. As she walked to the center of the campsite, she could still see the bonfire they had lit, her friends dancing around the flames with pure euphoria on their faces. Jay's laugh echoed in her memory as he sat on the Cajon, drumming along to her guitar while Heejin sang her heart out.

Now, it was silent.

The weight of her boots felt unbearably heavy as she glanced back at the small cabin they had shared. It was gone. There was nothing left for her there.

Stepping into what used to be the entrance, she could almost see her—just as she had left her, when she held her for the last time.

A single tear escaped down her still-burning cheek.

Every part of her begged to release all the sadness, the despair, the anger.

But she couldn't. She wouldn't.

Kneeling in the ashes, she brushed away the soot from her body. Barely recognizable, but she could still see the beautiful woman she had cared for with all her heart.

She held her stiff, darkened hand, remembering the way their fingers used to interlock—the other half of her that taught her how to love.

That night, she buried them—all her friends, Heejin, and her old self that had held so much pain.

Never would she allow herself to care again.

Never would she allow herself to love again.